Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Original poster

Comment by woman in charity shop

198 replies

HunderBoff · 04/09/2025 12:42

I went in a charity shop and found a dress I liked. It was on a 'S' hanger but had no price tag on it.

I took it to the till and asked the lady how much it was as it didn't have a tag, she was an older lady so I don't think she heard me as she searched the dress for the (well hidden) manufacturer label and asked me to read it.
I was confused but thought whe wanted to know the brand to price it up. I said 'zara basics, small'

She replied 'its a small then'
I said ' yes I know its a small- the hanger sai- I was asking how much it was as there is no price label'

She said a fiver and I said I would have it.

But then she said 'would you like to try it on?'
I said no as i have plenty of zara dresses in a size small.

And she reached up- pulled her glasses to the end of her nose, looked my up and down (seriously!!) And said 'are you sure you don't want to try it on?'

I was so upset.

Ive lost 8 stone!

I weight 9 stone! And I'm still getting people looking at me like that and making me feel shit about my body :(

I walked out but my husband still bought the dress (which fit perfectly btw!)

I just feel so upset as I thought I was over feeling that way, feeling like other people think im 'big'

I feel it was so rude of her?!

OP posts:
Bavariamaria · 04/09/2025 12:43

She was a cow and ignorant. I wish I'd lost 8 stone. Well done.

Brownhairdontcare · 04/09/2025 12:44

Maybe she was bring rude. Maybe she was being polite, and wanted to make sure you were definitely happy with it? Honestly, don't overthink it. Congratulations on your weight loss, that is seriously impressive xx

TenderChicken · 04/09/2025 12:45

Super rude. I would have walked out as well.

OSTMusTisNT · 04/09/2025 12:50

She might be a nasty cow.

Or, she maybe has had a run of people trying to return stuff that doesn't fit and struggles to put refunds through the till and that stresses her out.

Who knows, don't give her anymore headspace.

Original poster
HunderBoff · 04/09/2025 12:53

But she didnt even know it was for me. I have a 16yo daughter who i buy size 6 yeans for regularly.

I just don't think sne should be commenting at all. And she really did pull her glasses down and do a full up and down body scan of me before asking again :(

OP posts:
MyMilchick · 04/09/2025 12:55

Very rude, asking if you wanted to try it on, no problem but the part after that rude as hell

Mysticmaiden · 04/09/2025 13:03

Probably pure jealousy. Don't give her any more of your time and energy.

Lafufufu · 04/09/2025 13:09

Honestly i am starting to think its a "charity shop women" thing.

I had similar but bizarrely with a childrens toy.
I was mocked and questioned about whether it was for my baby (it was) and then told they were too young for it and how ridiculous i was, while being eyeballed and given a head tilt....

For whatever reason I still bought it (it was very nice) but then I ended up putting it in a bin on the way home as it just made me angry to look at - I was so upset and angry at the way she'd spoken to me.

Couple of my friends have similar stories...its so weird. I do not get it!!
why cant they just say " ooooh isnt that lovely - what a bargain! hope you enjoy it!"
😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Your weightloss is incredible btw.

spoonbillstretford · 04/09/2025 13:20

Lots of people who help out in charity shops are rather socially awkward, I wouldn't worry about it.

Or perhaps she knows Zara sizing can be a bit weird.

StrongerFitter · 04/09/2025 13:24

How do you know she didn’t think it might be too big for you?
don’t overthink comments from strangers and you’ll find yourself feeling much happier

Wildfairy · 04/09/2025 13:27

God I abhhor it when women do this, a couple of decades ago , it still stands out in my mind, I bought a leather skirt in a small boutique, the older lady owner told me it was too small for me and to size up, it was midi and a line, so not a tight skirt, the way she did it, was so demeaning, so I actually did, i bought the bigger size, she kept telling me I simply wasn’t a 10/ 12 , I was a big 14/16 if not bigger, in her view and looked awful in the 12.. And I was so embarassed as she was so rude to me and adamant on basically just how fat I was, and I was still relatively young in my twenties. She was in her 60s.

I got it home and it was far too big, and was swivelling round me at the waist, as it was leather it was heavy, so the skirt just swivelled round as it was too big, so the more I thought about it the more I thought it wasn’t ok, and the skirt was unwearable, so I went back and simply said I want to return this, it’s too big and swivels round when I move, to be fair to her she nodded. And said I’m sorry, that was my fault, i knew it was far too big, I don’t know why I did that and felt terrible after you left. Which took the wind totally out my sails.

I swapped it for the smaller size, and never went back to that shop. I honestly think there is something wrong with these people.

Pigsinblankets13 · 04/09/2025 13:28

Charity shop volunteers tend to be a bit odd, but like librarians...try not to take it to heart. I'm sure you look fab in your new dress!

Catpiece · 04/09/2025 13:31

I’d have said forget it and left. Cunt

BigBirdOfPrey · 04/09/2025 13:31

Maybe she thought you looked smaller.
He actions are a reflection of her. Not you.

Congratulations on your weight loss x

edited to say:
I’d of asked her what she meant.

Growuppeople · 04/09/2025 13:50

😂 yeah ok and you stood there all shocked

TalkToTheHand123 · 04/09/2025 15:06

Go back in with the dress on and say "whew, dress fits!"

MumOf4totstoteens · 04/09/2025 18:09

Similar has happened to me before. Shop owner said it’s a small and it’s a small fit. I said I am small. I was at the time size 6-8 and it did fit soooo why do they say these things?! It’s like they don’t want people to buy the items lol 😂

slashlover · 04/09/2025 18:09

Why the hate for charity shop.workers?

theresnoonequitelikegrandma · 04/09/2025 18:16

I don’t think it’s just charity shops - some years ago after reaching my goal weight I tried on a dress in John Lewis that was a size 10 (and fitted me beautifully) and when I took it to the till the assistant looked at the label when folding it and said ‘Size 10? Well, this brand does come up big.’ Wtf?? I was mortified. Wish I’d said something but I just paid and scuttled off. Never liked that dress afterwards.

Original poster
HunderBoff · 04/09/2025 18:17

Growuppeople · 04/09/2025 13:50

😂 yeah ok and you stood there all shocked

Not sure what this implies? That this is made up? If I was going to make up a story it would be much more exciting than this 🤨

OP posts:
Gazelda · 04/09/2025 18:17

She was rude. I’m pleased your DH bought the dress and that you look fabulous in it.

however I’m extremely sad that this thread is turning into a charity shop bashing thread rather than one that’s supportive and uplifting to you. Workers in any shop, charity or otherwise, can be rude, patronising, insensitive, thoughtless, etc. There’s absolutely no need for op’s thread to be used as an opportunity to slate an unpaid voluntary workforce without whom we wouldn’t be able to get such treasures as this dress. And without whom countless charities would have afar reduced income and consequently be able to help fewer beneficiaries.

thats not to say that all charity shop workers are angels and should be revered. I’m simply wanting to point out that most are great and their value should be acknowledged just as much as those that are bad are criticised.

honeylulu · 04/09/2025 18:18

I reckon she felt embarrassed about mis hearing you about the price/size query. Why, I don't know but some people really hate making a mistake and get huffy about it, even if pointed out politely. So she was trying to make you feel inadequate in return. Maybe ...

Anyway congratulations on your amazing weight loss and I'm delighted your new dress is a great fit!

CeciliaDuckiePond · 04/09/2025 18:26

I don't understand this, if only because people don't just buy clothes for themselves, they buy for others, especially in charity shops; and also they buy to sell on Vinted/eBay etc. I often see people riffling through clothes that clearly aren't their size - too commonplace to be noteworthy. I'm not saying, of course, that the OP's dress was the wrong size, just that even if it had been, I'm surprised it should be mentioned.

Ellie1015 · 04/09/2025 18:27

Maybe she has been dealing with lots of refunds lately. Maybe she is rude. Either way it is not worth being upset over her.

Well done on the weight loss

Animatic · 04/09/2025 18:28

I don't think it was intentional as she clearly wouldn't have known how sensitive you feel on the subject of size and weight loss. I have never lost any weight and have been perpetual size 6 and if someone said that to me I would have looked at it as "are you reallt sure you don't want another cup of tea" question.