Also, further to my post below, it’s strange how we view ourselves and what we can convince ourselves of.
A stone off is huge for me, and at certain points over the past few days I have been posing in the mirror and thinking I look great.
Whereas at other points I’m catching a glimpse of myself and despairingly realising just how far I still have to go.
(the hairdresser visit was a real low point - I walked in feeling quite good, and as soon as I caught sight of my double chins in the mirror was just so despondent.
However, it’s very important not to get too caught up in it all.
When I started with Wegovy I said it was purely for health reasons. It wasn’t. My confidence was at rock bottom and had been for a long time and I was in denial about how big I was. I always made an effort with my hair and makeup, but I wore the same clothes day in and day out as they were comfy and the only things that fitted. Clothes shopping filled me with dread, ditto events or nights out so I just wouldn’t go.
I found myself making self-deprecating jokes about my weight and realised with horror that I was becoming that cliche of the jolly, fat woman, who makes jokes about her weight as a way of deflecting other people from making them.
I’m now happy with the rate at which the weight is coming off, but I’m left feeling very soft and flabby. I know that exercise is the answer. But I’m bombarded with adverts and displays in shops for protein bars, protein yoghurts, protein shakes, protein whey.
it’s exhausting. I just want to be a healthy weight, I don’t want to be living my life like I’m some sort of body builder (disclaimer, I am just about to have a late breakfast of a protein yoghurt).
I know I’m going to have to firm up but the idea is very daunting.
Anyway, all this to say, I found myself last night googling upper bleph surgery. For those of who you don’t know, as I didn’t until last night, this is surgery to stop the skin above your eyes drooping down over your eyelids, covering your eyelashes etc.
Does the skin above my eyes do this? Yes, a bit. Is it really something I need to fix? No, there are a hundred other imperfections with my face and body that need attention before that. But that’s what’s being pushed in the media, so that’s what I was drawn to looking into.
it’s a slippery slope and I think everybody needs to bear in mind what real women look like. The girls and women I see on Instagram etc have obviously affected me more than I thought and I find it very depressing.
Other than my weight, I am generally fairly confident, and I need to hold onto that.
Anyway, just my musings, happy Sunday all xxx