To think driving is very hyped up?

[Countbinface39]

I recently passed my test at almost 40. It took me 8 attempts, I'd had lessons on and off over the years and resigned myself to not driving. It was a relief to pass, not because I desperately needed to drive but because of the social pressure.
I am glad I have the option and don't have to do it again, I genuinely believed I wasn't cut out for driving.
There's a lot of hyperbole around driving which didn't help. I had people telling me I'd 'finally get my independence' when I passed. I own my own house, lived alone abroad for years, completely financially independent.
Also 'your life will finally start!' I'd like to think it started many years ago! I've never lived in very remote areas so luckily I wasn't heavily reliant on it, I never got lifts. I paid for ubers etc. But that's hardly the same as someone giving you a free lift!
I think a lot of people project their own experience onto you- they're maybe thinking of being 17 and relying on parents to get anywhere.
Driving has certainly given me more options, but it's hardly this magic carpet- still have to pay for the car, insurance, deal with dangerous drivers, parking, traffic etc- people always forget those things!
Someone even said my partner must 'have the upper hand' in our relationship because he had a car, which is ridiculous. People work as a team, you could apply that logic to anything, people who earn more, etc.
Anyway, rant over! I've got myself a cheap little runner that gets me from A to B, that's another thing some people comment on, if it's under 10k,15k, whatever it's going to fall apart the minute you get into it. More nonsense, i think the stress of being the only non-driver got to me, i felt like it was a very normal part of life I'd never get to do, but I'm glad I've got it.

It really depends where you live, some places have more public transport than others.

For example, I live in a small city and my office is 2 miles away which is an 8 minute drive. If I wanted to get public transport I’d have to get 2 buses with short walks either end (total journey 28 mins), or a 10 minute bus with a 30 minute walk at one end (so 40 mins total journey).

When I lived in Edinburgh there was a bus stop opposite my flat that would take me to a stop round the corner from my office - and the buses were every 10 minutes.

One of my friends has never driven because she’s always lived in places with good transport options or that are walkable.

YABU. I love the freedom and independence of driving, have done ever since I learned at 17. However, since having young children I am eternally grateful I could drive. Situations like attending hospital appointments with one child then making it back across town to collect my other child from school on time were made significantly less stressful due to the sheer convenience of being able to drive between them. I usually walk when possible, but I would never be without the option to get to my children as quickly as possible in an emergency. Driving is freeing.

I still get a thrill when I grab my car keys: independence is what it is! I relied on others when I couldn’t drive. I don’t understand when people who don’t drive claim to be fully self reliant. Seriously? Maybe it’s just me and the people I know!

But what happens when drivers have to give up driving? Would it be difficult for them as they then have to learn to adapt to a new way of living and getting about, possibly with added health issues?
Anyone been in this situation and how are you getting on? Just interested to know.

There are obviously downsides to both, but flexibility and freedom to travel when/where you want, with no regard to public transport routes or timetables is obviously a benefit of driving.
I’m a driver married to a non-driver (not allowed a licence for medical reasons) and he clearly has less freedom. He gets around just fine. But he needs the bus/train to be running, needs to check the timetables, he works to their schedules, not what he’d prefer etc.

You could just as easily say “non drivers don’t look very free standing around waiting for the bus”

Why??

I’ve scraped my car. It was a stupid thing to do, and certainly not a sign that my driving should be more trusted than if I hadn’t done it!

The patient i had who had just killed his wife and child said to me he had never so much as pranged a car before (he was in his 30s), one momentary lapse of concentration and his family whole were dead.

When people chant: driving is freedom, driving is freedom, it almost feels like a cult. It wasn't a nice position to be in to be the only non-driver I know, it does a number on your mental health.

I agree with the poster... Keep off the M25 for a few years, please.

Ah, here's another one. Sure, I'll keep off it, just for you! So you can seamlessly drive down it in a perfect manner. Bravo.

You can invest as much as you like, but if there isn't a train station in your town, they're not going to build one, build the line to serve it etc., except for very rare instances, and it takes a decade or two anyway. Investment on trains is mostly on the existing infrastructure to make the trains run faster or more frequent - very rarely to actually create new routes/stations.

Likewise buses, granted, it's easier to change routes, put in new bus stops, etc., but it still takes years. We have a huge out of town Asda near us, built 30 years ago, and it was only put on the local bus service routes around 5 years ago and is only on one route, so people still have to change buses once or twice to get from where they live/work to the Asda! Before that, Asda themselves provided their own bus service which they ran if I remember rightly for two days a week during the peak of the day, no evenings or early mornings etc.

Cycle lanes are fine if you've the space, but cost a fortune to put alongside a busy, winding, hilly, country road, bridges, as you have to compulsory purchase adjoining farmland etc. So again takes a decade or two! The "easy wins" have already been done, i.e. wide long straight roads already often have cycle lanes incorporated, but they disappear as soon as the road narrows, or a junction, or a narrow bridge, etc.

The best cycle tracks are on old disused track beds of long closed railway lines as they're usually straight and level. Trouble is they often don't go anywhere useful, other than for pleasure, as the railway wouldn't have closed in the first place if it had been through built up areas, major towns, employment locations, etc. Most such railways closed because they were rural and therefore didn't get much use. So very few cycle paths on old railway track beds are useful for commuters, school children, etc.

A lapse of concentration by a bus or train driver can have the same consequence!

Yes because your ego is more important than the safety of others....

7 failures means you aren't ready for any motorway, let alone the M25. Darling :)

They've been investing in bike lanes where i am and narrowing the roads in the process...and no one uses them because
a) it is very hilly
b) it is wales and the weather is frequently horizontal rain
c) they haven't dealt with the actual danger point (one particular roundabout where many cyclists have been hit trying to get across the junctions)
d) it's a rural area so most people would be doing significant distances between outlaying villages and the main hub city (uni, hospital, major shops) which even with ebikes is a big ask.

'Darling' 😂😂 gosh, I know, my ego right. Why don't you contact my local driving test centre and ask them to revoke my pass immediately? There are about 4 of us on this thread who've failed over 6 times, are you going to address them in the same manner or is it just me you're picking on today?

I passed my test when I was 17 but always lived in cities so didn’t own a car til very recently, in my 30s. Occasionally we would rent a car for longer trips and my husband would do all the driving because I was very very nervous to get back to it.

I would walk or get public transport happily enough when I just had one child. When I got pregnant with my second I anticipated that being a nightmare with a baby and a toddler and so committed to regaining my confidence in driving.

For me it has been transformative, for all the reasons people have said it would be to you!

Even getting an Uber with two small children sounds very tricky as I guess you would need to pre book car seats - is that even a thing? - or take yours with you.

But if it’s of negligible benefit to you that’s fair enough! Congrats on passing your test 😁

I passed my test age 26, nearly 40 years ago, after many attempts and years of lessons. I honestly felt like I’d been given wings. I am so so glad I persevered. It’s not an understatement to say it transformed my life.

Definitely not the case where i live - there is very little public transport, my commute to work i hardly ever see any buses on the road when i drive - takes 2 hours. There is a train run by where i work, however some brainwave decided that the train from my nearest town which runs through it, does not stop there. You have to switch trains so wait for the second one and then get off at the stop - you are up to 3 and a half hours commute then. Sorry i am not adding any more time to my all ready long commute.
Where i live, i live close to a town, however apart the daily local bus going to next town at 11am , there is no public transport what so ever. Driving is a necessity here, as soon as kids turn legal age for driving they learn. We also have no taxi service or Uber here. If you wanna go anywhere that you cant walk to you need to drive

But nobody does that, do they?

Drive or don't drive, it's your choice. Drivers only care about others not driving when they are constantly cadging lifts or when they end up creating annoying, convoluted problems that would be easily solvable if they could drive.

Haven't started this thread to debate the maximum number of attempts someone should be allowed, it's completely irrelevant. Understand it's been transformative, life-changing and so on for many on here which is great, atm it isn't for me but it's useful to see other perspectives, not much more I can get from this really.

Different stages of life mean different needs.

We're just about to retire and are looking to move to a more suitable home closer to the centre of a town and on a bus route, walking distance to a supermarket, shops, GP surgery, etc. We don't know if and when we'll have to stop driving, but will be in a better position to cope without a car in a few years' time. But will keep our cars until we can't drive anymore.

But, at the start of our careers, going to colleges alongside full time work, working in non-town centre places, etc., a car was absolutely essential and our working lives, further education, etc would have been compromised without it. Same with hobbies, activities etc - virtually everything we did required a car as a lot of it was in remote locations. We'd have needed very different hobbies had we not had cars.

Likewise when we had DS, a car was virtually essential as where we lived wasn't in walking distance to a supermarket, school, GP surgery, etc and bus services were utter crap. I didn't fancy pushing a pram for a mile through single track roads and farmers fields to get to the by pass road where we could get the bus (no buses through the centre of our village despite it being a major A Road!).

The places we're looking at are also "level", so that we can use a wheelchair or mobility scooter if necessary to get to local amenities.

It's not people who drive sensibly on the M25 that are infuriating! They are not unsafe either, you just overtake them, complete non issue. That's what the so-called "fast lanes" are for.

It's the smug overly confident terrible drivers who are a menace. And the ones who cause accidents all the bloody time.

I've loved being a non-driver all my life. It's kept me fit (cycling and walking), independent (good public transport means I never need a lift) and has saved me so much in both money and carbon emissions. Honestly one of the best decisions I ever made

Passing a driving test is an achievement but it seems to have made you very cross OP. Maybe it's the heat. Have a celebratory Solero.

No. it's both groups of drivers, same as young drivers present increase risks associated with their age and pre-frontal cortex development but old people also present increased risk due to eye sight deteriotion, increasing reaction times, and underlying health conditions.

Two things can be true at the same time, and all these increased risks need to be managed appropriately.