Would you assume we are uninvited?

[clouds87]

DP and I recieved a 'save the evening' card ages ago (possible as far back as last year) its 1.5 - 2 hr drive so DP booked a hotel for the night.
The groom isnt a close friend of his - he was someone DP saw every so often through a interest/work, I know him to say hi and we've both met the bride once (at another wedding).

Just realised the invite doesnt have a time on it! DP has sent a message politely asking if there is a gift list but had no reply, they havent had contact for a long time (groom left the interest they knew each other through)

Obviously we cant turn up with no time, but what would you do? Try calling them next week if we havent heard? Then if no answer dont go? We dont know anyone else going and as we dont use facebook etc not sure what else to do.

I wonder if as DP and groom havent been in touch for a long time thats why they havent let us know so we might be uninvited, which I completly understand - but would like to cancel the hotel and get the money back if so ...

Thanks!

Thanks very much everyone for your thoughts

That's rude of them. If you send a save the date you should send an invite and I'd assume they messed up numbers and you're not invited. If the invite got lost, you would've got a reminder after the RSVP date. Rude not to reply to DH's text too though.

Some people are such a mess and just can't organise anything properly to save themselves. We got invited with kids to a Halloween party and then kids were no longer invited and then suddenly kids are invited again. I said to DH I'm just not interested at this point so just tell them no, we made other plans.

Go for a mini break.

Go to the hotel and use the night and so a visit around that area.

I think it’s worse with kids as they get so excited about things then you have to deal with the disappointment. But I agree - and the older I get (ok only 37 😂) I can’t be bothered to be messed around

mini break then..!

We received a save the date and then nothing. Eventually found out they had sent digital invites by email and ours was in the spam box.

I would definitely call to check.
Cancel the room in the meantime.

Do you have some friends you could see instead or a fun weekend away for dh?

I don't think you have been uninvited so much as never invited. Rather rude but perhaps the groom was closer to your DH when they sent out the Save the Dates. Maybe change your hotel booking to another date if possible (unless you want to peek at the wedding).

It's annoying though. They shouldn't be sending save the dates out then ignoring people. Not very polite. People have saved the dates so should be followed up

Ooh this is awks.
I think you’re lovely booking a hotel on the basis of an evening only invite for someone you didnt know that well! And they are a bit rude for not inviting you in the end but hopefully you can get money back on the hotel.
I think I would assume at this point you’re not invited or maybe even it’s not going ahead.
friendships do change over time

This happened to me. A save the date card from someone I used to consider a very close friend. I wrote back, said I'd love to come, she wrote back and said great. No invitation ever came. Not spoken to her since.

It seems rude to send a save the date but not an actual invite. Perhaps circumstances have changed in the interim and they have had to trim numbers - it doesn't sound like you were all super close. Rude not to answer your husband's text but again they might not have the same number and if not super close not mentioned it when it happened/

That’s another good suggestion to just change the date - maybe for jan for our anniversary! 😊 will speak to DP when he is home. Feeling more reassured if I’m honest that everyone feels on the same wavelength that we would have heard by now and it’s not me overthinking which I can do! x

Why would you want to go to a wedding of someone that you are not in (regular) contact with? I know you received a save the date but I really couldn't think of anything worse? Especially if you won't know anyone at it. That would have been a straight no from me but maybe I'm a hermit. Anyway I would absolutely keep the booking and go and enjoy yourselves either there or somewhere else!

Could it be that he wanted to invite you and sent the save the date, but then as your dp hasn’t been in touch or made any effort to maintain the friendship, that he assumed you both weren’t interested, so felt too embarrassed to send the invite? I certainly wouldn’t invite someone to my wedding who hadn’t spoken to me in a long time.

That sounds like a good idea OP. Keep the hotel and have a nice night away together! Something to look forward to 😊

Awkward but it sound like they are barely even acquaintances with either of you. Weddings are far too expensive to invite people they’ve met once or say hello to in passing.

Broken fingers, OP? What happened? Are you OK?

I’m pretty laid back and was going with DP as he wanted to, but yes friendships work both ways and with the last year things being difficult, his/our effort hasn’t been enough I guess

oh yes! Accident in the care home I work in at the weekend. Slipped down the stairs luckily i landed on the side on my hand and not straight down on my wrist 🤦‍♀️ thank you for asking though.
never a dull moment..!

Definitely ☺️

@clouds87 I got a save the date for a 40th birthday party once but then no actual invite. Just saw all the party photos go up on Facebook. Wonder if I should have text to ask her about my invite? I would do now but I felt too awkward back then.

I’ve had a save the date and then no invitation. I assumed we just weren’t invited in the end. My suspicions were confirmed when they got in touch to ask us if we wanted to come after all when some people dropped out 😂 It does happen.

sorry to hear about your other half’s rough year. Yes, maybe keep the hotel if that still works and would appeal to your partner and treat yourselves 🙂

Ah, I'm glad you're ok.

And yes, have a lovely weekend to yourselves. Maybe rearrange the hotel date.

Maybe the week before we might be contacted then as a back up 😂

the things is we both genuinely wouldn’t be offended if they had been in touch and apologised that we couldn’t be invited/their change of plans etc. but lesson learnt I guess that save the date invites mean different things to different people

Did you get a 'save the evening' or a 'save the date'? If it was just a save the evening they probably aren't bothered sending formal evening invites.