Rape within marriage

[tabouleh]

Yes unashamedly a thread about a thread.

It is like entering the bloody twilight zone over there.

Jeez there are MNers basically caring more about OP's husbands right to sex rather than believing OP and helping her.

Totally understand if this gets deleted for being a thread about a thread - but if it gets more of the feminist viewpoints onto that thread then great.

SGM Looked it up. The max penalty for sexual assault by penetration is life imprisonment

If that happened to me, I think I would call it rape.

I realise that looks ambiguous....too much to say but not enough energy to say it.
Was also going to say that Dittany doesn't strike me as abrasive, but then she came back and admitted partial abrasiveness...

SassySusan I know where Dittany is coming from re academic feminism and I don't understand why you're making it personal; I am naturally academically inclined (used to be a lecturer till recently, though not in anything to do with feminism) and I tried for a long time to be interested in academic feminism and didn't, in general, find it nearly as inspirational or as telling as feminist writings from outside the academy.
I often found work which used feminist thinking to critique other areas of scholarship was often very effective and engaging but generally this was the stuff using quite 'second wavey' feminist thinking.
More recently, where people try to advance feminist theory, I tend to find it unconvincing and overtheoretical. My interest now in academic feminist writing is more as a basis for political action and I don't think recent academic feminism stands up very well in this respect, tbh.
I would love to talk more about this but have absolutely got to go to bed - maybe another day if anyone else is interested in discussing.

It looks to me that there will be no proper apologies to Anchor.

here

post thread

I take it you only want lurkers then.....

I may well have scared off lurkers.

I think I have no place in this section.

sleepypjs I am very tired my post may have made no sense - I know that there will be a lot of lurkers here - I just wanted to highlight to people that there is a nice "safe" thread which was created for people to introduce themselves and say why they are interested in the Feminism topic - all welcome posters and lurkers!

Dittany, I agree - it is apparent to me that lots of posters do not engage with what some women go through, let along academics.

I have made my points clumsily but I simply can not stand it - the compromises, compliance, justification of rape, while not offering any analysis as to the rapist.

Anchor - I really wish you every help.

Let's make the end of the thread about Anchor?

Anchor I have contacted MNHQ about a place to discuss rape which would not involve the "debate"/questioning but which would be for support - that wom't help in the meantime though.

If you feel that your own thread in relationships would help then please start one. Not all such thread have gone like the original one and this one.

If you'd like any of us to start one then please try the "Contact poster" button in then name headers.

Lots of us have offered for you to contact us off board.

Oh sleepypjs I was going to come back tomorrow to apologise to Anchor but your emoticon has made me do it now- damn that little purple-sadfaced thing.

If Anchor is reading,
I am sorry. If your husband penentrated you without your consent he should not have done so. You are 100% right to be upset about it.
I should have said this from the beginning (I've always believed it, just got caught up in the whole what rape is/isn't business- couldn't see wood from trees).

I don't know the way forward for you, maybe others can help, but nevertheless am sorry if I failed to acknowledge your distress.
Good luck.

I am going to go, I can not properly engage on a feminist section on mumsnet.

I feel really isolated, I can not put up with sexist language anymore, or the degrading of women.

I am really really pissed off with this thread.

It has really really upset me. It has made me sick.

God knows how upset I would be if I did not have great real life support.

I am really so pissed off that in 2010 people who have been raped are having to go through such appalling treatment, that people who have been raped are having nightmares about it.

And by engaging in it, well then you will just erode your self esteem.

Does anybody know if the planned cirriculum topics dealing with abuse and gender equality are still going ahead? To my mind, that's the most positive move since the legal reforms of the Seventies.

Some of my nieces & nephews have already been taught these principles, but not all of them.

That last post sounded all about me, I am sorry.

Anchor - I really hope you get all the help you deserve... and thank you Sparky for sharing your insight.

Grace good question - how about coming over to thread with it?