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Original poster

Fiances sister is only asking me to be a bridesmaid - 4 months asking all her others

291 replies

amanda2k4 · 07/12/2023 22:23

Fiancé sister getting married. They asked my fiancé back in August to be groomsman. I did express some disappointment, more to the fact that my fiancé would be in the wedding photos, and I would be standing on the sidelines lol, and we would be married by that point. (not a big wedding, we just elope)

Anyway, she went to find a wedding dress and I was upset. My fiance text her and asked why I wasn't invited to help her find a dress, she said she was only allowed 6 people. Anywho, she apologised to me and said she was only allowed 6 people and obviously had her mum, mother in law etc. Fast forward to 4 months later, and she has text me saying she would love me to stand next to her as a sister?

In August, when she was posted her bridesmaids on Instagram she said "last but not least" to the final girl, so I know I am an extra. I wonder whats changed? And would you be offended your fiances sister didn't ask you but asked your fiance to be in the wedding? We have only been together 1 year.

OP posts:
DisforDarkChocolate · 07/12/2023 22:25

I really don't understand your position at all. Why on earth would you even expect to go dress shopping with her let alone be upset? Someone has made her ask you because of how ridiculous you're acting. Leave her alone.

ForHeavensSakeRichard · 07/12/2023 22:26

Fucking hell.
You've made her wedding all about you.

Mummymummy89 · 07/12/2023 22:27

Maybe whats changed is that people have told her you really want to be a bridesmaid so she's given in.

I think you've been unreasonable tbh. You're not her sister, you're not even her sister in law yet, and you haven't known her all that long if you've only been with your fiance a year. Most women choose actual family members, or friends they've known a long time, to be their bridesmaids. You're neither (yet).

Is he actually your fiance, do you have a wedding date set? Have you asked her to be your bridesmaid?

Dancingonaslice · 07/12/2023 22:28

Why on earth would you expect to have a role at all? And to be taken wedding dress shopping? I wouldn’t have taken my SIL even after she had been married to my bro for a few years and I do actually like her a lot!

I wonder if your fiance has put pressure on her and she’s now felt she has to ask you?

Which is pretty awkward all round.

MindHowYouGoes · 07/12/2023 22:29

You’ve only been with your DH for a year? And you’re married already? She must barely know you, why would you even think she would ask you?

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 07/12/2023 22:29

YAB massively unreasonable.

You've only been with your fiancée a year, so you probably barely know her. Why on earth would she choose you as a bridesmaid or ask you to help choose her dress?

SittingOnTheChair · 07/12/2023 22:29

Eh? You are being very unreasonable.

ThePoshUns · 07/12/2023 22:30

Are you always so self absorbed?

FirstFallopians · 07/12/2023 22:31

Were you seriously expecting to be asked to be in the wedding party for the sister of your boyfriend who you had been going out with for approximately eight months?

Onemorefortheroad · 07/12/2023 22:31

This has got to be made up 🙄

Azandme · 07/12/2023 22:31

Why are you trying to force your way into this wedding?

laladoodoo · 07/12/2023 22:31

Jesus.

Why would she involve you? Stop being weird.

Why did she "announce" her bridesmaids?! Who cares? Are you in the US or something?

GolfForBrains · 07/12/2023 22:32

Wow. You are about to get your arse kicked from here to the other side of the wedding I'm afraid.

I would agree that your fiancé's sister has had pressure put on her to ask you because of your reaction to, I am sorry to say, what all sounds perfectly normal. Wind your neck back in.

Peepshowcreepshow · 07/12/2023 22:32

Stop making the poor woman feel bad about her wedding plans. I suspect your name is mud at the moment, you need to rein in your bratty behaviour quickly.

MrsSkylerWhite · 07/12/2023 22:32

Who the hell takes 6 people to choose a wedding dress?

laladoodoo · 07/12/2023 22:32

Tbh 6 people at wedding dress shopping would be a nightmare

WeightoftheWorld · 07/12/2023 22:32

Ridiculous, be gracious and decline on the grounds that you're honoured to have been asked but you don't know each other well enough. She will be completely relieved and it might salvage your relationship for the future. As PP said she's clearly been guilt tripped into asking you which is so wrong.

titchy · 07/12/2023 22:33

Unless there's a massive drip-feed that you're actually her sister and she introduced you to your now fiance, you are massively unreasonable. Why the fuck would she want you as a bridesmaid? That's a role for people she has known for years, and her brothers girlfriend.

Marblessolveeverything · 07/12/2023 22:33

Are you five ?

titchy · 07/12/2023 22:33

Sigh. This is a reverse isn't it?

Marblessolveeverything · 07/12/2023 22:33

Are you five ?

titchy · 07/12/2023 22:34

*not her brothers' gf...

Tryingandfailingagain · 07/12/2023 22:34

What? You’ve only been together a year, and you’re engaged?

She doesn’t want you to be a bridesmaid. She wants her friends. It’s somewhat of a tradition though- so somewhere along the way she has given in to the peer pressure and has asked you. You barely even know each other.

I would graciously decline. It’s her day. Not yours.

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 07/12/2023 22:34

titchy · 07/12/2023 22:33

Sigh. This is a reverse isn't it?

Either that or it's made up. The last sentence gives it away, totally.

fruitbrewhaha · 07/12/2023 22:35

Can’t be real. Surely no one is this self absorbed.

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