To think driving is very hyped up?

[Countbinface39]

I recently passed my test at almost 40. It took me 8 attempts, I'd had lessons on and off over the years and resigned myself to not driving. It was a relief to pass, not because I desperately needed to drive but because of the social pressure.
I am glad I have the option and don't have to do it again, I genuinely believed I wasn't cut out for driving.
There's a lot of hyperbole around driving which didn't help. I had people telling me I'd 'finally get my independence' when I passed. I own my own house, lived alone abroad for years, completely financially independent.
Also 'your life will finally start!' I'd like to think it started many years ago! I've never lived in very remote areas so luckily I wasn't heavily reliant on it, I never got lifts. I paid for ubers etc. But that's hardly the same as someone giving you a free lift!
I think a lot of people project their own experience onto you- they're maybe thinking of being 17 and relying on parents to get anywhere.
Driving has certainly given me more options, but it's hardly this magic carpet- still have to pay for the car, insurance, deal with dangerous drivers, parking, traffic etc- people always forget those things!
Someone even said my partner must 'have the upper hand' in our relationship because he had a car, which is ridiculous. People work as a team, you could apply that logic to anything, people who earn more, etc.
Anyway, rant over! I've got myself a cheap little runner that gets me from A to B, that's another thing some people comment on, if it's under 10k,15k, whatever it's going to fall apart the minute you get into it. More nonsense, i think the stress of being the only non-driver got to me, i felt like it was a very normal part of life I'd never get to do, but I'm glad I've got it.

I haven't had people say to me the things they said to OP. Friends and family were pleased for me that I passed. I was was happy to be able to take my children anywhere I wanted to, woods, beaches, parks

I can also visit whoever I want, go to the tip when I want, buy and move furniture etc. Life with a car is expensive but so are buses and taxis etc.
My daughter just passed her test, with my encouragement despite the cost. I think it'll limit her potential earnings not having a car. It's a very useful skill that opens up options in my mind.

I agree with you OP. Similarly to you I spent years learning to drive and had 7 tests (I think?) before I passed; I didn’t really need it day to day but thought would be useful to have the choice. I live in a city and can use public transport or taxis for most things and also my husband drives so he can do the dump runs etc.

however I then got diagnosed with a heart condition that has meant my licence has been suspended for at least two years - it doesn’t affect me too much but I often think what it would be like for people who rely on their car to get anywhere - I have lots of friends and colleagues who would be goosed without a licence and wouldn’t be able to get to work/school/ anywhere! So it’s a also a risk to rely on having a licence and setting your life up around that…

I have to drive as I live rurally and it would be difficult to get anywhere. However I have a 16 year old van that is totally reliable and nearly on 200,000 miles. Recently looked into getting a newer one and realised I am much better off staying put. My mechanic said I would be silly to get rid of it and wouldn't get much for it. Newer ones seem to have lots of problems!

If you live very rurally driving is v important though?

Anxiety and nerves have an impact of driving safety every time you get behind the wheel.

Not just "remote" areas!

We live in the middle of a kind of triangle between two towns and a small city. Public transport is useless in evenings and weekends. There's a virtual 24 hour service between the city Uni and one of the towns, but nothing on any other routes early mornings or late nights. No bus route at all to our retail park, so workers there have to either drive, walk, cycle or cadge lifts from drivers. Our village is large (7,000 inhabitants) but we don't have a bus service through the village centre - the only bus stops are on the by-pass which are not suitable for disabled/OAPs etc due to a long walk either on narrow single track roads or across fields! Our city's council pool and sports centre is likewise edge of town and not on a bus route either!

In the city my son used to work/live, the "last" bus back from the city centre to the residential area where he lived was a ridiculously early 10.30!

Public transport is surprisingly poor in lots of towns and smaller cities. If you don't drive and can't cadge lifts, you're options are severely limited when it comes to socialising, sports, amenities, shopping etc. Even more so with the continuing trend for most things to leave the city/town centres and move to out of town sites, whether shops, professional offices, vets, cinemas, etc.

most drivers would fail their test miserably if they had to retake it today, we all know that 😂

Being overly confident means you are a horrible driver. Sadly they seem to congregate for the school run!

I passed my test at 17. Drove for 10 years then had to surrender my licence at 27 due to uncontrolled epilepsy. 10 years later I got it back again thanks to new meds.

I live 6.5 miles outside of Belfast. To get a bus in it takes 47 minutes.
A train less but the station is a 25 min walk away from my house and I am disabled and cant walk that far.

Having a car (i can now only drive an automatic) means I can shop, go to appointments, visit people , live a life.

We are a one car family and the days DH has the car i see a big difference in what I do - would definitely be different for healthy people though.

To get to a hospital appointment it takes at least 90 minutes on public transport and about £25 each way in a taxi.

I am not at all rural. Public transport in NI is expensive and sporadic. Time is a big factor especially if trying to travel.outside peak hours

My DC goes to school very near the city centre. He gets on the bus at the depot. He has get a bus over an hour before school starts to travel less than 6 miles due to the bus route. Most mornings the bus is late. Its NI so Most mornings its pissing with rain and he's waiting 10 or 15 minutes for the bus to leave at the first stop!!! So everyone on the route is delayed.

I don’t think driving is ‘very hyped up’ at all. Driving allows you greater choices. I’ve been driving since I was 17 (I’m almost 60 now.) I use public transport when it’s more convenient but there are many occasions when public transport would be a pain in the arse. There are roles I wouldn’t have been able to easily accept in my career without being able to drive to work. Not to mention the numerous nights out/ day trips/ giving my children and then years later my grandchildren lifts … Driving definitely increases independence, it’s odd to try to argue against that

I think it is depending on where you live.

I wouldn’t choose to live somewhere if there was no consistent public transport or nothing within walking distance. I don’t want to depend on a car. I think it is a privilege people don’t take serious enough with the amount of bad, inconsiderate drivers on the road who are a danger to everyone.

I doubt the constantly delayed, cancelled and crammed trains I experience are in any way to do with the volume of cars on the road (other than they cause more people to drive as the trains are unreliable).

do you feel better for getting that off your chest op? Tbh I’m surprised you care about “societal pressure” at 40 but there you go.

I live in the centre of a small city. Everything I need is 10 minutes walk away. My car doesn’t move from one week to the next. But I like having the car there for when I do need it. I can’t imagine not having that flexibility to be honest.

Very much this! Drivers have to worry about parking everywhere they go. I feel a lot more free just using public transport and Uber

I’m not sure I follow the logic of people who fail multiple times being a “danger”. Yes my driving skills were crap at first and it took me a long time to get good, but I did get good enough to pass the test so surely I’m at the same level as anyone else that passed at that time even if I wasn’t up to par the previous times?

there were big gaps between the tests so I have months more experience and practice each time.

Congratulations on passing your test! I'm slightly bemused at the thought process though of being happy to have finally passed your test and then coming onto MN to tell us that driving isn't all it's cracked up to be 😂

I don't know if you have kids, but if you do, it will surely be a game changer.

I’ve not been allowed to drive for 6 weeks due to hip surgery.
It’s definitely not overrated! I’m counting down the days until I can drive again. So is my DH has he’s had to do all the driving for DS and his sports as well as ferry me about!

I couldn't drive when the kids were little and even living in a city albeit a small city it was a complete ballache. Eg school drop off and getting to work took over an hour and a half, sometimes two hours! In a car the same journey is 20-25 minutes. There were loads of things we just didn't do, loads of places we never went to, because there was no regular transport or it involved five changes and cost £70 etc. Public transport outside London, Manchester, Birmingham is absolutely shit and really expensive for what it is. Driving has absolutely opened up all sorts of choices for me.

Driving is the epitome of freedom.

I think it’s a skill that everyone should have, if they are able. I know two people who can drive but don’t have cars and use public transport. But both are happy they can drive should they ever need to. Who knows when your circumstances can change.

Maybe you’re not a ‘natural’ driver, if it took you 8 attempts. That might sway your feelings too.

It sounds like fewer people should be driving. Maybe it's not such an essential skill, more of a liability. The government should invest in more public transport and bike lanes.

I agree. I don't actually drive much these days as I walk and cycle due to choosing to locate my business in an office relatively close to home. Maybe once or twice a week, and other than that it's for days out/holidays etc.

But when younger it really did give me freedom. I took my first lesson on my 17th birthday and passed around six months later. At my school sixth form, it was a rite of passage to learn to drive as the bus service was useless. Literally dozens of old bangers parked on the streets around the school as people passed their tests! It enabled me to get better jobs in further away towns/cities, it enabled me to go to evening classes in the next city (our city colleges didn't do accountancy!) - impossible to have done the journey by bus/train as I worked to 5 pm and then the lessons finished at 9pm - buses and trains couldn't have got me there/back. My best job once qualified was at a factory literally in the middle of nowhere an hour away - not on a bus route - the train would have taken at least 2 hours each way and the train station was a few miles away from the factory! Simply impossible. That was my most influential job in terms of pay, experience, making contacts, etc. I wouldn't be where I am today if I'd have had to stay in crap local employers because I had to rely on walking/cycling or buses!

My DS was exactly the same with his sixth form - first lesson aged 17, passed a few months later, him and most the other upper sixth drove to school as otherwise it was a two hour trek for him, just to get to school around 5 miles from home due to the crap buses. He'd had a skin full of doing that for six years, so couldn't wait to drive when he was 17!

It's definitely affected by how good public transport is in your area, but on the whole I do think there's a huge sense of independence that comes with being able to drive and owning a car. I wouldn't want to live my life without it. It's just an extra level of hassle having to use public transport all the time. The only place in the UK I probably wouldn't bother with a car is central London.

I chose not to drive, have great public transport where I live. I really couldn't be bothered with the hassle of limited parking when out, incompentant drivers, costs and the rest of it. But each to their own.
I'm very happy being carless, can't miss what I haven't had or wanted.

My 17 year old would disagree 😂. It does give them freedom. Less than 3 months of lessons and passed first time, he's super calm behind the wheel.
He's off camping next week and can go to all the nice golf courses outside the city now instead of lugging his clubs on public transport. He can travel further for jobs as well and get himself home.
Also given me as a parent my time back but also a lot of worry - double edged sword I suppose.
I personally love driving, hope I never have to stop.

I don't trust anyone who hasn't scratched or prangued their car at least once.

Or you've just driven in very open spaces.