To think driving is very hyped up?

[Countbinface39]

I recently passed my test at almost 40. It took me 8 attempts, I'd had lessons on and off over the years and resigned myself to not driving. It was a relief to pass, not because I desperately needed to drive but because of the social pressure.
I am glad I have the option and don't have to do it again, I genuinely believed I wasn't cut out for driving.
There's a lot of hyperbole around driving which didn't help. I had people telling me I'd 'finally get my independence' when I passed. I own my own house, lived alone abroad for years, completely financially independent.
Also 'your life will finally start!' I'd like to think it started many years ago! I've never lived in very remote areas so luckily I wasn't heavily reliant on it, I never got lifts. I paid for ubers etc. But that's hardly the same as someone giving you a free lift!
I think a lot of people project their own experience onto you- they're maybe thinking of being 17 and relying on parents to get anywhere.
Driving has certainly given me more options, but it's hardly this magic carpet- still have to pay for the car, insurance, deal with dangerous drivers, parking, traffic etc- people always forget those things!
Someone even said my partner must 'have the upper hand' in our relationship because he had a car, which is ridiculous. People work as a team, you could apply that logic to anything, people who earn more, etc.
Anyway, rant over! I've got myself a cheap little runner that gets me from A to B, that's another thing some people comment on, if it's under 10k,15k, whatever it's going to fall apart the minute you get into it. More nonsense, i think the stress of being the only non-driver got to me, i felt like it was a very normal part of life I'd never get to do, but I'm glad I've got it.

Agreed

I think it’s an important life skill, because it gives you more choice in life, in the same way gaining qualifications gives you more choices. I don’t think driving is overhyped, it’s just one of many skills that make life easier.

Well luckily there isn't a limit. So you 'thinking there should be' will not change anything. As I said, really nothing to be smug over for passing quickly. But if that's what gets you through the day, great.

I'm certainly no driving fan (although it'd would have been very difficult not to drive living in some of the places I have lived) but there really is no downside to being able to drive. Once you have passed your test you have the option, as you say, but you may frequently choose to travel in different ways.

I've been driving over 40 years and I'm still thankful every time I put my seatbelt on and start up the engine. Passing my test all those years ago did change my life. I was able to drive away from an abusive relationship and make a fresh start.

I live in a small midlands city. There are two trains an hour to London but the bus to the next town (where the cinema is) stops at 7pm. The city doesn't have its own hospital and there are no direct buses to any of the local hospitals, each one involves minimum two buses and at least an hour. Being able to drive is not hyped here. It's essential and I do often think about how difficult life must be for people who don't drive or can't afford to run a car. Public transport here is a joke.

Taxis are an option

I have two dc.

one lives in London. He can drive but he doesn’t need to because the public transport is good,

one lives in the middle of nowhere. She can’t drive and she uses a wheelchair - and the buses round here are “we’ll send a wheelchair accessible one if we can but it might not be”.
she once couldn’t get on a bus due to it not being wheelchair accessible and the next one was three hours. Fortunately she was at the bus station and a kind driver lived out our way and took her in one of the wheelchair accessible ones but she doesn’t really use them now for obvious reasons……

I think somewhere there is data proving that those who didn’t pass first time are less likely to be in an accident. The same as those who have done a speed awareness course are likely to become better drivers.

It doesn’t really matter how many times it takes to pass as long as they eventually pass?

when I was younger it was always the ones who past first time that went out and took a corner too fast a week after passing and totalled their cars (my brother being one of them).

I cycle everywhere locally and drive to places at the weekend (hill walking, mountain biking ate). While having a car is no big deal in my life I have many friends who can drive but decided to sell their car for pompous environmental reasons, but then are always grovelling for lifts to the hills at the weekend. There’s no point not having a car if it’s going to impede you living your life to the extent you want to.

Driving has certainly given me more options, but it's hardly this magic carpet- still have to pay for the car, insurance, deal with dangerous drivers, parking, traffic etc- people always forget those things!

I think driving becomes the norm so you take it for granted, but it's enormously useful. Driving isn't a right, it's a privilege. Wanky but true.

People don't forget paying those fees, it just becomes normal. My road tax is on direct debit, my MOT is calendarised, my car insurance is super cheap as I have 20+ years no claims bonus.

It's not smugness over passing quickly, it is 20 years of seeing the damage that a motorvehicle can do to a human body, and 20 years of seeing how incapable of seeing, planning and reacting to a bluelight vehicle or just a larger vehicle on the road that some drivers are.

Right, but passing 1st time has nothing to do with that. Passing 1st time doesn't make you immune.

Luckily in 15 years I’ve never had an accident or a speeding ticket! Touch wood 😂

I was in a different situation. Virtually every teenager learned to drive where I used to live as it is quite rural and transport links were (and still are) rubbish so like you said it was pretty necessary
I live in a city now but tbh public transport is still pretty rubbish. My eldest is learning to drive, she can get to work by bus but it takes 50 minutes plus ten minutes walking each end but by car it's about 15 minutes. So I do think it is a good skill to have and it is much easier than relying on public transport, usually quicker too. No-one ever said to me my life would begin or I'd be free when I learned to drive because it is bollocks. It's just driving nothing more.

My brother has managed to make it to 50 without ever learning to drive. He has literally no interest in doing so. He’s organised his life around using public transport and also walks loads. Admittedly he has no children.

I learned in my 20s and it did give me a lot more options re work and lifestyle but it has alsomade me really lazy.

I do think driving gives you more freedom and independence, I don't really think there are major negatives that a similar distance on public transport wouldn't come with. Yes there's a cost but that's hardly a secret.

I personally would hate to not be able to drive. Yes I walk a lot, cycle and use public transport but none of these options give as much flexibility as driving

I think there is a vast difference between passing on the 2nd attempt and the 8th attempt. One or two fails can be bad luck, normal nervousness, or overconfidence resulting in booking the test too soon. 7 fails is a pattern.

Well done OP, I took 6 goes to pass my driving test due to nerves. I drive daily now and am a perfectly capable driver. You have as much right to be on the road as everyone the passed first time (and have probably had more lessons than them so I expect you're better at it than they were when they first passed).

Assuming you have access to a car, passing your driving test always gives you more options that not passing. I think it's difficult to separate cause and effect when it comes to how much driving actually changes your life though. Some locations and lifestyles work much better without a car than others. But your life choices around where you live and work can be shaped by the transport options available to you.

Non-drivers who have never learnt (excluding for medical reasons) choose to abdicate responsibility for safety of themselves and others, to others. The bus driver, the train driver, the taxi driver, their partner, etc. Until you learn to drive you don’t fully realise/appreciate how that responsibility is a heavy mantle. Once you have learnt, you can choose to drive or not drive, but that capability and knowledge is part of you.

Right, luckily your opinion is not fact. I'm not sure what you're trying to achieve, should I immediately return my car and surrender your licence because of what you think?

People who have absolutely zero concept of how anxiety, nerves and so on can affect driving tests..

I have seen the reverse far too often.

People smug about driving and their car, and organising their life around it. Fair enough, but then when they suddenly cannot drive for whatever reason, sometimes for a very long time. Then they are completely stuck and it's a nightmare.

I would never rely on my car that badly. If I need to drive to work, fine, but I can always change job if I am suddenly unable to drive.

I think it's dangerous to settle in the middle of nowhere and not considering how you'll manage the day you lose your licence or have an illness.

Not quite the same, bus/taxi drivers are choosing to transport people for money, nobody's forced them into this work.

Where did I say I passed first time (I've done 5 tests and passed 3 - Car x2, C1x2, D1). I don't think anyone would suggest a past first time only rule, but I think if you need more than 4 or 5 then you have demonstrated a consistent pattern in your low driving skills/ ability.