AIBU or AINBU, that is the question

[KateSMumsnet]

Zounds! It is Shakespeare Week, apparently.

To celebrate, we happy few, we band of brothers* thought we'd ask you clever folk to put on an antic disposition and post as if the cast of Shakespeare's plays had access to Mumsnet, similar to the classic Biblical Mumsnet thread

For example:

• SPORN - Out, out damned spot!

• DH has become really obsessed about an old handkerchief he gave me, is this a red flag?

• Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have to use tutors....

The three posts that tickle MNHQ the most will be bound for a prize all too precious (or whatever we can find in the cupboard).

So if MN be the food of love, post on....

• If you thought we wouldn't take this opportunity to shoehorn in and abuse Shakespearean quotes in for no good reason, you thought wrong.

In a false quarrel there is no true valour unless it's on Facebook

To sleep perchance to dream. Oh, to sleep. Please, I want one decent night of sleep.

Goodnight, goodnight, parting is such sweet sorrow , so I shall log off now until it be the morrow

to be unreasonable, or not to be unreasonable

I will try to come up with something better tomorrow...

Poas, poor Yorick

Now is the winter of this discontent
Made glorious summer by this scarf I bought
And all the netmums that lour'd upon upon our rage
In the deep bosom of AIBU buried.
Now are our charms discussed for monument,
And our stern YABUs changed to merry meetings,
Our dreadful MILs to delightful bumsex.
Grim visag'd HQ have smoothed their wrinkled brows,
And now, instead of handing out banishments,
They caper nimbly in the gin-makers chambers,
To the befuddled pleasing of a lute.
But I - I that am not shaped for Friday night tricks,
Nor made to sport a school run frock,
I that am a late night lurker, and want MN royalty
To strut about in relationships,
I, that am curtailed by late night updates,
Cheated of mumsnet by dissembling internet,
Unposted, Unanswered, sent beyond your time
Into the late night world, scarce hardly made up,
And that so lamely and unfashionable
That Style and Beauty smirk at me as I lurk by them.
Why I, in this weak late night time of peace -
Have no 'active convos' to pass away the time,
Unless I spy some unanswered threads
And descant on mine own unpopularity.
And therefore, since I cannot prove to be Royalty,
To entertain these fair well spoken days
I am determined to be a villain,
And hate the Idle pleasures of this place.
Plots have I laid, viruses dangerous,
By drunken threads, libels and dreams,
To set She Who Must Not Be Named and MNHQ
In deadly hate the one against the other
And IF MNHQ be as true and just
As I am subtle, false and treacherous,
Today shall 'G' closely be mew'd up
About a prophecy which says that 'G'
The downfall of MNHQ shall be.

I have work to do, but I think I could probably squeeze a five act play out of this one.

A Friday night thread posted on mumsnet,
Asked how can I tell if he's come yet?
"Stick your thumb up his arse,
this also shall pass"
Like the Great Bard we do poetry and bumsex.

Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
Has anyone got a good conspiracy theory?

Is this a line I see before me? ... Or art though but a line of the mind, a false creation, proceeding from the ttc-obsessed brain?

Style and beauty: God has given you one face, and you make yourself another

General :The course of true love never did run smooth. LTB

Geeky stuff: As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. Or try the Samsung Galaxy it's easier to use

Romeo Romeo where for art thy Romeo.

To be honest he sounds a bit unreliable if you're have to ask where he is? is he normally like this? Do you get on with your PILs?

I know this sounds a bit woo but I Swear that those trees out back are getting closer

Goneril, Regan, or Cordelia for a girl??

We do advise all our members to be aware that not everyone in Cyprus is who they say they are.

Although we're awed daily by the astonishing support the members of the Venetian army give each other through life's trickier twists and possible infidelities, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to an ensign, emotionally or financially (put money in thy purse), than they can afford to spare.

We'd also like to remind folks looking at you Iago that misleading or deliberately inflammatory behaviour is against our talk guidelines.

If you have any suspicions, please do report them to us, rather than letting the green eyed monster, that doth mock the meat it feeds on, take over the thread.

AIBU I still take advice from my DWN (Darling Wet Nurse) and she's suggested bigamy as a solution to murderer DH's banishment. WARNING LONG POST.

Now cracks a noble heart. Good night sweet prince.

Thou do love my children morest than when they are unconscious

Fin

Relationships: Considering leaving DH for a donkey headed moron. Any positive stories/experiences?

“Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt We love benedict cumberbatch

My salad days
When I was green of beaker
And cold with dunk

I like this place (Mumsnet) and could willingly waste my time in it (and often do!)

But if that DP with OW's base infection meet,
The basest weed outbraves his dignity:
For sweetest things turn sourest by their deeds;
DPs that fester smell far worse than weeds

I am not bound to please thee with my answer

The new phrase for AIBU

squizita didn't you have an earlier thread about adopting a child from India? I remember you got a bit of grief for being a bit hazy about the adoption process - weren't some posters concerned that you hadn't gone through the correct channels?

How is your DH with the whole thing now?

Travel:

Is Ephesus always this weird about visitors? My servant and I are visiting from Syracuse, and we've had nothing but one bizarre experience after another (my servant has also become extremely insubordinate).

IMO the city is full of witchcraft. I'm thinking of leaving a strongly worded review on TripAdvisor.

Weather:

Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this sun of York, and all the clouds that lour'd upon our house, in the deep bosom of the ocean buried.