AIBU or AINBU, that is the question

[KateSMumsnet]

Zounds! It is Shakespeare Week, apparently.

To celebrate, we happy few, we band of brothers* thought we'd ask you clever folk to put on an antic disposition and post as if the cast of Shakespeare's plays had access to Mumsnet, similar to the classic Biblical Mumsnet thread

For example:

• SPORN - Out, out damned spot!

• DH has become really obsessed about an old handkerchief he gave me, is this a red flag?

• Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have to use tutors....

The three posts that tickle MNHQ the most will be bound for a prize all too precious (or whatever we can find in the cupboard).

So if MN be the food of love, post on....

• If you thought we wouldn't take this opportunity to shoehorn in and abuse Shakespearean quotes in for no good reason, you thought wrong.

GHOST : 'I am thy father’s spirit,
Doomed for a certain term to walk the night'

HAMLET: 'That's a bit woo Dad'

AIBU?

YABU Thou hast the most unsavoury similes.

Is this a dagger which I see before me?

Even if its not,call the police and get it logged.

He hath disgrac'd me and hind'red me half a million; laugh'd at my losses, mock'd at my gains, scorned my nation, thwarted my bargains, cooled my friends, heated my enemies. And what's his reason? IABU.

My PFB's eyes are nothing like the sun...

should I call our GP?

Friends Romans Mumsnetters lend me your OK magazines
I come to bury Peder, not praise him

I think Errol wins the thread :)

My fruit salad days when I was Orange in judgement ;-)

Beware the hello magazine of March

Neither a borrower nor a lender be ...you'll never get those baby things back

He hath eaten me out of house and home...tell him to pay up the cocklodger

Brevity is the soul of

The toddler doth protest too much, methinks!

Exit, pursued by a cutted - up pear - Inertia

2b or not 2b? What do these National Curriculum levels mean? - ErrolTheDragon

Brilliant.

Flouncers corner: I do desire that we may be better strangers

A DH/DP/MIL/FIL et al may smile, and smile, and be a villain—
At least I am sure it may be so in Mumsnet.

Or rather

A DH/DP/MIL/FIL et al may smile, and smile, and be a villain—
At least I am sure it may be so on Mumsnet.

Food and Drink: I had some unusual pie last night at Titus's house - anyone got the recipe?

NeedsAsock

I'll put a girdle round about the earth in forty minutes; getting into my spanx may take longer.
You spotted snakes with double tongue: the playground mafia?
Ill-met by moonlight , proud Titania; leave the landing light on when you breast-feed.

I am not bound to please thee with my answer.

So, whether you like it or not, you are being unreasonable.

Hamlet: Alas, poor Yorick!

MN: It is an unfortunate name, but it could be worse - it could be hyphenated! There's a child in my DD's class called Gracie-Faye

Lady Macbeth: So I said to DH "Glamis thou art, and Cawdor; and shalt be what thou art promised. Yet do I fear thy nature; It is too full o' th' milk of human kindness to catch the nearest way: thou wouldst be great, art not without ambition, but without the illness should attend it"

AIBU to expect him to murder our King so that he can take the throne and I can become Queen?

MN: Of course YABU. The Monarchy are an outdated institution and we resent paying taxes for their upkeep. Maybe consider getting a job?

*

OP: DH and I going to start ttc next year. I saw my DBro and SIL last night and she told me that they are ttc! I think she is doing it on purpose so she gets to have the first grandchild. AIBU to cut her out of my life?

King Lear: YANBU! How dare they. Hear, nature, hear; dear goddess, hear! Suspend thy purpose, if thou didst intend to make this creature fruitful! Into her womb convey sterility! Dry up in her the organs of increase; and from her derogate body never spring a babe to honour her! If she must teem, create her child of spleen; that it may live, and be a thwart disnatured torment to her! Let it stamp wrinkles in her brow of youth; With cadent tears fret channels in her cheeks; Turn all her mother's pains and benefits to laughter and contempt.

I have of late, and wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth.

But then I read the 'I pooed on my skirt at work today' thread.

"Who is here so vile that will not love Mumsnet? If any, speak, for they are professionally offended." - Julius Caesar

"By the Lord, a buck-basket! Ramm'd me in with foul shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings, greasy napkins, that, Master Brook, there was the rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril." - Merry Wives
WIBU to make DS do his own laundry?

MNHQ: Message deleted as it contained a personal attack.
Poster: "All offences, MN, come from the heart; never came any from mine that might offend your Majesty!" - Henry V

One MN Woolly Hug makes the whole world kin

Peace, ye fat-balled rascal! what a brawling dost thou keep!

Shall I compare thee to a summers day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate
And you don't need sunscreen
When typing into MN