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To think driving is very hyped up?

302 replies

Countbinface39 · 08/07/2026 13:29

I recently passed my test at almost 40. It took me 8 attempts, I'd had lessons on and off over the years and resigned myself to not driving. It was a relief to pass, not because I desperately needed to drive but because of the social pressure.
I am glad I have the option and don't have to do it again, I genuinely believed I wasn't cut out for driving.
There's a lot of hyperbole around driving which didn't help. I had people telling me I'd 'finally get my independence' when I passed. I own my own house, lived alone abroad for years, completely financially independent.
Also 'your life will finally start!' I'd like to think it started many years ago! I've never lived in very remote areas so luckily I wasn't heavily reliant on it, I never got lifts. I paid for ubers etc. But that's hardly the same as someone giving you a free lift!
I think a lot of people project their own experience onto you- they're maybe thinking of being 17 and relying on parents to get anywhere.
Driving has certainly given me more options, but it's hardly this magic carpet- still have to pay for the car, insurance, deal with dangerous drivers, parking, traffic etc- people always forget those things!
Someone even said my partner must 'have the upper hand' in our relationship because he had a car, which is ridiculous. People work as a team, you could apply that logic to anything, people who earn more, etc.
Anyway, rant over! I've got myself a cheap little runner that gets me from A to B, that's another thing some people comment on, if it's under 10k,15k, whatever it's going to fall apart the minute you get into it. More nonsense, i think the stress of being the only non-driver got to me, i felt like it was a very normal part of life I'd never get to do, but I'm glad I've got it.

OP posts:
Countbinface39 · 08/07/2026 13:34

Whilst it's very useful in some situations, people almost talk about it as if it's a religion, I do understand for people in remote areas it does help a lot. But I wish I hadn't felt so much pressure to pass, looking back I let it get to me.

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BirdLandedonmyHead · 08/07/2026 13:35

Non drivers build their lives around solutions to not driving (publuc transpirt, deliveries, ubers etc)

Drivers dont. I couldnt live where I live and get my DDs to their sports practices, do my own hobbies, even simple things like the post office without great difficulty. But i have a car, that doesnt matter.

Presumably your public transport is better, and youve chosen activities etc accessible to you.

Countbinface39 · 08/07/2026 13:36

Honestly, i like having both options. I haven't got any desire to live somewhere with very limited public transport, even with having the car now. I still take the train sometimes, I appreciate it's different for people in remote places.

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Flamingojune · 08/07/2026 13:37

BirdLandedonmyHead · 08/07/2026 13:35

Non drivers build their lives around solutions to not driving (publuc transpirt, deliveries, ubers etc)

Drivers dont. I couldnt live where I live and get my DDs to their sports practices, do my own hobbies, even simple things like the post office without great difficulty. But i have a car, that doesnt matter.

Presumably your public transport is better, and youve chosen activities etc accessible to you.

Equally, drivers build their lives around needing to drive. Plenty of people live very free lives without using cars

Countbinface39 · 08/07/2026 13:38

I don't want to fully depend on it because you never know if you might become ill, disabled etc. I know it's not that common but not impossible either.

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MidnightPatrol · 08/07/2026 13:38

I am similarly unbothered by driving, but then I live in the middle of a big city so the public transport is excellent.

Some people really love it. My DH cannot understand why I care so little about what car we own.

Flamingojune · 08/07/2026 13:38

Car drivers dont look very free when they are sitting in traffic jams

Countbinface39 · 08/07/2026 13:39

It has given me a couple more options, I know some people really do love it, I just think it's funny that they always fail to mention the downsides when they're talking about how amazing and wonderful it is.

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Gardeningsideeffects · 08/07/2026 13:39

It took me 4 goes and I finally passed at 21.

I wouldn't have had any of the jobs I've had as they all required driving. I wouldn't have been able to visit friends or drive to distant funerals or have holidays in parts of Europe with no public transport.

I wouldn't have been able to take DC to nursery and school or go to the beach with them.

I wouldn't be able to go to the Tip or collect DC from school or do an emergency late night dash to the supermarket for a broken calculator before an exam.

I wouldn't have been able to move to another country and take DC to parties in places I hadn't been to before.

I love driving and owning a car and yes it has given me all my independence.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 08/07/2026 13:39

I don't think it's hyped up, it's a necessarily skill which most people are able to acquire and means you are more flexible and independent with travel. It's also why some older people are loathe to give it up.

Countbinface39 · 08/07/2026 13:40

It's each to their own really, I understand it gives some people more independence which is great, I do think some people assume their experience is universal. I did laugh when a friend told me I'd 'finally be free' when I passed, as if I were in prison or something.

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aliceyyyy2654 · 08/07/2026 13:40

I’m not sure how comfortable I feel about someone being on the roads who took 8 attempts to pass 🫣

Moonlightfrog · 08/07/2026 13:41

I love driving but my eldest daughter is really struggling with it (2 failed tests and learning in an auto), she doesn’t enjoy it and if we lived in a city or large town she wouldn’t bother learning. When she does pass she will likely drive to the train station and hop on a train rather than drive further than she needs to. Sadly we live in a village with almost 0 public transport so being able to drive is pretty important.

Flamingojune · 08/07/2026 13:41

Lots of hire bike schemes springing up in various towns and cities. The less reliance on cars the better.

Countbinface39 · 08/07/2026 13:41

aliceyyyy2654 · 08/07/2026 13:40

I’m not sure how comfortable I feel about someone being on the roads who took 8 attempts to pass 🫣

That's fine, I'm sure you're amazing at everything. So glad I don't know someone as rude as you ;)

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aliceyyyy2654 · 08/07/2026 13:42

Countbinface39 · 08/07/2026 13:41

That's fine, I'm sure you're amazing at everything. So glad I don't know someone as rude as you ;)

That’s alright, I passed first time but I do think there should be a limit or at least an extended test for those who keep failing

Flamingojune · 08/07/2026 13:43

aliceyyyy2654 · 08/07/2026 13:40

I’m not sure how comfortable I feel about someone being on the roads who took 8 attempts to pass 🫣

I'm sure there are lots of impatient angry drivers on the road who passed first time. They're the ones to be wary of

ShowOfHands · 08/07/2026 13:43

Under 10 or 15k?! I've never spent more than 2k on a car and they're perfectly reliable. I've also never had anybody imply they aren't.

Anyway...

It's just because of where you live I suspect. I couldn't work or get my DC to school or get to the shops without a car. My choice of course but having a car allows me to live rurally in a place I love. For people like me, it is life changing.

Congratulations on passing.

aliceyyyy2654 · 08/07/2026 13:43

Flamingojune · 08/07/2026 13:43

I'm sure there are lots of impatient angry drivers on the road who passed first time. They're the ones to be wary of

oh absolutely! Plenty of terrible drivers in general on the roads these days

Countbinface39 · 08/07/2026 13:43

aliceyyyy2654 · 08/07/2026 13:42

That’s alright, I passed first time but I do think there should be a limit or at least an extended test for those who keep failing

Aw, congratulations. Revel in your excellence.

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aliceyyyy2654 · 08/07/2026 13:43

Countbinface39 · 08/07/2026 13:43

Aw, congratulations. Revel in your excellence.

I will ❤️

EwwSprouts · 08/07/2026 13:44

It's not just remote places though. You can live in city and not have a public transport option to get to work on an industrial estate on the edge of the city for a 6.30am shift start. I think it's essential for things like health appointments too. One of the major hospitals in this area is not in the city and has really poor links.

Countbinface39 · 08/07/2026 13:44

Flamingojune · 08/07/2026 13:43

I'm sure there are lots of impatient angry drivers on the road who passed first time. They're the ones to be wary of

Exactly. I think this person believes they're a better driver for passing first time.

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Periperi2025 · 08/07/2026 13:44

I couldn't live where i live (rural wales) or have my career (paramedic) without driving, so I'd definetly say driving is worth the hype.

Also whilst you don't rely on other people giving you a lift you do rely on many many other people's ability to drive - delivery drivers, uber drivers, paramedics, bin men, bus drivers etc etc - so driving is defiently not overhyped as as an essential life skill for the majority of the population.

Aside from that I think there should be a limit to the number of attempts at passing a driving test that are allowed, 8 is far to many, nervous, inconsistent and unpredictable drivers are a danger to others, especially now that you are saying you won't actually do it much, so will quickly be out of practice.

BirdLandedonmyHead · 08/07/2026 13:44

Part of the irony is... people drive as public transport is bad... but public transport is bad due to the number of cars on the road.