@TheRealHousewife I am absolutely not taking it as patronising. Please don't worry.
My problems mostly stem from a terrible "all or nothing" attitude.
I do really hate those analogies about running a red light and breaking all driving laws, because it really doesn't compare. For example, Friday, when my husband was away I promised the children a sort of takeway, I knew that it would be blowing any calories, I planned a lunch I'd like... then the thinking came in that it didn't matter anyway, so I ate 2 cinnamon buns, a slice of toast with peanut butter as well as lunch, then the Indian meal in the evening.
I also feel life would be so bleak without food being a social, celebratory, seasonal marking, etc, event. So I want to enjoy the birthday cake, the pancakes, the hot cross buns (not yet though!)... but then the all or nothing flips a switch and I give up on days very easily. Then days add up, as they did in February.
I have noticed changes in my tolerances as I've got older. Icecream was something I loved and now it makes me horribly uncomfortable, so stopped with it in any real amounts. I do watch the carbs I eat, as I know it causes me to retain water. I don't eat pasta, couscous etc when my family have it, it's not "worth" it to me either calories wise, I don't miss it. However I can't buy nice bread as I would just eat it all!
I do wonder how much being Autistic impacts my eating habits. Whilst I don't have a restrictive diet, nor am I afraid of trying new things, I wonder if the sensation seeking, crunch, sweet, savoury etc, or the feeling of being full, is part of it. The disordered thinking of all or nothing certainly is part of it, as I will rashly apply that in other parts of my life too.
My goals? Essentially not to be crippled by my weight as I get older. When I was pregnant, my breathing (I'm asthmatic) was so bad, I really hurt a calf muscle, I had to slow down as I had placenta previa, I felt so decrepit and sitting on a stool in the bathroom to dry myself was a scary image of the future I didn't want.