AIBU or AINBU, that is the question

[KateSMumsnet]

Zounds! It is Shakespeare Week, apparently.

To celebrate, we happy few, we band of brothers* thought we'd ask you clever folk to put on an antic disposition and post as if the cast of Shakespeare's plays had access to Mumsnet, similar to the classic Biblical Mumsnet thread

For example:

• SPORN - Out, out damned spot!

• DH has become really obsessed about an old handkerchief he gave me, is this a red flag?

• Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have to use tutors....

The three posts that tickle MNHQ the most will be bound for a prize all too precious (or whatever we can find in the cupboard).

So if MN be the food of love, post on....

• If you thought we wouldn't take this opportunity to shoehorn in and abuse Shakespearean quotes in for no good reason, you thought wrong.

Weight Loss Chat : My friend Shylock says he knows of a way I can instantly loose 1lb. Is this possible?

Exit, pursued by a cutted - up pear.

Give me a beaker of penis.
In this I bury all unkindness

I would challenge you to a battle of wits
But I see you are a viper mumsnetter

'I'll put a girdle round the earth in 40 minutes'

MNV : 'Girdles are so last year' !

Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of AIBU,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of vipers,
And by drip feeding end them?

Inertia

What’s in a namechange? That which we call AnyFucker/ by any other name would still know exactly when to leave the bastard.

Can I feed a child chipolata as weekly lunch box treat? Sausages massively improve children's day to day studying time, though in London they all see sausages not as helpful?

Hell hath no fury like a mumsnetter doling out

Parenting: "Does anyone know how to wash my hands of this guilt?" [posted by LadyMacbethtrulyreigns]

Tell me, where is fancy bread?

If you don't have an artisanal baker nearby, Booths aisle 3 is your best bet.

You speak an infinite deal of nothing

_Chat

'Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! rage! blow! You cataracts and hurricanoes, spout Till you have drench'd our steeples, drown'd the cocks! You sulphurous and thought-executing fires, Vaunt-couriers to oak-cleaving thunderbolts...'

OK, OYBBK, thanks for the weather alert...

Oh these are just brilliant.

What light thru yonder window breaks?

Tis but a great big fecking outside light that is in no way BU

plays ye old Shakespearian harp

Doghouse: what breed do you recommend?

Bulldogs are adorable, with faces like toads that have been sat on (Midsummer Night's Dream)

By that gin fell the angels.

2b or not 2b? What do these National Curriculum levels mean?

Errol .

Romeo-Blue and Juliet-Mae ?

The funeral baked meats
Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables.

And there was a grabby poem in the invitation.

And it was child free.

Is this a judgy pants I see before me,
The elastic pulled toward my armpits? Come, let that crutch free

Out, out, damn

Well, if Fortune be a woman, mn is a very rich place.