Lost six stone, feel humiliated

[ButterflyBarista]

I've told noone in real life how much I've lost but obviously it's very clear I have lost weight (in fact a third of my body weight). I have done this through diet and exercise alone and walking in my local neighborhood.I work locally too.
i just feel utterly humiliated by myself, does anyone understand? I get comments literally every day. In fact, yesterday I was stopped whilst on a run, by by two separate people I don't know to ask me exactly how much weight I had lost. Both women were trying to be nice and friendly but I just feel mortified. It's embarrassing that I had let myself get to such a weight in the first place, that people are watching me, and that, actually I am basically the same person I ever was but now somehow more worthy and "inspirational". I find it all utterly mortifying and although I understand people are trying to be nice, I just hear "you're so much better than the whale you were before".
Can anyone understand or talk me out of this?

I don't know. I'm not thinking 'oh what a lard-arse they were before' if I think someone looks good after losing weight.

It's like if I'm impressed they've just got a first class honours degree I wasn't previously thinking they were a thicko.

Also my husband lost a lot of weight and everyone commented on it because I think they were impressed with the discipline and hard work it took for him with diet and exercise.

Do you shame smokers?

@Seaside3 lts not really discipline, it’s motivation, try to reframe it. I am not disciplined therefore there is something wrong with you, I am motivated. It might change. It’s a fluctuating state. For any change to take place there has to be motivation, for sustained change you have to have sustained motivation.

Yeah, I lost six stone 20 years ago. I thought it would be the answer to all my problems but it wasn't. I felt just as sad, just as hopeless as I did when I was fat. The only difference was my aching joints stopped hurting.
I've spent a lot of money since on therapy - there was a reason why I got that fat a very good reason which I won't share here.
As for what other people think, I don't give a shit. I've long since stopped caring about what they think. So should you. To hell with them.

It’s exceptionally rude of people to comment on your body. I would just give a lukewarm response and silence and make them feel arkward.

I really try not to comment on people’s appearance and especially weight for this reason. It’s well meant (usually), but it can just make people feel awful, myself inclined. The exception is I think maybe complimenting an article of clothing or style of hair - something that is not the body or semi-permanent.

Erm....two people you don't know stopped you to enquire about your weight loss? Just like that?

How odd.

People are too nosy and too quick to pass remark. Not this scenario but when I was having dd2 I had a really
hard pregnancy, lots of water retention and sickness. After I had her and was pushing the pram out shopping one woman stopped me and said ‘oh I’m so glad you’ve had her, I kept seeing you looking so miserable struggling to the shops’ I was mortified.

You said it approvingly. You thought it was "rightly" so that no one supported her. So, whether you were there or not, it's a horrible story that shows you in an unpleasant light.

No. Shaming someone who is addicted to a substance is the most counterproductive thing you can do to them.

It happened to me several times. A woman who worked in the post office. A supermarket cashier. A friend of a friend. The postman. All sorts of people had comments to make about my body; most of them had never said more than 'hello' to me before.

Thank you! This is really helpful.

Try not shaming anyone. You're not God. You don't know what people have going on in their lives. No one is helped by being shamed. It's abusive and wrong.

It’s the “you look well!” comments for me. I’ve always looked well, what you mean is now I look a bit thinner than I was this time last year. Still about a stone overweight but fuck me I wasn’t sick when I weighed more! (Well, not counting the chronic condition I have because I still have that even two stone lighter!)

I can well believe it having had the world feel entitled to comment on my weight most of my life.

We all know it is in our interests not to be overweight. She knew she had to lose more weight and so did those around her who were shocked they hadn’t noticed the 5 stone loss. No one explicitly said she needed to lose more.

Op I can well believe your experiences. I have been very clear with my dds growing up that comments on others body's for whatever reason are not polite nor acceptable unsolicited.

As someone who receives a lot of comments on body size I really relate and honestly I effing hate it. Even if well meant it's invasive and rude.

@FifiLaPass your judgy pants are hoiked so high I’m surprised your arse isn’t bleeding from the wedgie you must have right now. Go take your fatphobia elsewhere, it’s oozing out of every word you type.

Carefully read what I have written. I wasn’t there, didn’t shame anyone, didn’t even suggest that. You’ve gone off at a tangent.
I expressed an opinion held by those with whom she did interact - that she needed to lose more than the 5 stone to achieve her goal.

You and your friends sound absolutely horrible.

Try to be sensible about healthy weight, dear, rather than be so aggressive.

No. You made yourself perfectly clear. It's not my thread but I'm sure I speak for at least a few of us here when I say your judgement and attempts to shame people aren't wanted.

I overheard a colleague say to another, god you've lost a shed load of weight and I thought that awkward!

I do get it, and totally understand. But think about how you would feel if you had lost all that weight and nobody noticed? I’m currently trying to eat healthy and exercise more as I am five stone overweight but if I manage to lose it I think I would rather have the positive comments than nobody saying anything at all! I do think I look horrible body wise so I probably wouldn’t see it like it like you because I know I don’t look good at this weight. Yesterday I changed the way I do my make up, I didn’t use black eyeliner and put lipstick on, a small change but my granddaughters commented how nice I looked! I did think 🤔 but realised that thick black eyeliner just wasn’t a good look on me and appreciated it.

People in the medical profession freely and professionally comment on a patient’s weight. Are they met with such combative responses?
No one commented on this woman’s weight. Having lost 5 stone, she needed to lose more. She knew that and so did they. End of.
I wasn’t there.