Help me reveal secret wedding plans to fiance!

[Futball13]

So we have two young children, been engaged five years. He has dropped the odd hint. About a month ago I found 'the dress' and thought I may as well continue with the plans. Its a smallish affair at a country house with 28 family and friends. It's all planned for Easter Saturday, everyone knows apart from the groom! I have to get him to sign the marriage notice forms so plan to tell him on Valentines Day. Any bright ideas on a fun way of breaking the news?

[piglet81]

You can’t be serious!

[MrsBunnyEars]

Christ. I’d talk to him asap in a ‘this is a thing we could do, what do you think’ way. Your current plan is awfully manipulative.

[Eastereggsboxedupready]

My dh would have been ecstatic if I had done this. Wedding prep was so stressful for him and he went along with whatever I wanted anyway!
Good luck op. Maybe send him some flowers with a wedding invite instead of the florist card attached?

[OnaBegonia]

I would not be amused if this was done to me, railroading him i to a wedding, I don't see this going well.

[Boating123]

I'm guessing you know him pretty well and he would do all the wedding planning stuff.

How about you get regular kinder egg surprises for you children and on valentines day give your kids the normal ones and give you fiance a special one.

I don't know how easy it would be to do but you could carefully unwrap the egg. Cut the egg in half and put a little message inside the plastic container to say something like - move over Kinder - I've got a real surprise for you! We are getting married Easter Saturday at ...I love you. then rewrap it.

[Knoblauch]

Yea that isn't how giving notice works. You don't just need his signature. You both have to attend the local registry office for the appointment.

Good luck with manipulating this man into marrying you.

[Boating123]

Sorry first line should say - he wouldn't want to do the wedding planning stuff.

[AnneLovesGilbert]

Take a break?

[watsthecraic]

I would absolutely hate this.

I hope he's less annoyed than I would be.

You've spent a ton of money without even discussing it with him.

[HyacinthineMacaw]

I know we always encourage women to propose if they want to get married, and to move on with plans once it’s been agreed, either by discussion or proposal, but I don’t think anyone has ever suggested something as extreme as this. It’s as manipulative as a man who dangles the prospect of a proposal over a woman for years.

OP, you are, in the kindest way, a loon. What if he says he doesn’t want to get married? A five year engagement and children already - if he’d wanted to be married, he would have done something about it before now.

This is a massive gamble. If you’ve prepared yourself for the consequences, then crack on, but be aware that this might not turn out to be the big romantic ending you are envisaging.

[Twizbe]

This is a gamble. I'm going to hope you know him well enough to know he'd like this.

Perhaps a valentines card to your husband ... then tell him what you've planned.

[Boating123]

I can't believe how many people are being horrible to OP.
Make an appointment with the registrar for after Valentines day. From memory you have to give 6 weeks notice.

[BlueKaftan]

Christ on a bike. Did you buy your own ring?

[YellowAndGreenToBeSeen]

Bloody hell, I’d be furious if someone did this to me. I’d feel so manipulated and railroaded. I’d be heading on any ‘honeymoon’ on my own.

I really hope it goes well for you OP and that you know your partner incredibly well.

[DillDanding]

Is this a joke?

If not, you need to break it to him asap.

[DestinysGrandchild]

Please tell me this is a joke🤣

[GoldDuster]

Can anyone smell that?

[ShimmeringShirts]

Does he actually want to marry you? I’m assuming he’s proposed at one point? I’d be pretty freaked out at having my wedding arranged for me with no input or even knowing I was going to be married tbh.

[ShimmeringShirts]

And I assume you’re funding it all yourself if you’ve kept it a secret from him which is a bit dubious, large expenses like weddings should be something that’s discussed between the pair of you.

[ThisNameIsNotAvailable]

This seems like a great idea which can only end well. The only thing which would make it better is to live stream it to millions and have all his ex girlfriends as bridesmaids I think. A bit like Bullseye - this is what you could have won.

[Springis]

Well you are where you are and you know best what works for you guys. Men always want the bride to do all the planning anyway and if he didn’t want to marry then he wouldn’t have proposed.

So. Treat it like a proposal, but one aimed at a man (ie focused on food and sex not flowers and romance). Cook him a nice meal, then get down on one knee and give him a posh wedding invite with eg the time date etc in printed gold letters but Marry Me felt-tipped on it or something like that. Then if he gets annoyed about it, distract him with sex.

There’s a comedy scene in Avenue Q where someone does this and she just tells her groom ‘Think of it like a surprise party’.

[MermaidEyes]

Is this real?! The only men I know who were engaged for that length of time were the ones who didn't actually want to get married...
And if he's more than happy to marry you, it still seems very odd to plan something that important yourself without any input from him. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, and that usually starts with the planning.

[RosaDeInvierno]

christ.....
you have booked and paid for the entire wedding without telling him?

If he didnt have to get involved prior, would you have just invited him out for the day?

[BillLius]

This won’t end well.