Lazy pig seeks other lazy pigs to lose 1lb a week.

[Mañanarama]

Ok, this starts on Monday, as I have a steak pie and mash and yorkies to eat tomorrow. Will also heroically finish the Christmas chocolate so it’s out of the house. Once that’s all achieved, I’m good to go.

I need and must lose at least one pound a week until April. That’s about a stone.

Shouldn’t be too hard, right? Wrong. I’m basically fucking lazy, I hate exercise, hate going out in bad weather and am a total gluttonous food guzzling pig. And probably peri menopausal. And I sit at a desk all day. And a million other pathetic excuses why I’ve not shifted this weight in 2022 like I said I would.

I can’t be the only one who’s got sod all willpower, so who’s up to being fully accountable to this thread?

Lazy pigs like me especially welcome. Weigh in Monday morning.

Please can I join? I’m off my lazy arse three days a week because I have to go to ‘work’ running around after 4 year olds so I do about 15000 steps on those days then spend the rest of the week curled up like a reticulated python. Obviously eating whatever I can because those 3 busy days a quite a shock. Maybe one less biscuit? Or one less piece of night cheese? I don’t want to take on too much change right now.

@buonnatale this is my plan - 2 you tube exercise videos twice a day, less bread , smaller portions , healthy evening snacks or non at all , less cheese and potatoes. I walk the dog a lot so do a minimum of 12k steps a day but would then get in and sit down with a big bag of revels , that will stop !

Count me in! Massive lazy porker. Never met a potato I didn’t like. Need to lose at least a stone but preferably two so I can wear more than three alternating outfits. My wardrobe is a clothes museum documenting my increasing porkiness.

Current plan on Monday. Avoid making eye contact with bread, no alcohol until the weekend and ummm, that’s it really. Might possibly try and do an exercise thingy.

I am lovely, if a bit sweary and slovenly, and I look fine in a chunky knit jumper. But every year I get caught out by spring arriving and that sudden “oh fuck I can see muffin tops through that t-shirt”

Hmmm. Muffins.

“Might possibly try and do an exercise thingy.”

Thats the spirit @Snorklette. Bravo! Avoiding eye contact with bread is a realistic start and I’ll add that to my list.

Night cheese! Oh yes 😂let’s cut a piece of that out right away.

👍🏻 think calorie counting is the way.

I think vague calorie awareness is more realistic, for me.

I’m sad that I have missed out on the deliciousness that is Night Cheese.
<muses that an extra exercise thingy and also a firm-ish abstinence from random slices of ham (Day Ham) might enable me to experience this nocturnal delight>

Day Ham is fiiiine isn’t it? I was thinking of stocking up on cold meats. My mother in law lost a stone by only eating ham and eggs. I mean, she’s miserable, but thinner. Nothing a Ferrero Rocher or two wouldn’t sort out.

Here I am!

I want to shed between 4 and 5 Kg.

I lost 3 Stone a couple of years ago but the creep has speeded up over Christmas and I want to get back to my weight from Spring 22.

I enjoy moderate exercise, but have no willpower in the face of chocolate, cake, crisps or ice cream.

I think everyone has to do it the way that suits them best.

For me it is:
Prioritise healthy eating, and see this as looking after myself, a good, positive thing to do, not miserable punitive deprivation.

Cut out gratuitous snacks. Keep healthy snacks in stock, and eat them on schedule (mid afternoon) , not mindlessly while watching endless Gogglebox repeats.

Portion control. Eat normal (but healthy) evening meals but recognise that a smaller helping of pasta is probably enough.

Up the veg content of meals

3 nights a week alcohol-free. (I do like a glass of red).

No blame, no beating up. And no giving up: a day off plan is just that, back in business the next day. Eyes forwards.

Enjoy success! Every 250g lost is a the equivalent of a pack of butter scraped off your middle!

Weigh Wednesday mornings.

I quite like the sound of The Ham and Egg diet. Especially if it includes chips.

Bloody love Ferrero Rocher. Quite fancy one now actually.

I'm sure I read that small changes are more sustainable long term anyway, as opposed to doing a proper serious diet that then just means everything you've lost goes straight back on once you've become too miserable to continue...?

That's going to be my excuse, anyway...

EXACTLY! This is why I’m targeting one paltry pound a week. It cannot be beyond me/us!

I’m going to make a list of semi sensible ideas from this thread. Will post it later.

@EyesOnThePies
You seem an excellent motivational speaker/leader . Am going to stick the bit about the butter on my fridge and on the Day Ham.

Dare I say that I’m feeling rather keen to start!

I managed to lose a stone last year but it took me from January - June just about. I've regained 5lb over xmas so I'm going to try a similar approach as last year to shift it and hopefully a couple of pounds more...I'm on medication that increases my appetite / makes me crave sugar / seems to make everything harder to shift though so I'm trying to think of every tiny loss as a win!

Don't mind me, I'm only here to cheer you all on <feebly waves pom-poms from a sitting position>

🐷🐽 reporting for duty

Late to the party but this is me too.
I am very lazy, but have joined a gym and commit to going 3 times a week. Will not be doing circuits or any such high impact exercise but will burn extra calories and also do the weights machines because I want to get stronger too.
Also calorie counting, it is the only way to stop horrendous snacking which is my problem.

Can i join? I need to lose 3-4 stone. The only thing that's ever worked for me is low carb combined with low calorie. Absolutely miserable and the weight all goes back on as soon as i sniff a bit of bread anyway. I need to find another way.

Actually i did lose half a stone recently but that was from having flu and barely eating for 5 days. I was hoping the lack of appetite would stay but all I'm left with is grotty sinuses and muffled hearing in one ear.

Vague plan is more vegetables and smaller portions of the things i actually like.

My friend lost loads of weight & for every 250g she lost, she bought a block of lard. Kept it in an ice box and when tempted to shnarfel ferrero or after eight she would look at her box of lard.

Seemed to work.

I'm in! Lost a stone last year, and have managed to put it back in the the last three months.

Arthritic so exercise can hurt but it will also be good for me. Peri menopausal. I know I stress eat(bloody men and bloody teenagers), and I sit at a desk most of the day.

Crisps are my downfall. If I buy a six pack, I will eat them within a day. I've just had two packs 🤦‍♀️

I think I have found my people! May I join you? Need to lose about 4/5 stone, but too angry with the scales to stand on them (they're so rude!)

I've just checked my health app thingy (it's a heart on the app?) and I average 1,842 steps a day. I'm going to have to do something about that aren't I? I have a toddler and I hate the rain. I also love biscuits.... and crisps. And sandwiches and bread and pasta and part baked baguettes and I find fruit boring.

Can I join? You basically described me. I've been half heartedly trying to lose size since 2020 and remain stubbornly at 10.5 stone.
I don't mind the gym any more but struggle to find time to go, I hate being outdoors in anything but nice weather, and I love eating.
I'd like to lose a stone and see if I can get back to a size 10, have been a 12 for ages but ordered a dress recently and had to get a 14, as my perimenopausal tummy needs more space.
This thread sounds like the accountability I need!

Things I need to address:
Evening snacking out of boredom, portion sizes, not doing enough exercise