Busty Babe With GSOH Seeks SW Partner for Weigh-Ins, Bad Jokes & Barely Veiled Self-Loathing

[BlooferLady]

All right, when you've un-cringed from the above -

I'm about to (re-)embark on Slimming World and since I have neither the time nor the funds to go to classes could really do with a coupla pals for those delicious weekly morning weigh-ins. Is anyone interested? I guess it would be ideal if we were all SWing, but it ain't essential. It's the praise or blame I need, alongside willing recipients of lengthy descriptions of the size of my arse .

Few stats (and needless to say we needn't go in for actual weights here)

I lost 3.5 stone a couple of years ago on SW, and have gained about 20lb of that. I KNOW! Silly bint.

As a first step I want to lose 10lb because this will take me into the 'light enough for IVF' category (I have 6 months left before referral for fertility treatment and if not pregnant by then would like to arrive in the pink of health).

After that I would like to lose another 10lb and say 'hello stranger!' to my sad neglected wardrobe of vintage frocks.

Finally, if you are interesting in hanging out, would you mind awfully looking in the mirror and checking that you actually are properly overweight?! Because nothing would depress me more than celebrating getting into a size 16 dress, when everyone else on the thread was lamenting finding their size 10 skinnies a little snug

Right. I'll now sit back and await rejection. Alpine my luvva, if you're reading this do join!

oh bugger fish! Will you get a decent payout?

Oh fuck, I'm so sorry Fish . Like Nora says, will you get a redundancy payment? How awful.

Not a penny-I am on a Self employed contract basis. I have one choice but to try and get a new job in the next month.

Oh God. How utterly stressful for you. All the luck imaginable that something turns up very sharpish indeed.

oh shitty fuck!!! hope you are able to get something sharpish!

ok - I have lasted one hour... one hour and I want crap!!!

HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEE

mini twister ice lolly - 45 cals... and a glass of water

good compromise???

Oh Nora! Yes that's not too bad.

but why are you getting so hungry? Do you think you are not eating enough bolstering, comforty sort of food during the day/evening??

The one thing I would say for Slimming World is that I am never hungry, simply never. I mean - it's quite possible that I am eating too much still but i know from folk who have lost several stone that you can be constantly full on SW and still lose weight. I am honestly not paid to advertise for them btw. Er largely because one look at me and folk would run screaming for Weight Watchers

In other news hands up everyone who cannot wait for the Chelsea version of TOWIE to start?

I am not even fucking hungry bloof! Just on my own with nothing to do - boredom eating is my downfall!!!

Ah! Well - my tactics are just to do something else fiddly with my fingers. No, not that well not every time anyway ! I very often take off all my makeup and do it again, maybe a different way from the way I normally would. Or do a manicure or pedicure, or have a long bath. I know all that sounds really patronising and obvious but I feel like if someone had suggested all those things to me years ago I would have better nails and be thinner!

Bloof nearly choked at you being an advert for SW

Fish so sorry about your job, but as my mum says when God shuts a door, somewhere he opens a window.

Yes ALL RIGHT Stinky

Sorry to hear about the job loss Fish. That's truly shite. Something WILL turn up...it just has to.

I have found the ultimate motivation...I had to go shopping for swimwear today. Need I say more?

Please may I share some of that gin with you-it's only virtual so wont drown the wee one in utero!

I did cave and have a green fag earlier-haven't had one since the day I found out, but it all got a bit much for me tonight. Just the one, I wont have anymore.

poor Fish You've had a helluva month pal.

Urgh I am hungry and dying for something sweet. Strawberries just won't cut it.

Fish - crapbags. Sorry to hear that. T'is shit. Hope something else comes up.

Fuck - oh the agony. I know that pain,poor you. Gin is necessary

Here is a recipe for falafal which is sinfree on green or extra easy and would be a good snack

227g/8oz dried or canned chick peas, 1 onion, finely chopped, 2 garlic cloves crushed,
1 level tsp ground cumin, 1 level tsp ground coriander,1 small red chilli, deseeded and finely chopped,1 tbsp chopped fresh coriander,2 tbsps chopped parsley,½ tsp baking powder,salt and freshly ground black pepper
Fry Light, for spraying

1. Put the chick peas in a bowl, cover them with plenty of cold water and leave to soak for at least 48 hours. Drain the chick peas and then rinse well under cold running water in a colander, and cook according to packet instuctions.

1. Put the drained chick peas in a food processor with the onion, garlic, cumin, coriander, chilli and herbs. Process to a thick, smooth puree. Add the baking powder and seasoning and stir well. Transfer to a bowl and chill in the refrigerator for 1 hour.

1. Take small pieces of the pureed chick pea mixture and form into little balls between your hands, then flatten them out slightly. Arrange the falafel balls on a baking tray that has been sprayed with Fry Light.

1. Cook the falafel in a preheated hot oven at 220°C/Gas 7 for about 12-15 minutes, until crisp and golden. Serve immediately. A bowl of fat free natural yogurt flavoured with fresh mint and chopped chilli makes a good dip for the falafel.

Another snack suggestion (which makes me want to heave as it has cottage cheese in it)..Asparagus which is rolled in ham and cottage cheese

Dip free on everything
454g/1lb fat free natural fromage frais
grated zest and juice of 1 lemon or lime
1 small green or red chilli, deseeded and chopped (optional)
1 small bunch fresh mint, freshly chopped
2 tbsp chopped dill
sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
pinch of paprika
sprig of parsley, to garnish

1. Spoon the fromage frais into a bowl. Stir in the lemon (or lime) zest and juice and the chilli (if using). Mix together.

1. Add the chopped mint and dill, and then season to taste with salt and pepper.

1. Transfer the dip to a serving bowl and sprinkle lightly with paprika. Garnish the dip with a sprig of parsley. Chill before serving.

Salmon pate
1 x 198g/7oz red salmon canned in brine
85g/3oz fat-free natural yogurt
85g/3oz fat-free natural fromage frais
grated zest of 1 lemon
3 ripe tomatoes, skinned, deseeded and chopped
1 tbsp roughly chopped capers
1 tbsp chopped dill
salt and freshly ground black pepper

method1. Remove any skin and bones from the salmon and place in a food processor or blender with the yogurt, fromage frais and lemon zest. Process for a few seconds - it should not be too smooth.

1. Transfer to a bowl and stir in the chopped tomatoes, capers and dill. Season to taste with salt and pepper and chill until required.

Tip: Use 170g / 6oz smoked salmon (12 Syns on Green) instead of canned. Proceed as above, omitting the tomatoes and add a little lemon juice. The Syns per serving will be FREE on Original; 3 Syns on Green

fishy That's really shit, I'm sorry. :( On a more practical side, you could always check out entitledto.com and if you are currently "fairly low earners" you might be pleasantly surprised about what you might get once the baby makes an appearance. Even little things like free swimming type stuff would be a blessing. Don't beat yourself up about the green fag either - I'll admit to having more than one green fag and I didn't eat organic mung beans knitted by monks every day either. Sometimes only Burger King onion rings would hit the spot.

Well I made my apple & rhubarb crumble and gave myself a portion (with custard) - truly magnificent! I then portioned out some for the boys and stuck the rest in the freezer. Good girl. I was going to cycle up to the creche this morning with the baby on the back of the bike (up hill), but we're now arguing to the point where we fight over who takes the baby to creche. Yes, my relationship is going that well! Woke up this morning with a washboard tummy.

Not sure what will happen about lunch today. I broke my front tooth on Sunday (the glamma!) and so have a noon appointment to be drilled & filled.

Thanks so much for those Cheese, you = star. I specially like the sound of the salmon pate one - would be lovely with some HE toast and some cucumber

Sorry about your toothy-peg Pony - that's both you and the hoss in the wars this week

Well now. In the office today, and going direct from there to an art show thing, so must take a packed supper or there will be mayhem.

GREEN DAY
Breakfast - fruit, Muller, muesli (HEB)
Lunch - I'll have a jacket potato and cottage cheese and fresh fruit from Hall. Please all sacrifice burnt offerings the goddess Elle MacPherson (have you seen the recent pix of her?!) that I manage to stick to that and not get tempted by, oh, roast belly pork and pecan pie.
Supper on the run - I'll take with me a cheese sarnie (HEA and HEB), banana, orange.

Good luck to all....our last day before the ... Dun Dun DUUUUUUUUUN....DAY. OF. DOOOOOOOOOOOM (tm)

Only are you happy to continue listing?

Oh. Ahem. Forgot my synnage. I'll be drinking so I'll have 4/5 Gin and Slimlines at 2.5 each (10-12.5 syns depending on self control). I emailed the lass I'll be with and warned her, and discovered to my amaze that she also is watching her weight, so there will be solidarity there.

She's an interesting case in point atch - she's no smaller than me, but so stylish it makes your eyes bleed. Incredible short haircut I believe they'd call 'directional', Vivienne Westwood shoes, amazing sacque dresses from obscure German designers, butter-soft leather coats, jewellery that looks like it can receive satellite signals. . . amazing how some people can be overweight and look incredible and some (Spoiler alert: me) look like tramps

Ah yes, I know that one Bloof - there is a girl at my SW group who has four children and yet manages to look cool, calm and in control, and worse than that, absolutely stunning. She is so pretty - beautiful face, huge smile, - and yet the very fact of her being there shows she is overweight and wants to change her figure. If I looked like her I would just swan about in nice clothes, looking in mirrors and flicking my hair about.

I'm so tired today. The baby is still going at it big time on the teething front and I have no resources to attack the day. I just want to shut her in a cupboard and go to sleep on the sofa!
But I may risk the dreaded Baby Club instead in a bid to stay awake past 10am. So tired, so tired, so tired.

Hope the tooth fixing isnt too painful Pony, I loathe anything tooth related

Fish virtual cake coming your way. That is not the news you need when you should be all happy and exicted about your prospective bundle.

Hi all, just going to jump right in, will read back through thread in a little while, just want to put it in writing that I am joining Slimming World this evening, I intend to give it my best shot, can anyone suggest a sample meal plan for tomorrow (Extra Easy) as I know that preparation is my downfall (that and eating way way too much) and I want to be prepared.

Oh to be glam fat or thin!

pixie poor you, I know the feeling. Hope your little one settles soon.

alpine shudderring at thought of dentist, good luck

Had rough night with baby and just managed to shove a few strawbs down my throat. Shes feeding so much today, permanently attached to me

Today i will eat
B; strawberries (not much I know plus toast hopefully

L;Chicken and pasta in nat yog and ssalad

D stirfry veg, egg fried rice

plus fruit, yoghurt and the standard alpen light bars !!!