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Original poster

What age would you consider young to marry?

160 replies

cerealchops · 05/04/2023 17:31

Just that, really

It seems frowned upon if you’re under 25 in our circles, most people assume we want a long engagement but we just want to get straight on with planning!

OP posts:
Yabadabadoooooooooooooo · 05/04/2023 21:06

I think anything under 30 is young to be getting married but I wouldn't frown upon anything over 21. Under 21 I think is too young to realise the magnitude of the commitment and would advise my own children to wait until they were a bit older.

Meandfour · 05/04/2023 21:10

wheresmymojo · 05/04/2023 17:47

I obviously wouldn't disapprove or judge in anyway but if I meet people under 30 who are married I think of it as being young.

Most in my circle were 35ish

Wouldn’t that potentially limit family size? Most of my friends and family married before having children. Waiting until 35 to marry and then have children could have consequences on how many DC they could have.

WeightoftheWorld · 05/04/2023 21:11

I'd consider under about 23 as young I think. I wouldn't frown upon it, just think it's unusual enough to think it's young, it's not a value judgment. DH and I got married at 20 ourselves which certainly raised lots of eyebrows.

2023issucky · 05/04/2023 21:11

I got married at 19! Been married 23 years and still very happy.
Eldest is now 20 and if she told me she was getting married now I would think it's too young. End of the day, the decision is very personal.

Meandfour · 05/04/2023 21:14

DH and I were both 25 when we got married. We’d already been together 10 years, bought our first home and travelled.
We've been married 8 years this year, have 4DC and bought our second home last year.

Hotvimto3 · 05/04/2023 21:33

Under 27

Darcy86 · 05/04/2023 21:51

I got married at 23 about 13 years ago and it was a disaster, I was far too young. Divorced by 25 and then remarried at 32. Pleased to say this one is happy and was at the right time for me personally. But then everyone's different!

SE13Mummy · 05/04/2023 21:54

Before both halves of the couple have worked and lived independently feels too young to me. I was 24 and DH 27 when we married 22 years ago. A number of our friends got married at similar ages but when I had DC1 at 27, that seemed more unusual.

Mañanarama · 05/04/2023 22:06

The people who stayed in our home town seemed to get married much earlier (in their mid 20’s) than those that went to uni or moved away for work (mostly 30-40)

WandaWonder · 05/04/2023 22:09

It depends, I will admit your post comes across you are planning for the day only not being married

MathsNervous · 05/04/2023 22:11

16/17

MarshaBradyo · 05/04/2023 22:12

26 and under

MathsNervous · 05/04/2023 22:13

Got married at 24 which isn't that unusual tbh.

merrymelodies · 05/04/2023 22:15

It depends on the people getting married: how mature they are, if they are financially secure, mentally and physically healthy, realistic and compatible expectations and goals.

HamBone · 05/04/2023 22:19

Even though I got married at 25 and have been happy, I’d prefer my children to wait a little longer, maybe late 20’s/30 so they have more life experience.

OTOH, the nastiest divorce I’ve witnessed was between one of my closest friends and her ex. They were 34 and 37 when they married, other relationships behind them….everyone assumed they were ready and knew what they wanted.

So who knows what the right age is!

thebaneofmylifeisacat · 05/04/2023 22:36

Got married at 25 as did most of my friends snd had kids late 20s early thirties.

Cant see my dds doing that more options these days but I am always in awe of first babies in the 40s but good on you.

thebaneofmylifeisacat · 05/04/2023 22:38

Young would be under 21 any thing over seems ok to me

RuthW · 05/04/2023 22:41

Under 27 I would consider young to marry nowdays.

Orangetapemeasure · 05/04/2023 22:45

I think it depends I the circles you move in. I married at 37. Under 30 seems young to me now, but when I was in my early 20s over 25 seemed ancient. If you move in Christian circles and you aren’t married by 30 you’ve missed the boat completely. generally people with professional careers get married later.

Toiletfriend · 05/04/2023 23:03

Nowadays under 30.

HamBone · 05/04/2023 23:08

@Orangetapemeasure I agree that religion plays a part. DH’s family is Catholic, everyone has a postgraduate degree (parents, siblings, cousins) and no one has lived with a partner longterm. Perhaps a few months of in the run-up to their wedding, but not longterm.

All married in their 20’s and 30’s. No one’s divorced either!

adulthumanfemalemum · 05/04/2023 23:09

I got married straight out of uni aged 23 and I was quite a few years ahead of all my peers. Definitely under 21 I would consider very young. If people have been working since school then early-mid 20s is probably more common. In university/professional circles probably late 20s or 30s iss more common.

sageandbasilareherbs · 05/04/2023 23:11

26 or under

TMess · 05/04/2023 23:12

I had just turned 20 when we got married. I was not the first of my peer group; pretty much in the middle. Ten years later many people I remember as children are 20/21 and getting married and I think wow, so young! Your perspective on it probably changes the older you get.

CatherinedeBourgh · 05/04/2023 23:14

Under 20 I guess.

I married at 21 and am still married over 30 years later, most of my friends and relatives who waited until 'sensible' ages (late 20s early 30s) have since gotten divorced, so I don't think age is that relevant to anything myself.