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Original poster

Comment by woman in charity shop

198 replies

HunderBoff · 04/09/2025 12:42

I went in a charity shop and found a dress I liked. It was on a 'S' hanger but had no price tag on it.

I took it to the till and asked the lady how much it was as it didn't have a tag, she was an older lady so I don't think she heard me as she searched the dress for the (well hidden) manufacturer label and asked me to read it.
I was confused but thought whe wanted to know the brand to price it up. I said 'zara basics, small'

She replied 'its a small then'
I said ' yes I know its a small- the hanger sai- I was asking how much it was as there is no price label'

She said a fiver and I said I would have it.

But then she said 'would you like to try it on?'
I said no as i have plenty of zara dresses in a size small.

And she reached up- pulled her glasses to the end of her nose, looked my up and down (seriously!!) And said 'are you sure you don't want to try it on?'

I was so upset.

Ive lost 8 stone!

I weight 9 stone! And I'm still getting people looking at me like that and making me feel shit about my body :(

I walked out but my husband still bought the dress (which fit perfectly btw!)

I just feel so upset as I thought I was over feeling that way, feeling like other people think im 'big'

I feel it was so rude of her?!

OP posts:
AmoozzBoosh · 06/09/2025 10:11

Complain. Seriously

Catsandcannedbeans · 06/09/2025 10:15

While it is frowned upon to tell people to fuck off, it’s not illegal. I’d have told her to fuck off.

AnnaSunshine · 06/09/2025 10:22

HunderBoff · 04/09/2025 12:42

I went in a charity shop and found a dress I liked. It was on a 'S' hanger but had no price tag on it.

I took it to the till and asked the lady how much it was as it didn't have a tag, she was an older lady so I don't think she heard me as she searched the dress for the (well hidden) manufacturer label and asked me to read it.
I was confused but thought whe wanted to know the brand to price it up. I said 'zara basics, small'

She replied 'its a small then'
I said ' yes I know its a small- the hanger sai- I was asking how much it was as there is no price label'

She said a fiver and I said I would have it.

But then she said 'would you like to try it on?'
I said no as i have plenty of zara dresses in a size small.

And she reached up- pulled her glasses to the end of her nose, looked my up and down (seriously!!) And said 'are you sure you don't want to try it on?'

I was so upset.

Ive lost 8 stone!

I weight 9 stone! And I'm still getting people looking at me like that and making me feel shit about my body :(

I walked out but my husband still bought the dress (which fit perfectly btw!)

I just feel so upset as I thought I was over feeling that way, feeling like other people think im 'big'

I feel it was so rude of her?!

Thoughtless comment.

Give it no more of your time!

Congratulations on your hard work for your health, xx

Nanatobethatsme46 · 06/09/2025 10:33

HunderBoff · 04/09/2025 12:53

But she didnt even know it was for me. I have a 16yo daughter who i buy size 6 yeans for regularly.

I just don't think sne should be commenting at all. And she really did pull her glasses down and do a full up and down body scan of me before asking again :(

Why do you care what other people may or may not think? This is a problem with your own self confidence that makes you feel this way
Ive also lost a large amount over 9 stone but id love to be 9 stone now, i dont think i ever will be but im happy where i am now and ive stopped giving a damn about other peoples opinions of me

CatHairEveryWhereNow · 06/09/2025 11:50

I've had similar - but it's usually for teen DD anyway so just shrug and say that and then get told about the return policy.

I think it's more foot in mouth/social awkwardness.

I've had worse in shops -- once when their card machine wasn't working they said well you have no money - me and previous five people huh. I wanted the item so got cash out - agian was young now probably look on-line. Also buying a present for DH and was outright told I couldn't afford it - I could - wasn't dressed shabby either - but something screamed poor which I found offensive.

carowils · 06/09/2025 11:57

How rude, I buy things in charity shops for people other than myself if I spot something they will like. I've been told things will be too small for me as if I'm an idiot buying kids or young teen clothes for myself!

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 06/09/2025 12:10

When people are like this it is always about them, never about you op. Feel sorry for her that she feels so bad about herself that she feels the need to project and hold your head up that you are comfortable enough in your skin that you don't.

dynamiccactus · 06/09/2025 12:18

Honestly you shouldn’t let something like this upset you - you have a choice of how to react to people and situations

Agreed.

I mean it could have been because she genuinely thought you should try it on. But there again I can't believe people take things back to charity shops anyway. I'd just redonate it if I got it home and decided I didn't like it after all. My mum routinely takes things back. Admittedly I am not on a low income and charity shops can be quite pricey now.

EndlessTreadmill · 06/09/2025 14:28

Massively over thinking it I think. I am a slim person and always have been, so I think you have a chip on your shoulder.
I think she just wanted to make sure you were not going to come back in a couple of days arguing to return it! Not because of the size thing, but just because you didn't like the fit (there are lots of things in my size which I hate the look of when I actually try them on!). So she was trying to save herself some trouble later down the line, and just didn't go about it in the best way.
Honestly, water off a ducks back, especially if she is old! I wouldn t have given it a second's thought.

Deboragh · 06/09/2025 14:49

Mysticmaiden · 04/09/2025 13:03

Probably pure jealousy. Don't give her any more of your time and energy.

Jealous of what exactly? How on earth would she know that OP had lost weight?

Deboragh · 06/09/2025 15:00

Seriously, you think the woman in the charity shop has super powers and is fully aware of how much weight you've lost and how touchy you are about it? I suspect she's had a lot of experience of deluded customers who are obviously size 14/16 trying to squeeze into size 10/12s, it happens!! Asking if you want to try it on is just common sense so you don't waste your time getting it home to find it doesn't fit right.

jasminocereusbritannicus · 06/09/2025 17:19

Our local charity shops, especially Heart Foundation, seem to employ people with some sort of learning disability or mental health problem. They do say some unusual things, but are generally trying to be “chatty” I think. At least they are in employment.
I certainly wouldn’t walk out of a shop for that! To be fair, I don’t think I’ve ever walked out of a shop because I felt somehow belittled.

( By the way, I used to be 21 stone, I’m 16 stone now…. Yes, Ozempic, but I’m type 2 diabetic…)

mathanxiety · 06/09/2025 17:38

HunderBoff · 04/09/2025 12:53

But she didnt even know it was for me. I have a 16yo daughter who i buy size 6 yeans for regularly.

I just don't think sne should be commenting at all. And she really did pull her glasses down and do a full up and down body scan of me before asking again :(

Rude, rude, rude.

I'd phone and ask for the manager. She needs a little 'constructive criticism'.

mathanxiety · 06/09/2025 17:41

Catsandcannedbeans · 06/09/2025 10:15

While it is frowned upon to tell people to fuck off, it’s not illegal. I’d have told her to fuck off.

Yes!

Mysticmaiden · 06/09/2025 17:52

Deboragh · 06/09/2025 14:49

Jealous of what exactly? How on earth would she know that OP had lost weight?

Show quote history

Seriously do I have to state the obvious...jealousy that OP is a size S!

Nothing to do with how much weight she has lost, how absurd...everything to do with her current dress size!
Anyone who has been been looked down at by another woman knows exactly how this feels and can empathise..which is why I've had some many likes and loves to my original post.

I genuinely think that by your response and your latest comment to OP that you are exactly like these kind of women since you seem to have an inability to empathise with OP and this situation.

sneezysbonnet · 06/09/2025 18:03

jasminocereusbritannicus · 06/09/2025 17:19

Our local charity shops, especially Heart Foundation, seem to employ people with some sort of learning disability or mental health problem. They do say some unusual things, but are generally trying to be “chatty” I think. At least they are in employment.
I certainly wouldn’t walk out of a shop for that! To be fair, I don’t think I’ve ever walked out of a shop because I felt somehow belittled.

( By the way, I used to be 21 stone, I’m 16 stone now…. Yes, Ozempic, but I’m type 2 diabetic…)

You should be pleased if the charity is giving people the opportunity to learn new skills.by using them as a volunteer for a few hours a week.
It might even help these people to obtain some gainful employment in the future.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 06/09/2025 18:17

I would have called her a cheeky bitch and bought the dress

CommonAsMucklowe · 07/09/2025 21:49

Are charity shop workers the new doctors receptionist?

Limehawkmoth · 07/09/2025 21:53

Wildfairy · 04/09/2025 13:27

God I abhhor it when women do this, a couple of decades ago , it still stands out in my mind, I bought a leather skirt in a small boutique, the older lady owner told me it was too small for me and to size up, it was midi and a line, so not a tight skirt, the way she did it, was so demeaning, so I actually did, i bought the bigger size, she kept telling me I simply wasn’t a 10/ 12 , I was a big 14/16 if not bigger, in her view and looked awful in the 12.. And I was so embarassed as she was so rude to me and adamant on basically just how fat I was, and I was still relatively young in my twenties. She was in her 60s.

I got it home and it was far too big, and was swivelling round me at the waist, as it was leather it was heavy, so the skirt just swivelled round as it was too big, so the more I thought about it the more I thought it wasn’t ok, and the skirt was unwearable, so I went back and simply said I want to return this, it’s too big and swivels round when I move, to be fair to her she nodded. And said I’m sorry, that was my fault, i knew it was far too big, I don’t know why I did that and felt terrible after you left. Which took the wind totally out my sails.

I swapped it for the smaller size, and never went back to that shop. I honestly think there is something wrong with these people.

That’s just weird. 🤷‍♀️😯

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 08/09/2025 11:56

Aren't people who work in charity shops all a bit weird? I thought it was part of the job description to be slightly odd....

fateisdestined2025 · 08/09/2025 11:58

She was just rude! Maybe she wanted it

GreenCandleWax · 08/09/2025 12:09

HunderBoff · 04/09/2025 12:53

But she didnt even know it was for me. I have a 16yo daughter who i buy size 6 yeans for regularly.

I just don't think sne should be commenting at all. And she really did pull her glasses down and do a full up and down body scan of me before asking again :(

I am so sorry you felt hurt by this. One of the problems with charity shop volunteers is that they are just that - amateurs presumably with no training in customer relations. If you happen to get one who has no normal human awareness, this sort of thing can happen. My DH and I have felt quite hurt once or twice when donating cherished objects (his first set of golf clubs given by his parents for example), and the person behind the counter doesn't even glance at them but says Put them over there - no appreciation of what it might mean to the donor.
This woman you met was not a sensitive person with much understanding of other people unfortunately, so what she says can easily be hurtful. On the other hand, she might well have been concerned in an almost motherly way to make sure you were getting a good fit with the dress. It is possible she meant no criticism whatsoever. As you have lost a lot of weight (and Wow! well done by the way!), maybe the whole issue of weight is still very sensitive for you in a way that someone else wouldn't feel without that experience. Hope you love the dress and can put this behind you, and enjoy it. 💗

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