NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS BEING SLIM FEELS

[VoulezVouzCrochezAvecJACK]

Sorry. I think I killed the last one.

I have done 100 sit ups in penance.
Please forgive me.

I am Jack
Jack is fat
But not much longer

Was 17 4
Now 16 1

As you were.

Oh congrats champagne!

No idea for dresses. I have been to shop, made lunch for girls. I bought a roti chicken and stripped it so I have snacking food and am having grapes AND STRAWBERRIES WITH crispbreads with brie (yeash yeah) and mackerel on.
Hav renewed tax credits and gone oevrdrawn as my credit card was refused (on DH's account so I can't vene ask why. and we paid it off completely last week, grrr)
Can I go back to bed now?

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh, like that orange dress. and the green.

now. tell me. i am appley. can i wear a belted dress that's not a wrap?

Yes you can, appley or not. How is your tum? The green one might emphasise any bumps and lumps, but the orange pattern would hide them beautifully. If you've got curves then show them off.

Get both, you can always send one back.

Off you pop back to bed Jack.

i do like the orange one, although i wouldn't tie the tie right at the sticky outiest bit of my gut the way that they have... i don't really have curves, though, am a classic apple in that regard, but have good shoulders, tits, (no) arse and great legs to compensate. i think the orange pattern, however, might create a fake shape. i wear dvf dresses a lot as her patterns do the same, but i'm not liking her stuff at the mo (at least the stuff that's on ebay, lol).

Yes - use good underwear and you can def wear that Aitch.

Jack - what a grrr morning. Get on the sofa with a duvet and watch good movies with teh girls for the rest of today.

ROFL at russel brand wearing su's jacket

Thanks all
Best of luck with THE ZONE

How can I tell if I've got nits?

Apart from the itching?

Jeez have my nits gone all the way from Kenya to UK? They must be super nits.

You need a nit comb and conditioner on yer head. Conditioner on then comb it through and you may see some tiny blighters when you wipe the comb on something white. Saying that they are pretty difficult to see. Either that or ask a particularly good friend to have a look for you.

would shaking my head over black paper work? would the wrigglers fall out?

I ahve ben scratching all day

urgh

Worth a try.

Jack I've found you a 20 quid dress. I've been looking at dresses all day, can you tell, eh eh eh?

not useful or work but condition, comb, then dunk comb in pint glass of water and watch the little buggers drown.

oh my god thank GODI lost weight
have got clothese out of loft ( hence cat incident)
and they fit
are NOT super loose

oh pissflaps, i think this is rather darling but they don't have it in my size... however if anyone is a 12... v cute

Another nitter? Shiney has snogging and cocks and we have lice.

like this too and good price but not for a wedding

Shaking your head won't work, they cling.

actually it's white in the back so ignore

Ooh my eyes have done all funny at that Oasis dress Aitch!

I liked that orangey vibrant one that Dinky linked too. Very nice.

Would avoid Monsoon - read somewhere on here maybe - that someone went to a wedding recently and 3 guests were wearing the same Monsoon dress.

That Oasis one on the model on Asos website doesn't look so good.

Since none of you biffers are commenting on my dress thread I am thinking of this one?

Oh I liek that tmam, what sort of delivery speed are asos though?

I am steaming angry. Went up for a npa about half 3 and told DH to wake DD2 after an hour or she wouldn't sleep tonight.
Bear in mind tea is at 5 and bedtime half 6 to 7.
Was woken by DD1 at quarter to 6 announcing that the xbox has seized and could I fix it, and btw she was a bit hungry and when was tea?
DH was asleep and she had been on simpsons game on xbox for nearly 2 hours. DD2 was still asleep and thus refused any of the tea I cooked for them (luckily fresh pasta) and icecream as a treat.
DH is now moping around saying 'i don't feel well'.
He is NOT getting any sympathy off me. Am so cross I cant even go for a fricking NAP.

PLUS he had to transfer 60 quid into my account to stop me getting overdraft charges from bastard tesco card, rang them and i have to go to a cashpoint to unlock it, but they can't tell me why it was locked, and I NEVER put in the wrong pin, but upshot is that was money put aside for my birthday rpesents and going out. So we can't afford to go out now.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

Oh Jack. What a bummer. I am sorry. I would complain to Tesco.

DH was saying should have left the shopping in asda until we sorted the card until I explined
The checkout bitch was smirking
There was a queue
I had no food in the house byond milk and bread, no fruit or veg
My temp by the time I got home was over 38 so I was not with it
Both dd's were whinging.

OPf cou0rse i shoved my debit card at them!

JAck - that is crap. Definitely complain. The feckers.

TMAM - I do believe I actually referred you to Asos on your dresses thread. Harrumph.