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Original poster

Comment by woman in charity shop

198 replies

HunderBoff · 04/09/2025 12:42

I went in a charity shop and found a dress I liked. It was on a 'S' hanger but had no price tag on it.

I took it to the till and asked the lady how much it was as it didn't have a tag, she was an older lady so I don't think she heard me as she searched the dress for the (well hidden) manufacturer label and asked me to read it.
I was confused but thought whe wanted to know the brand to price it up. I said 'zara basics, small'

She replied 'its a small then'
I said ' yes I know its a small- the hanger sai- I was asking how much it was as there is no price label'

She said a fiver and I said I would have it.

But then she said 'would you like to try it on?'
I said no as i have plenty of zara dresses in a size small.

And she reached up- pulled her glasses to the end of her nose, looked my up and down (seriously!!) And said 'are you sure you don't want to try it on?'

I was so upset.

Ive lost 8 stone!

I weight 9 stone! And I'm still getting people looking at me like that and making me feel shit about my body :(

I walked out but my husband still bought the dress (which fit perfectly btw!)

I just feel so upset as I thought I was over feeling that way, feeling like other people think im 'big'

I feel it was so rude of her?!

OP posts:
TalkToTheHand123 · 04/09/2025 20:22

They seem to be bitter from the number of tramps that go in a pinch. No real excuse though.

CinnamonJellyBeans · 04/09/2025 20:27

Older doesn't mean sweeter.

She was definitely trying to be nasty, but she would have said the same thing about the dress if you were 7 stone, just to make you feel bad.

You really shouldn't take it to heart.

GloriaMonday · 04/09/2025 20:28

Maybe the dress had been returned a few times because it didn't fit.

Topjoe19 · 04/09/2025 20:28

This happened to me recently in a shop, I bought a coat in size 10 - I haven't been a size 10 for about 10 years but the coat was very oversized & the 14 looked huge on me so I had to go smaller. When I was purchasing it, the sales person kept asking me if I'd tried it on - he was probably thinking no way is she a 10!!

Flakey99 · 04/09/2025 20:41

Honestly, you need to develop a thicker skin and try not to give a fuck about what some random person says to you.

I also don’t think it’s a good idea to assume you know the meaning behind her comment as it sounds like you automatically assumed it was negative. No need to upset yourself unnecessarily.

Fact is, you can’t know for sure. She might have been asked to persuade all customers to try on any garments before a sale or it might be something she routinely says to everyone or she’s a bit socially awkward.

Either way, don’t let it ruin your day. Shrug your shoulders and try to keep a positive mindset. You’ve lost the weight and you know you look great!!

Flakey99 · 04/09/2025 20:43

CinnamonJellyBeans · 04/09/2025 20:27

Older doesn't mean sweeter.

She was definitely trying to be nasty, but she would have said the same thing about the dress if you were 7 stone, just to make you feel bad.

You really shouldn't take it to heart.

Mind reading! What an amazing skill to have and with such absolute certainty! 🙄

CarpetKnees · 04/09/2025 20:43

Topjoe19 · 04/09/2025 20:28

This happened to me recently in a shop, I bought a coat in size 10 - I haven't been a size 10 for about 10 years but the coat was very oversized & the 14 looked huge on me so I had to go smaller. When I was purchasing it, the sales person kept asking me if I'd tried it on - he was probably thinking no way is she a 10!!

Or had become aware that the sizing on this particular coat was wildly inaccurate, so wanted to make sure anyone buying it had tried it on first.

ApoodlecalledPenny · 04/09/2025 20:44

I had this in Oliver Bonas (just to prove it's not just charity shops). I bought something which I had tried on and the shop assistant (and it was an older lady, I'm afraid) said "what size have you gone for?" which was a weird question anyway, and when I said it was a 10 she said in a very disapproving way "they come up big". I should have laughed but I was too taken aback at the time, but the memory makes me chuckle now. So rude! And for no apparent reason. Though she was right, even the 10 was a on the big side really. Weirdly, I was also in the middle of losing a shit ton of weight, which she wasn't to know, but I wonder if that's why it stood out to me at the time. You get so used to people judging you when you're bigger (I was 17 stone, now 10) that it comes as a real surprise when it happens and you're the "right" size.

Mrsmunchofmunchington · 04/09/2025 20:48

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DarkYearForMySoul · 04/09/2025 20:49

What a nasty woman to have done that.
Congratulations on losing so much weight @HunderBoff 👏
I’ve only lost 2.5 stone and have really begun to see how much nicer people are to me. Fat prejudice is very real and totally disgusting. I am the same person and professional I was when heavier so the new found niceness just washes over me.
I suggest judging this women (no lady) and others on their behaviour, not their shape

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 04/09/2025 20:54

@HunderBoff I once had a similar experience and actually complained to Oxfam. It was in the window, I was on a weightloss journey at the time and wanted it as a goal item because it was so pretty.

What size is the dress in the window?

She looked

“It won’t fit you”

OhNoNotSusan · 04/09/2025 20:55

perhaps they dont give refunds
she is a charity shop volunteer
i would let it go op

ClearLilac · 04/09/2025 20:55

I personally think you are being a bit silly.

The woman was probably checking that you were happy not to try it on, whatever the size says, its often quite different to the actual size, for any make of clothing.

The were overly sensitive on this occasion.

ClearLilac · 04/09/2025 20:57

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That’s so bad.
I don’t work in a charity shop, but really it’s a thankless unpaid job.
No reason to be so unkind.

Nushi21 · 04/09/2025 20:58

Ignore the nasty jealous old git. I’m sure you look absolutely beautiful x

Violinist64 · 04/09/2025 21:01

Congratulations on your weight loss. I think a lot of elderly women have a "the bigger, the better" mentality when it comes to size (looking at you, Mum). The main thing is that it fits and you look good in it. Try and take no notice of what some random eighty year old thinks. You know your size, she doesn't.

Mustbethat · 04/09/2025 21:03

How do you know she didn’t think it would be too big?

it’s not as if they have a wide range of sizes if it doesn’t fit. She maybe wanted to make sure you were happy with it.

FloofyKat · 04/09/2025 21:15

I doubt she was being rude. It’s not so easy exchanging goods at a charity shop and she probably just wanted to check you were sure. I’d have just smiled and left with my bargain.

Mrsmunchofmunchington · 04/09/2025 21:15

ClearLilac · 04/09/2025 20:57

That’s so bad.
I don’t work in a charity shop, but really it’s a thankless unpaid job.
No reason to be so unkind.

Show quote history

Did I say all volunteers? No.

I am not the unkind one here and it isn’t a thankless job at all.

Itstwelveoclocksomewhere · 04/09/2025 21:15

The replies on this thread are bonkers. Why would someone suggest the charity shop worker was 'jealous' and 'bitter' about the OP. The charity shop worker could be eight stones for all anyone knows.

The OP is clearly very insecure about her weight.

The charity shop worker should not have looked the OP 'up and down' but there was nothing wrong in asking someone if she'd like to try on something before buying it.

Phatgurslyms · 04/09/2025 21:20

You have no way of knowing what she was thinking. She might have thought it was too big for you. Or she might just have genuinely wanted to check that you were happy with it.

I hope she wasn’t commenting on your body as that would be very rude.

angelfacecuti75 · 04/09/2025 21:21

"What DO /you mean by THAT?!" Exasperated and huffy tone....
"Oh thanks ..."
Suggested responses ^ semi passive aggressive"

Steeleydan · 04/09/2025 21:22

Treacletreacle · 04/09/2025 18:37

You should have said something like "good job its not you trying it on then" i match rudeness with rudeness nowadays otherwise i can feel my blood pressure rise

I do exactly the same! They're rude to me, I say something equally cutting back....however you'll have probably noticed these people give it out, but can't take it!! They're squealing like pigs yo all who will listen, that so n so was so rude to me!! Nothing about what prompted !!

OP what you have to remember charity shop people are volunteers, some have learning difficulties, some not the full ticket, and some just old and eccentric!

Horses7 · 04/09/2025 21:25

Honestly you shouldn’t let something like this upset you - you have a choice of how to react to people and situations.
You should forget what happened- it’s not worth it and instead do cartwheels that you fit a Zara small and got a bargain to boot.
Gently….get a grip!

Grammarnut · 04/09/2025 21:27

She was suggesting you try it on to make sure it fitted. I never buy anything, even in a size I have bought before without trying it on. After all it may fit but it also may not suit me. I think you are over-thinking this. Well done losing 8st. btw.😃

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