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Original poster

Fiances sister is only asking me to be a bridesmaid - 4 months asking all her others

291 replies

amanda2k4 · 07/12/2023 22:23

Fiancé sister getting married. They asked my fiancé back in August to be groomsman. I did express some disappointment, more to the fact that my fiancé would be in the wedding photos, and I would be standing on the sidelines lol, and we would be married by that point. (not a big wedding, we just elope)

Anyway, she went to find a wedding dress and I was upset. My fiance text her and asked why I wasn't invited to help her find a dress, she said she was only allowed 6 people. Anywho, she apologised to me and said she was only allowed 6 people and obviously had her mum, mother in law etc. Fast forward to 4 months later, and she has text me saying she would love me to stand next to her as a sister?

In August, when she was posted her bridesmaids on Instagram she said "last but not least" to the final girl, so I know I am an extra. I wonder whats changed? And would you be offended your fiances sister didn't ask you but asked your fiance to be in the wedding? We have only been together 1 year.

OP posts:
Justcallmebebes · 07/12/2023 22:37

And would you be offended your fiances sister didn't ask you but asked your fiance to be in the wedding? We have only been together 1 year.

Oh come on now. He's her brother, of course he's involved. You're a girlfriend of a year. It's really not about you

littlefireseverywhere · 07/12/2023 22:38

Exactly what @Tryingandfailingagain said.

salamirose · 07/12/2023 22:40

Is this a reverse?

salamirose · 07/12/2023 22:47

You also need to slow down your own relationship

Nicole1111 · 07/12/2023 23:01

I really hope this isn’t real and you and your partner haven’t pressured this poor woman in to involving someone she barely knows in the bridal party of her wedding day, when clearly her wedding is very important to her as she chose not to elope.

Ittastesvile · 07/12/2023 23:03

Maybe she feels she knows you more now than four mo ago.

But no, I wouldn't be offended if SIL didn't ask me to be a BM. Virtually no one I know had SILs as BMs, they mostly chose lifelong friends or their own sisters/cousins.

Sockmate123 · 07/12/2023 23:05

MrsSkylerWhite · 07/12/2023 22:32

Who the hell takes 6 people to choose a wedding dress?

I was thinking the same! I had just my Mum, sister and other bridesmaid came to see it then at first fitting

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 07/12/2023 23:06

What? You've been with your fiancé for ONE YEAR and expected to be involved in his sister's wedding?

This has to be a windup or a reverse. Surely no one can be this precious and self-centred.

User13579367337 · 07/12/2023 23:09

titchy · 07/12/2023 22:33

Sigh. This is a reverse isn't it?

No. It’s not real

Dotcheck · 07/12/2023 23:10

Dear god OP.
You’ve whined to be part of the wedding right from the start. And now you’re mad she didn’t ask you 4 months ago, when you had only been with her brother 8 months.
Bonkers behaviour.

This is either a reverse or this thread will be deleted …

Aquamarine1029 · 07/12/2023 23:10

Anyway, she went to find a wedding dress and I was upset. My fiance text her and asked why I wasn't invited to help her find a dress

Wow, just when you think you've heard it all. I suppose you missed the memo explaining how the entire universe doesn't revolve around you. It is horrifying that your partner actually texted his sister about this. I'm genuinely embarrassed for you.

Her wedding isn't about you. Just stop.

UsingChangeofName · 07/12/2023 23:13

Have to agree with everyone else.
It is weird you think you would have been asked to be a bridesmaid in the first place
It is very weird you think you should have been asked to go wedding dress shopping with her.
It is weird to think someone who has fairly recently started going out with the bride's brother would be asked to be part of the wedding party.

She presumably feels pressured by your complaining and has given in. I can't believe your fiance texted her to question her decisions Shock

flowerchild2000 · 07/12/2023 23:13

It's her wedding. You're not entitled to it and if she wants you to join in some way it's for her, not you. If you want to feel special, have a reception celebration for your anniversary or something.

MadMadamMimz · 07/12/2023 23:14

So you have been with your fiancé for 1 year (and already planning to be married) and your SIL asked her friends to be bridesmaids 4 months ago. You would have only been with your fiancé for 8 months by this point and were making demands to be included in the wedding. Erm...

Ardith · 07/12/2023 23:17

You’ve only known her a year, but you had a sulk because she didn’t invite you to go wedding dress shopping?

Can you see that is not normal?

You aren’t her family and you clearly aren’t her friend either. Frankly you seem completely self-centred, attention-seeking and a bit bridezilla. You’ve bullied her into making someone she hardly knows a bridesmaid!

Wow. Stop being intrusive and trying to force relationships with your fiance’s family, you’ll only make them dislike you. Just be friendly and nice to them and real friendships will develop over the years.

RosieCockle · 07/12/2023 23:18

Very much doubt this is real

GracePalmer33 · 07/12/2023 23:27

Haha what the heck is wrong with you? Do you even like her or have a good relationship with her? Why would you expect to be bridesmaid and why should she want you to be? But now she has actually asked you and you're still not happy? Get a grip

eish · 07/12/2023 23:34

Bonkers

BrimfulOfMash · 07/12/2023 23:42

So 4 months ago she had only known you for 8 months? And you kicked off because you thought she should prioritise you over her family members and long-standing best friends?

And now you are offended?

You are a menace.

SD1978 · 07/12/2023 23:42

Ah jeez- this is one of this irritating as feck reverses isn't it........

SD1978 · 07/12/2023 23:43

So I really hope you've gotten all the outraged on your behalf posts you'd hoped for......Hmm

MrsPerfect12 · 07/12/2023 23:44

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

ActDottie · 07/12/2023 23:46

ForHeavensSakeRichard · 07/12/2023 22:26

Fucking hell.
You've made her wedding all about you.

This.

When my brother got married I wasn’t a bridesmaid and neither did I go to her wedding dress fitting. I don’t understand why you expected to?

Nicesalad · 07/12/2023 23:48

MrsSkylerWhite · 07/12/2023 22:32

Who the hell takes 6 people to choose a wedding dress?

People who feel inspired by TV programmes like "Say yes to the dress".

Moonshine5 · 07/12/2023 23:49

Why is this even a question. You don't know the bride.
Have fun at the wedding and wish the couple well.