Lazy pig seeks other lazy pigs to lose 1lb a week.

[Mañanarama]

Ok, this starts on Monday, as I have a steak pie and mash and yorkies to eat tomorrow. Will also heroically finish the Christmas chocolate so it’s out of the house. Once that’s all achieved, I’m good to go.

I need and must lose at least one pound a week until April. That’s about a stone.

Shouldn’t be too hard, right? Wrong. I’m basically fucking lazy, I hate exercise, hate going out in bad weather and am a total gluttonous food guzzling pig. And probably peri menopausal. And I sit at a desk all day. And a million other pathetic excuses why I’ve not shifted this weight in 2022 like I said I would.

I can’t be the only one who’s got sod all willpower, so who’s up to being fully accountable to this thread?

Lazy pigs like me especially welcome. Weigh in Monday morning.

I’ve been steadily putting on about 2lbs a month since summer, so it’s just a kind of energy stop and back pedal on that. Fully aware I have eaten like a pig snuffling truffles recently because Christmas food is amazing, so cutting down A BIT and moving A BIT more seems the most obvious and easiest way forward. What I will not do is torture myself with faddy diets or starving myself, I’m an emotional eater so if this plan makes me unhappy I’ll just eat even more.

Slowly slowly catchy piggy.

Welcome everyone! So glad to have found a herd of like minded people!

• emergency stop, not energy stop! I don’t have sufficient energy to stop.

Oh my spirit animal is the pig! I've just been for a walk. Measure me for my coffin now I'm going for 20 minutes of activity a day on the Zoe app. Also considering Fast800 as it's reduced price and includes shopping lists. I have eleventy billion pounds to lose. One a week seems reasonable.

I’m reading this while snaffling roast potatoes because the bastard chicken is gargantuan and taking its bastard time to cook.
We are starting tomorrow, right?

I went to a Pilates class to try to vaguely kickstart things. The instructor suggested a body pump class and then we just looked at each other for a bit until I left.
Don’t think I’m going back.

Can I join?? I'm a lazy pig 🐷 can't be arsed exercising I'm doing dry January and as motivation I've ordered a bikini for holiday in May haven't worn one since the 90s so should be enough to shock me measured myself ffs I once had a 24" waist where is it 😱

Crisps and cheese and pizza are my downfall I'm back to work tomorrow workies all love to eat and toast is loaded with lurpack so have to make my own lol good luck to you all 💪👙

Abso-piggin-lutely we’re starting tomorrow! May as well pig out today to reach maximum weight before morning. There’s a method in that madness, somewhere…

Love love love roast potatoes 🐷

But what if I have to calorie count? :-( I don't wanna

I’m in!
i tried to get ahead of the curve and lost 3kg throughout November, unfortunately I think I’ve gained it all back plus extra going by how my clothes fit 😫

gonna try and get back on it tomorrow!

I’ve just had a massive fry-up and now laying on the sofa in a food coma. Must start tomorrow or I never will.

Well then you don’t have to, I’m not either! Sounds like we all know what we should do for our own personal circumstances, and that’s hopefully enough.

Sigh. How dare you encourage us to improve our health like this. Maybe I want that heart attack at 40. 🙄 or not I suppose. Well, I hope my family appreciate what I'm doing for them, saving them all those hospital visits and worry.

With the Lazy Pig half arsed diet plan (trademarked) you can now wait until you’re 45 😋

Ooh ooh can I join? You sound great fun op :) I too am an emotional eater lost count of the amount of fad diets I've done over the years, they just don't work I end up giving up as feel deprived and then guilty. so small changes and no pressure is defo the way to go for me :)

The irony of reading a diet thread as I disentangle a remnant of food from my hair.

Please can I join? This is exactly what I need the sort of diet plan that might possibly be realistic and doesn't stop me eating biscuits just maybe a few less

I had salad for lunch, do I hand my badge back now? I still have curry for dinner, two crumpets to finish off and a pack of KitKat not yet opened, if that's any defence.

Amazing how many of us there are. I’m feeling much better about my greedy self so just polished off my Lindt bear to celebrate.

@whatausername crumbs in hair / on tits is standard round here. Perhaps I’ll make it a mandatory joining requirement.

Well blimey, you didn't read the OP did you 😂

Another lazy pig reporting for duty! I have 2 stone to lose. No time frame, just easy does it. Cutting out chocolate midweek and upping the water is where I'll be starting tomorrow

Have a slab of Night Cheese later and we’ll pretend the salad incident didn’t happen 😍

Me 🙋‍♀️ I want to join.

Trouble is I love potatoes, and wine. Always too much wine.
Aiming for far less alcohol and more protein this year.

Aiming to lose a stone.

Thank you. I assumed as it's a first offence there would be some leniency.

I'm going to go to the supermarket shortly and I'm going to buy a vegetable. And no biscuits. Or cheese. Okay, maybe a little bit of cheese.

A solitary carrot will do. No longer than the length of your finger is my unasked for suggestion. Don't want to go too big too soon.