What age would you consider young to marry?

[cerealchops]

Just that, really

It seems frowned upon if you’re under 25 in our circles, most people assume we want a long engagement but we just want to get straight on with planning!

I was 22, a few people were quite unhappy weirdly, more friends of friends rather than anyone I actually knew well, a couple of work colleagues were outraged, very strange. I’m still happily married 22 years later. I would consider under 21 young I think. Marrying someone who respects you is far more important than whether you’re 21 or 31 though.

Probably under 25 but as many pp have shown getting married young doesn’t necessarily make marital breakdown more likely

I married at 22, together since 16- we've been married 10 years this year. I did get a lot of bridal boutiques guiding me to the prom and evening gown sections rather than the wedding dresses😅majority of our friends circle are getting married/ engaged/ having children now and settling down. We're onto the next stage of our lives - holidays, trips out and finding ourselves again.

I would think anyone under 18 is too young personally.

It's only on mumsnet that 'most people in my circle' get married mid thirties or later and have babies in their 40s.

It's a class thing innit! Only those who don't have careers get married and sprog in their 20s those from north of Watford or possibly Essex 😂😂😂😂😂

Exactly! I’d be a teen mum in their eyes as I’m pregnant at 26😂 I have a very good degree and professional career, but on Mumsnet this is only achievable in your 30s. They think it’s so much better to get married and pregnant within 1-2 years of knowing someone in your 30s and 40s, but ridiculous for someone in their 20s (who has been in a relationship for 5+ years) to get pregnant and get engaged.

Yep I met dh sged 17 so we grew up together and married 24 had kids in our 20s and 30s.

I was a gran in my 40s.

Not comparing or saying either is better but it definatly seems to be a mumsnet thing that young parenthood snd marriage is odd.

Still it's a fab thing women have choices in their fertility and more control.

@PinkPink1 It is abit weird, isn’t it. My cousin is a scientist and university professor ( formerly at Oxford, now elsewhere). He met his wife at 20- how long were they supposed to wait to not be considered uneducated and low class?!

They did wait until their 30’s to have children, but why should they wait years to get married when they met young?!

It depends. I married at 23 and in hindsight that was too young. I think anything below 25/26 is young, but for my own dc I would prefer if they were 30+ getting married.

It's weird, my parents married at 21 and 26 back in the 70's so I've always had no thoughts over young people getting married, but that's like my DS1 getting married next year and he feels far too young!

I had him at 22 and married at 27. Felt quite average getting married then, quite young having him at that age.

If you move in Christian circles and you aren’t married by 30 you’ve missed the boat completely.

You seem to be taking a very small sample and extrapolating
I've been a Church goer all my life and that definitely isn't a way of thinking in any circles I move in.

I was 26 and he was 28 - having being together since was 18, and were probably on early side in our uni friends - though some school friends who went into straight into work married slightly younger.

So early 20 is young I suppose.

Saw talk recently that suggest marriage has changed - people used to do it when young so they could walk through life/build together now it's seen more as something you work towards - icing on cake rather than pulling together in life.

Not sure I buy it but then it does seems to be more acceptable/normalised to have kids in early 20s in certain social groups we are at fringes of whereas eye get raise at marriage at similar ages.

I do think it's very much a class thing to be honest. But there's no right or wrong it's what suits each couple.

I got married at 21 (13 years ago). Everyone was shocked and we had a lot of people trying to talk us out of it. We wouldnt listen obviously. Worked out well for us and we are still happily together now.
My friend met her first husband at the same time as i met mine and she got married when they were 30. Divorced again 2 years after and remarried a few years after that 🤷🏻‍♀️

Under 25 is definitely young, but i wouldnt judge anyone for it. You just never know. You can grow up together or grow apart i guess. But this can happen at any age.

I had him at 22 and married at 27. Felt quite average getting married then, quite young having him at that age.

@familyissues12345 Its interesting how people view things differently, because I felt that having a children with DH was the really big commitment, far more than the marriage.

My feeling was that pre-children, once the financial aspects of a divorce were sorted, we could both walk away and never see each other again if we wished. Whereas a child tied us together longterm- we’d still have to remain in contact even if we hated each other!

@thebaneofmylifeisacat But what if people meet during their undergraduate or postgraduate degrees? Loads of people meet at university-if you meet at 20 like my cousin, why would you wait a decade or more to get married? It didn’t stop either of them getting their doctorates!

I'd say under 25. I got married when I was 26 (14 years ago). I didn't feel that I was particularly young as my siblings married young too. Amongst my friends though I was married at least 5 years before them.

Yes having children is the commitment and responsibilitiy of a life time!

Much more than marriage

Unfortunately there are plenty of absent fathers who don’t see it that way - and you only have to read the many threads on MN where men are happy to have children with their partners but not share bank accounts, get married, or form any legal partnership with them. The idea of committing through marriage sends the running for the hills - fathering children, not so much.

Yes that's life and some men and some women

Doesn't make it less right though does it?

Having children SHOULD be the most important commitment of an adults life.

Just because some parents are crap doesn't change facts

Anything under 25 years old is young. People change as they mature. Best to do changing before marriage as hard if one changes views etc and the other does not.

Yep, children should be the most important thing - but having a stable, legal, equal relationship as the foundation to bring them into is really important. Far too many men (and it’s mostly men) move on from their children very quickly and have no legal (or otherwise )responsibility.

I’m pregnant with our first and I don’t want to share a bank account apart from for joint bills. I’d like to keep our salaries and savings separate but then again, I have more savings and a higher salary.

I don’t want to share a bank account apart from for joint bills

The sharing an account for joint bills bit is key there.

I think if you care about higher savings or Salary it's deffo you are in the older cohort.

Dh and I together at 17 and shared a bank account from 18. Never thought that was a strange thing. Late 50s now But I get we are lucky as we trusted each other and were right to do so.

However if you start off having seperate accounts in your middle age it's a sign of sense or sensibility 😂😂

I haven't seen any comments about being uneducated and 'low class?'

Where are these posts?