AIBU or AINBU, that is the question

[KateSMumsnet]

Zounds! It is Shakespeare Week, apparently.

To celebrate, we happy few, we band of brothers* thought we'd ask you clever folk to put on an antic disposition and post as if the cast of Shakespeare's plays had access to Mumsnet, similar to the classic Biblical Mumsnet thread

For example:

• SPORN - Out, out damned spot!
  

• DH has become really obsessed about an old handkerchief he gave me, is this a red flag?
  

• Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have to use tutors....
  

The three posts that tickle MNHQ the most will be bound for a prize all too precious (or whatever we can find in the cupboard).

So if MN be the food of love, post on....

* If you thought we wouldn't take this opportunity to shoehorn in and abuse Shakespearean quotes in for no good reason, you thought wrong.

[DorisAllTheDay]

If music be the food of love is it allowable on low-carb bootcamp? How much of it can I have if I'm on a 5:2 fast day?

[DorisAllTheDay]

Against my better judgement I agreed to lend some money - a large sum of money - to a business acquaintance. This guy has racially abused me in the past (he's loudly and proudly anti-semitic), and he's also undercut me and taken business away from me, but somehow he and his friends talked me into the loan. I said, as a sort-of joke, that if he couldn't pay me back on the date we agreed, I could collect a pound of his flesh. Surprise, surprise, the day came and went, and no repayment. WIBU to insist that I should have my pound of flesh?

[thinking101]

"God has given you one face, and you make yourself another"

[thinking101]

"Words without thoughts never to heaven go"

for - 'just words on a screen'

[squishysquirmy]

I am worried about my ds: Ever since he returned to Denmark from uni he has become increasingly resentful towards my dp and spends most of his time talking to himself.

[thinking101]

"I am not bound to please thee with my answer"

• 'yet again the OP has hundreds of posts but refuses to accept what people are telling her'
  

YABU
YANBU
LTB

[Booboobedoo]

Age cannot wither her , nor custom stale her infinite variety.

MN in a nutshell.

[PoppadomPreach]

Rude am I in my speech, And little blessed with the soft phrase of peace. I feel at home in AIBU.

[Redirected]

"And this, our life, displayed in public haunt, finds tongue in threads, fire stirred in fierce debate, sermon in HQ tones, and in everything"

[ScrambledSmegs]

Despair thy charm, And let the angel whom thou still hast served
Tell thee, Macduff was from his mother’s womb
Untimely ripped.

And then the Bounty rep walked in on her waving a camera when she was trying to breastfeed...

[bopoityboo3]

'out damn spot! out I say' does anyone have a good tip for getting grass stains out of DC's school clothes?

[bopoityboo3]

'I have given suck and know how tender
'tis to love the baby that milks me- I would,
while it was smiling in my face, have pluck'd
my nipple from his boneless gums and squirte'd
the ignorant prude who does complaineth
full in the face with my milk'

[ExitPursuedByABear]

Do I need to say anything?

[KateSMumsnet]

Reddit is empty, and all the trolls are here.

(though obviously I'm using hyperbole as there are NO TROLLS ON MY WATCH)

[raspberryshake]

If we breastfeeders have offended, think but this and all is mended; that you have but slumbered here, while these boobies did appear...

[Redirected]

Hmm - methinks that London powers political, and administrative, could have got their act together enough to make their week coincide with the national event. Doh.

City of London Shakespeare Week 22-25 APRIL

[MummytoMog]

AIBU to ask this woman to stop her biting child? I pointed out that from forth the kennel of her womb hath crept a hell-hound that doth hunt us all to death. She just called him a toad and asked what he'd done to his brother before suggesting she should have strangled him in her accursed womb. I may need to find another country playgroup.

[IceBeing]

"When we have shuffled of this mortal coil...presumably we should go back on the pill?"

[squishysquirmy]

Shall I compare my pfb to all other pfbs?
Mine is more lovely and more temparate.

[GarlicMarchHare]

These are brilliant Mumsnet, Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting; it is a most sharp sauce.

[beanandspud]

Style and Beauty: Are we still wearing tunics this season? What should I wear instead of tights now that the weather is turning warmer? [posted by forpuckssake]

[MooseyMoo]

Love is a smoke made with the fume of (yoni) sighs

[Scarletohello]

To leave or not to leave ( the bastard ), that is the question...

[Innogen]

There are more things in heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your baby names list.

[Inertia]

Naice Hamlet.