The demonisation of single mothers.

[SantaIsAnAnagramOfSatan]

Hi,

I've ended up talking about this in various threads but have never dedicated a thread to it.

So, i'm looking for your thoughts. How do we see this in action? What are the views of single mothers? How are they propagated? Why are they propagated and why do they attract such demonisation?

I'd also like to hear about where you think the feminist vision saw single mothers, did it predict their would be more given the increased freedom women would have in their lives and their ability to leave male partners or choose to not have one without being financially or socially (though that hasn't held true entirely compared to 1960's it's at least possible to live this way) ruined?

Is women being able to have children alone a part of the feminist outcome - if women have more control over their bodies and reproduction surely it was an inevitable outcome? And is it in your mind a positive or negative thing in terms of feminism?

I'm actually going away for a few days now but hope this will attract lots of thoughts for me to read when i get back.

As for me, to put this in context, i am a single mother of a pre school boy. When i found out i was pregnant (unplanned) at 30 i decided that i was happy to be and wanted to keep the baby but that i didn't want to stay in the problematic relationship with the father. Therefore i've been a single parent from the outset.

I have framed this as about single mothers rather than single parents as it is my experience that single fathers are seen very differently, imo as heroes and glorified whereas single mothers get the demonisation treatment in popular culture.

Look forward to reading your thoughts.

sorry pushka but people do tend to question and contextualise people's post - it isn't done to be offensive it's just what discussion looks like.

i don't think anyone was trying to twist what you said but to challenge where they saw the problems with the point of view you expressed in the context of what society is like and what choices are and are not available to women.

did you read what i wrote to you?

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Haven't read the whole thread but I agree with @Sakura's first post.

Single mums, especially happy single mums, do represent a threat to patriarchy.

I'm a single mum, studying & working two jobs I like, and have enough funds for small disposable income (although I would still be classed as low earning) and have a small home. I'm insanely busy and tired but I've never been happier. I feel totally independent but I have my own family, as well as being intellectually fulfilled. If I date again one day it will purely based on the person, rather than a judgement on how good a father or provider they could be - it won't be because I need them, for a family, finances or fulfilment. I feel this is genuinely empowering.

The main problem single mums face is financial issues I think. Decent welfare provision for children and universal free childcare should be at the centre of any feminist movement.

This thread is 9 years old

What’s with all the zombie reanimating today??

Although it’s nice to see SGB posting actual feminism about actual women back in the day

crap sorry

What gets me is that for every single mother out there, there is a single (ok sometimes they may have married or gotten into a relationship) father. Not living with your kids doesn’t suddenly mean you aren’t a parent. Yet those single fathers, 9/10 times are doing far less to support and raise their kids than the mother is. So why is she demonised, whilst we pretend that he doesn’t even exist?

So why is she demonised, whilst we pretend that he doesn’t even exist?

In a word, misogyny.
The glue that binds the patriarchy.

It feels like now less people in society use religion as a basis for slating single mothers, that the massive commercialisation of so many aspects of our lives has taken up the cudgels instead. So I think some of the stigma against single mothers, is because women parenting alone tend (not all) to have relatively less income coming in to support their family compared to single fathers or couples parenting together. This can then be read across into all sorts of other prejudices about class, money, sex, race, you name it.

Pearl clutching. Comment was entirely within the guidelines.