Comment by woman in charity shop

[HunderBoff]

I went in a charity shop and found a dress I liked. It was on a 'S' hanger but had no price tag on it.

I took it to the till and asked the lady how much it was as it didn't have a tag, she was an older lady so I don't think she heard me as she searched the dress for the (well hidden) manufacturer label and asked me to read it.
I was confused but thought whe wanted to know the brand to price it up. I said 'zara basics, small'

She replied 'its a small then'
I said ' yes I know its a small- the hanger sai- I was asking how much it was as there is no price label'

She said a fiver and I said I would have it.

But then she said 'would you like to try it on?'
I said no as i have plenty of zara dresses in a size small.

And she reached up- pulled her glasses to the end of her nose, looked my up and down (seriously!!) And said 'are you sure you don't want to try it on?'

I was so upset.

Ive lost 8 stone!

I weight 9 stone! And I'm still getting people looking at me like that and making me feel shit about my body :(

I walked out but my husband still bought the dress (which fit perfectly btw!)

I just feel so upset as I thought I was over feeling that way, feeling like other people think im 'big'

I feel it was so rude of her?!

Bit rude!

@HunderBoff she does sound like a simple Cunty Witch from what you describe. That is such an intentionally rude action, and the fact that she has a relatively high amount of life experience makes it even more inexcusable. I've had the misfortune of meeting at least one person like this before and left the encounter feeling genuinely sorry for any unfortunate people who have to regularly interact with her. Maybe she was having a "bad day", but she certainly looked like she was enjoying herself, and there are other ways to handle bad days than targeting random innocent bystanders.

Anyways, I'm glad the dress worked out for you, I'm sure you look amazing wearing it! Maybe you could pay another visit wearing the dress & return the 🤨😒 once-over as you walk past...😇

Edit: accidental duplicate post (sorry, don't know what happened there)

She's probably like my Mam. If a garment touches anywhere it's "too tight".

Funnily enough I had exactly the same thing this week in Oxfam. It was a Zara skirt size 10 and it was tiny. I was going to buy it but the lady said try it on first and she was right - it was too small for me. I was grateful she pointed it out but perhaps it’s the way she said it.

Have you read the thread ? She was bloody rude ! OP well done on your weight loss interested to know how you lost 8 stone!

Have YOU read the thread? There are several posts trashing all charity shop workers/volunteers.

I had a woman in a dress shop do the exact same to me about 30 years ago. She owned the shop, I was a skinny 20 year old and quite shy. You absolutely know when its that bitchy 'up and down' look asking if you really want a 10?
Cow.

I don’t think it’s anything to do with your weight? I expect she was literally just trying to sell you the dress!!!! id have thought actually she thought it would fit you and therefore was trying to sell it to you thinking if you try it on you’d be more likely to buy it… kindly I think the weight thing is likely at the forefront of mind for you but really other people are completely unaware! X

maybe she thought it would be to BIG on you and thats why she mentioned trying it on..congrats on your weightloss x

Some people just don’t think
I had a consultant put on a letter that my estimated BMI was 40
that’s not my BMI. And it should be factual not bloody estimated! If it was 40 I wouldn’t have got the operation so I complained and had it removed from my notes and my actual BMI added instead

Please try not to get upset by older women volunteering in charity shops - as people age they do change and not always for the better, as in this case, but why should you care what a partially deaf random stranger thinks? Well done on the weight loss and glad the dress fitted!

Go back in the week and ask to speak to the manager, if she’s not there find out when she is… talk to her about this member of staff and suggest that she’s spoken to about her manners/customer service. Old people can be very tactless / rude!
if you fit into a size small Zara dress then you must be tiny!!….. were you wearing baggy clothes at the time? Still bloody rude though. …
I clean for elderly people and one commented on my weight.. I need to loose almost 6 stone!… and struggling so much with it. Eating healthy which is killing my bank balance, walking loads and loosing brain numbing amounts each week (lost not even a stone since mid May!) so feel proud of your loss and ignore this ignorant old lady… (because it did it!)

Yes because those posting have experienced the same in being rude to customers though I’m sure they are not all like that

I suspect she was fed up of dealing with returns / requests for returns so now asks everyone if they want to try something on before they buy.

I manage volunteers and there is sometimes this thing where a volunteer has one difficult situation with Customer 1 and if you don't manage it correctly you find they try to apply some odd metric to every subsequent customer that walks through the door.

@HunderBoff

Was it Charity Shop Sue??

m.youtube.com/watch?v=sGo7YOM0PCs&pp=ygUQY2hhcml0eSBzaG9wIHN1ZQ%3D%3D

I think she consciously or unconsciously realises her own cognition is declining and lashed out as an ego defence mechanism when she realised she made a mistake

She said ‘Are you sure you don’t want to try it on?’ Not ‘I think you should try it on.’

She probably couldn’t care less and didn’t even think about what size you are, FFS.

I think this is a you problem, sorry 😀

I was once in Zara. I was confused by the sizes so asked an assistant for advice after I tried on a Large coat and found it was too small. She looked me up and down in disgust and added what size I was. I replied 12 and she said 'You surely can't expect to get anything in Zara if you're that big.' I walked our and didn't go back for 10 years.

I walked round charity shops in a local posh suburb. Not one person in any of them spoke to me. Now I know many of them are volunteers, and having done it myself, it's hard graft. But no manners whatso ever.

@sandrae21 pathetic. The staff there are hideous.

Some older people don't often have the ability to process words into pleasantries

And many people of all ages are lacking in the manners department.

The way you need to look at behaviour like this is- if the best thing she had to do that day was be rude to you then that says more about her than anything else. Only miserable people are intentionally that rude to a stranger!

Sounds like you’ve done an amazing job with your weight loss and I’m jealous that you can fit in a Zara small 😉

Alternatively- she misunderstood/ wasn’t trying to be rude. From your description of the incident I doubt it but you never know! Wear the dress with a huge smile- I bet you look fab!!!

I work one day a week in a charity shop and we give refunds if clothes don't fit. We have a changing room and encourage people to try them on because it holds up the queue having to do a refund. Then customers start tut-tutting, shuffling their feet and sighing.

Try and see it from the other side OP.

I think this is to do with your own issues of low self esteem and you’re reading into her actions something that wasn’t there.

I do the same.