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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Mick Hucknall apologises to 1000 women he slept with

158 replies

GoldenGreen · 03/12/2010 10:19

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/celebritynews/8178285/Mick-Hucknall-apologises-to-1000-women-he-slept-with.html

The way I am reading this is he is that firstly he is sorry for being unfaithful to whoever he was with at the time - ok I get that.

But I am finding this a little creepy on other levels because I think if you apologise to your groupies, it implies you think you were taking advantage of them at the time? Or is it that he misled them all into thinking they were his only partner (at a rate of 3 a day, that'd be hard to do).

(please MN lawyers note I am not saying that Mick Hucknall has done anything wrong...)

DP reckons I am overthinking this which is quite possible Grin

OP posts:
Quattrocento · 03/12/2010 19:12

But what is he apologising for?

The numbers? Or his performance? What?

NonnoMum · 03/12/2010 19:25

btw - Martine McC wasn't just sick in his CAB, she was sick in his DREADS. That's why we never saw them again.

"I keep holding back my beer, holding, HOLDING!"

smallwhitecat · 03/12/2010 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

thenightsky · 03/12/2010 19:27

I don't care how many women slept with him.

I do care that he is implying he couldn't help and it's his mother's fault Hmm

Notevenamouse · 03/12/2010 19:31

He is probably apologising for not calling these women afterwards because he is so big headed he assumes they would have liked to do it again/marry him/have his kids.

Am off to get wine to obliterate Nonnos gift of such a wonderful mental image.

expatinscotland · 03/12/2010 20:38

You'd have to be so drunk you've gone into orbit to have given him the time of day, much less shagged him.

That would be something to bury in the dark recessesses of your mind and not tell a soul.

marantha · 03/12/2010 20:42

iTigress.
I have to say your comment about the men using women to have sex with out of some dislike with them (the women) and that these men are just a 'milimetre higher on the morality scale than a rapist' is the most offensive thing I have ever read on mumsnet.
You are, of course, free to say it- but how you can think that a person such as this is just a mere notch up from a rapist is beyond me.

Sorry, rape is an absolutely disgusting thing, and while I do not particularly think highly of men who have sex with women out of some dislike of them, at least the women are co-operating and willing. Which, by definition, is NEVER the case with rape.

DuelingFanjo · 03/12/2010 20:57

exactly marantha. well said.

Mick Hucknall's position maybe gave him more chance of having sex with lots of women but those women were willing.

A friend of mine slept with a very well know 90's band member. No doubt he slept with hundreds of other women too. She was not taken advantage of, she was a willing participant. Though for many years afterwards she did have a fantasy about how she was special to him which was clearly not true, he didn't do anything to make her think this - it was/is all in her own mind.

LeninGrad · 03/12/2010 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WilfShelf · 03/12/2010 21:35

Haha, len we're gonna bring a femmo thread into disrepute.

Manchester (where else?), circa 1986-1989 (I dunno). Christmas Eve or maybe New Year, the International Club, where he was playing. Stopped me in the corridor and basically wouldn't let me past. I was a bit of a fox back then. But femmo enough to sniff out desperation.

Joan Armatrading: heh heh. we are OLD.

LeninGrad · 03/12/2010 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iTigress · 04/12/2010 00:00

Marantha - sorry if my post hit a wrong note - 'the most offensive thing I have ever read on mumsnet' though, really? This is a lighthearted thread, and tbh I don't want to get into a debate, but I'll try to explain why I personally feel that way (as you remind me I have a right to)!

I think men are in such a position of power sexually that there are sexual grey areas, eg in the case of statutory rape, where the female has technically agreed but it's still legally 'rape' as she (in theory) doesn't have full understanding of the man's intent. If you think you're allowing a man intimate access to you in a trusting situation and he's actually taking advantage of you and has manipulated you into sleeping with him, it becomes something more sinister. I suppose a more obvious example is a woman plied with drink, who has consensual sex she bitterly regrets in the morning.

This kind of man has no interest in whether his partner wants to have sex with him or not. The difference between him and a rapist is hat he doesn't use violence to get it. I'm not saying it's rape, I'm saying it's a step below and is gross and horrible.

I

Sakura · 04/12/2010 01:10

I snorted out my tea @ "But bloody hell Mick H is a child frightener. Imagine snogging that gargoyle"
There are a few prominent ginger men I fancy, ex was ginger, so I'm not anti ginger, but I agree with this verdict.

It's the whole gatekeeping idea isn't it. Women gatekeep sex, and have to give it up to men. They don'T have inner lives of their own. What has he done wrong that he thinks he needs to apologize for?

Sakura · 04/12/2010 01:21

I agre with you ITigress
There are some men who get turned off when they sense that their partner is turned on during sex. Abusive hUsbands do that, sometimes, definitely punters who use prostitutes. Not allowing women pleasure is sometimes a goal for men.
Yes, the woman is complicit, but it's horribly woman-hating. ANd ususally she has been ground down. Not a far cry from rape at all.

Tortington · 04/12/2010 01:26

ANYONE who has ever lived or worked in manchester, knows Mick Hucknall is an arrogant tosser

Trop · 04/12/2010 01:47

Not read the whole thread.

The only reason he is apologising is to remind people that he once had a career as he probably has an album coming out or a 'best of' for christmas.

The man has always revolted me. He just wants column inches.

Fuckwit.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 04/12/2010 10:24

Yes, custy

bintofbohemia · 04/12/2010 14:59

Right. I was talking about this with a friend of mine last night (we're all from/in Manchester) and she knows a girl who knows a girl who pooed on MH. Apparently.

I'm not sure if he was into that kind of thing, or if it was because he cracked onto her and then passed out. The details are a little sketchy but why let that ruin a good story? Grin

HerBeatitude · 04/12/2010 15:16

I'm quite interested in Marantha's extreme reaction to ITigress's post actually.

It's like it's really offensive to put rape on a continuum of oppressive sexual behaviour - like rape and rapists are totally "the other", totally different from other forms of sexual oppression/ oppressors.

Is it? Surely it's just part of a larger picture of how sexual relations are conducted or represented as being conducted - look at that mainstream advertisement recently, for the product which escapes me (so it wasn't that good an ad) which had as its storyline a woman being tricked into having sex with someone she wouldn't otherwise have had sex with at that particular time. What is that if it's not predatory behaviour and that's presented as if it's a bit of a larf. Rape occurs in a climate in which men are represented as getting one over on women if women sleep with them. Mick Hucknall may be tapping into that cultural assumption.

And also, immediately she started talking about the women having consented, immediately shifting the debate on to women consenting to be used badly, rather than on why men would want to use them badly. Interesting.

marantha · 04/12/2010 19:05

What are you on about HerBeatitude?
See the difference is this:
Women consenting to sex (even if it is with a man who may not like her)=ACCEPTABLE to society, the law and anybody with an ounce of common sense.

Women being forced into sex =UNACCEPTABLE to society, the law and anybody with an ounce of common sense.

Jaysus, why is this worthy of further comment? Confused

If women want to be used by a lothario, it is their choice. Not mine. The only time I feel it is for others to intervene is if there is force.
Perhaps, HerBeatitude, you think women are incapable of making up their minds properly about who they sleep with and thus be chaperoned when meeting a gentleman? After all, they can't possibly make up their own minds, can they? Hmm

marantha · 04/12/2010 19:12

iTigress. 'Woman plied with drink'. .
This is terrible. I think that no woman should ever, ever go out by herself again.
Their little minds obviously cannot obviously refuse a kind gentleman's offer of drink- for they are far, far too polite to say no and would not like to give offence-and are obviously at risk of being taken advantage of by a bounder.
From now on all unmarried women should be chaperoned when taking part in social interaction (s).

HerBeatitude · 04/12/2010 19:13

No I thnk you're missing my point Marantha.

I'm focusing on men's behaviour. You prefer to focus on women's.

HerBeatitude · 04/12/2010 19:16

And also, women being forced into sex isn't unacceptable in our society.

On the contrary, it's quite common and accepted. Especially where there is a pre-existing sexual relationship between the woman who is forced, and the man who is forcing.

Most rapes go unreported, precisely because it's so acceptable. Of the ones which do get reported, 96% do not end in a rape conviction, because it's not unacceptable.

How nice it would be if forcing women to ahve sex they didn't want, were indeed as outrageous and unacceptable as you suggest.

HerBeatitude · 04/12/2010 19:19

Sorry that should say 94%.

Sakura · 05/12/2010 02:24

HB I think you've nailed it with this:
" Rape occurs in a climate in which men are represented as getting one over on women if women sleep with them. Mick Hucknall may be tapping into that cultural assumption. "