To think driving is very hyped up?

[Countbinface39]

I recently passed my test at almost 40. It took me 8 attempts, I'd had lessons on and off over the years and resigned myself to not driving. It was a relief to pass, not because I desperately needed to drive but because of the social pressure.
I am glad I have the option and don't have to do it again, I genuinely believed I wasn't cut out for driving.
There's a lot of hyperbole around driving which didn't help. I had people telling me I'd 'finally get my independence' when I passed. I own my own house, lived alone abroad for years, completely financially independent.
Also 'your life will finally start!' I'd like to think it started many years ago! I've never lived in very remote areas so luckily I wasn't heavily reliant on it, I never got lifts. I paid for ubers etc. But that's hardly the same as someone giving you a free lift!
I think a lot of people project their own experience onto you- they're maybe thinking of being 17 and relying on parents to get anywhere.
Driving has certainly given me more options, but it's hardly this magic carpet- still have to pay for the car, insurance, deal with dangerous drivers, parking, traffic etc- people always forget those things!
Someone even said my partner must 'have the upper hand' in our relationship because he had a car, which is ridiculous. People work as a team, you could apply that logic to anything, people who earn more, etc.
Anyway, rant over! I've got myself a cheap little runner that gets me from A to B, that's another thing some people comment on, if it's under 10k,15k, whatever it's going to fall apart the minute you get into it. More nonsense, i think the stress of being the only non-driver got to me, i felt like it was a very normal part of life I'd never get to do, but I'm glad I've got it.

Took me 5 attempts to pass and I finally did at aged 20. It was a massive deal. For me driving is worthy of the hype. I would not have had the same life had a not been able to drive. Always lived rurally and never worked in a city centre so I just wouldn’t have had the same job opportunities. I live in the countryside now and drive the kids 10 miles to school everyday. I adore where I live and the beauty is that it’s quiet but then there are no buses whatsoever. Uber is problematic.

There is no way I could rely on public transport - nor could anyone I know. If you live and work in a city then it’s much easier. But our local hospital is on the outskirts of the city and is a pain for those living in the city to access it.

This is why it's generally a good idea not to put oneself in the position of being dependant upon a car. It's a lot easier to give up when the time comes if you're already familiar with good alternatives.

This is the most insane comment. That’s like saying - make your life deliberately difficult for decades just so that when you reach the grand old age of 90+ it won’t be such a shift. How totally ridiculous. Being inconvenienced by a lack of car your entire life does not suddenly mean the alternatives to a car are a palatable alternative. They aren’t. It’s going to be shit whether you’ve been stuck catching the forever late, forever dirty, forever expensive bus carrying three bags of heavy shopping, for one year or twenty.

Yes but there are so many places where there are no good alternatives. That's the entire point, driving isn't hyped up because not driving is incredibly limiting, there's probably about half the country where you just can't live if you don't drive. Personally I'd not be limiting myself in that way unless it was absolutely necessary and I certainly wouldn't give up my home and community until I absolutely had to.

Someone who couldn’t drive could still live in your village, It has never been easier to live a full life without setting foot out the door if you had to.

I get it’s different if you have kids of course.

If you have a compatible lifestyle, you can live in the remotest corners of the country even if you can’t drive (so long as you have decent WiFi). Working from home, Zoom, online shopping - sorted.

@Anarchy99 It’s not possible when the NHS doesn’t come to you. Or anythjng else you might need. Plus staying in all the time is a very poor way to live in terms of enjoyment of life.

I’m not advocating staying in all the time but just pointing out it is possible to live a decent life without needing to drive.

Of course someone probably wouldn’t move somewhere like you live without being able to drive. I would hate to live in a village but that’s mainly because of people knowing everyone else’s business!

If I could drive, my life would have taken me in a different direction and there’s a massive possibility that I wouldn’t be doing the job I adore now, due to a specific set of circumstances last year which led to massive changes in my life.

I hate not being able to drive. Hopefully I can pass this year.

This is a bonkers thread. Being able to drive doesn’t deprive you of other choices - using trains, buses, bikes or walking. Neither does it deprive you of choices about where to live or work. Being unable to drive, does deprive you, obviously, of the choice to drive! Clearly some people are happy not having the choice - but many of us prefer the option.

I agree with this. Of course it’s fine to choose not to drive but it’s mad to suggest that someone who doesn’t drive has all the options that a driver does.

I drive, but I get the bus to work at times as that can be easier. Ok days I need to get home quicker or go somewhere after work I drive. It’s great to have the choice.

we are going to a wedding next week. It takes 6 hours to drive, 14 hours on the train and would be 6 hours to fly (due to proximity of airports and waiting around). Flying would cost £600 (and of course there’s hotels to pay on top of that).

Obviously the best option is to drive.

My point is that it isn’t necessary for everyone. Long before I learnt that I would never be able to pass my test, I had no need for it.

Not being able to drive led to a ‘sliding doors’ moment last year whereby I now have the job I have always wanted.

It depends on your life and how you want to live it. The difference between being able to drive and not is hundreds of pounds in lessons/test.

I have a genuinely dangerous sense of direction even with satnav - sometimes it’s better all round if someone never passes their test.

Your reading comprehension needs work. No one is stopping you from owning a car, just saying that it's worth arranging your life (or particularly your retirement) such that you can get to everywhere you need to go regularly without one if you needed to. Then hanging up the keys once you become to old to drive becomes much easier and you're less likely to kill someone because you put the decision off.

where you live makes a huge difference, in rural or smaller towns, not having a car is very limiting and adds hours to transportation time because public transport is infrequent, unreliable and in many cases non existent.

And if you have no reason to travel (or can’t afford a car) then it’s easy enough.

Or you could simply save the equivalent you would spend on a car in a month in a separate travel account and use that?

Absolutely fair enough that driving is very convenient but I do find it strange that people are making out like driving is a no-cost and no-stress endeavour.

I know people spending in excess of £500/month on their car/petrol/maintenance etc. Save the equivalent and you’ll have £6k/year for all the taxis you want.

My bus travel last month (including going to work, socialising, date nights etc.) cost £50. My next holiday involves travelling up to the Highlands. A return ticket on the train will cost me £100, and the train journey is only 1 hour longer than the equivalent car journey.

People without cars do still have lives.

Then you wouldn’t live in a rural town if you can’t drive. Surely people choose where they are going to live based upon their lifestyle?

i disagree that it would have been worth arranging my life since age 17 around never needing to drive a car.

At the end of the day, if you can guarantee that you will always be in good enough health and with enough money to drive then great. It works for you and your life

That’s too bad for the country mice. The answer to that conundrum is don’t live in the boon docks

Can you imagine the state of the country if everyone moved to the cities with good public transport? House prices crazy. Schools over-subscribed. Hospitals and GP surgeries even more inaccessible with long waiting lists, etc etc. Combined with huge swathes of the country being abandoned ghost towns. There's a limit to how many people can realistically live in the cities. Any form of "movement" from the regions/rural areas into cities would have very serious implications for the entire country.

Batshit🤣 No one can guarantee they will always be able to drive. But what I wrote was that I didn’t want to arrange my entire adult life around never driving. I’ve been driving for 45 years (as well as using trains, buses, my bike and my feet) and it’s definitely given me broader choices in many situations. If one day I have to stop driving then of course I’d have that particular option removed. If I’d had some medical reason whereby I could never drive, or if I found it too difficult or scary then obviously I would never have had that option at all.

That makes absolute sense, @carpedentum. There are no guarantees in life - I was a regular driver, until long covid left me disabled. I am lucky that dh is still fit and happy to do all the driving, but I have already started to think about how we would cope if he couldn’t drive any more.

Why would I choose not to drive now, just in case I can’t do it in the future? I enjoy the independence it gives me and my family right now.