Advisable to pay for childcare for 1 year old if dh on 70% pay, i am on 40k and we have mortgage £1250 in London

[Oneanddonemum2025]

Dh is on long term sick leave for complex medical reasons but he does care for our son now- changes his nappies, takes him out to give me a break, cooks his meals. He is on 70% of his previous income (75k) which works out to 50k. I was made redundant just before i got pregnant, worked a contract role during pregnancy and just got a new role paying less than what i previously earned (40k). Not happy with it but the job market is terrible and we have dipped far too much into savings due to dh's sick leave.

2 days at childcare would be around £300 with free hours (employees on sick leave qualify). Our mortgage is £1250 for a 2 bed flat. No student loans so take home around £5900..

Aibu to think we could save on childcare during this tight time or am i being stingy? Or is baby better off with his dad than a nursery worker though it may contribute to burnout. One thing is baby is still boob obsessed so one benefit of his father caring for him is dh says he will take him to my office during lunch breaks.

No it's not. Driving > tube, Doctors working > disabled husband. Full day care > half day (in this scenario). Genuinely 100% easier.

your husband isn't 'handing over' the baby. You'll be at work, he's going to have to get the child to daycare and it will be a massive rush and faff. I repeat - have you spent any time with toddlers? I don't think it's anything like you're picturing.

Plus the £7 on the return tube journey to drop the child off.
So between the tube and the coffee he’s sending almost £250 a month just to drop the child off at nursery!

Never mind the central London cafe’s opinion on feeding a toddler there daily and not buying food.

So what happens if a single parent is signed off? Are they no longer able to provide care to their children?

And it’s not childcare is it? It’s being a parent.

Thats the thing. A car lease is a commitment. A mortgage is a commitment. So is childcare. Due to my situation i try not to make any decisions that involve commitments.

Hence why i dont have a car and i have a mortgage on a small 2 bed flat. I paid over 2k for the deposit on an unfunded place that was supposed to start when baby was 6 months old in case i got a job and had to start early cos dh didnt have a job. But dh was on full sick pay and so we carried on plus i think baby still needed me at that age. I just kept postponing the start date and they were fine with it, most other nurseries probably wouldnt be. I initially postponed it to october as i thought i would start work in october but i got a job offer now and they want me to start in July. Realistically i have to take it up.
Dh and i are on not much more than minimum wage at 90k combined and while its important for us to have savings (very meagre af 24k), think its important to not lose every single pleasure in ljfe.

Well presumably if you're signed off sick from work you had childcare in place for your working hours and therefore the children continue to go to childcare while you recover? I was signed off for 4 months a few years ago and my kids continued going to after school club. In this situation, the family is planning around an assumption that the father will not be returning to work and if he does feel up for it in 6 months or 12 months or whatever, he won't actually be able to because he's taking care of his toddler during working hours. Very different situation.

I imagine they make it work because they have few other options, and it probably hinders their recovery and return to work in the process. Considering the OP initially posted about money worries, it seems madness to have her exhausted DH not prioritising his recovery so that he can think about returning to work, and instead rushing about with a toddler when he doesn’t need to.

I think I must just know different sorts of people as I don't think most of my friends (or us!) have anywhere near £24K in savings. That's years and years of childcare payments.

We can always increase or decrease hours. We were technically signed up to full time hours in January but we postponed it twice. So technically if dh could care for baby, we willl just postpone it to when he is likely to start work in best case scenario and reevaluate 1 month in advance. We paid a deposit before baby was born.

Well then I'd change it to two full-days and stop all this faffing. You bring the baby to nursery, then evaluate if your husband is capable of 3 days a week running around after a crazy tiny person. I would guess that will be short lived but sounds like you can add more days in later. Very lucky! I had to pick my days at 12 week's pregnant and couldn't change anything after that.

Tell me you don't have a toddler yet, without telling me you don't have a toddler yet.

Your plan is widly naive, a toddler is nothing like a 3 month old or a crawling 11 month old. You don't realize it yet that that was the easy bit. But you do you.

It makes much more sense to do mornings or 2 longer days. Doing afternoons at that age with a long journey back in rush hour four times a week really is the worst deal.

I do agree that you need childcare. When mine were toddlers I felt like going to work was a break! And I have a very full on job!

Yes its lucky which is why we picked this nursery. They were more flexible which is what we needed not knowing our work situation. Need to give 30 days notice.

“Dh and i are on not much more than minimum wage at 90k combined”

Oh stop.

That did make me giggle.

Just checked - London has a higher min wage but a full-time min wage worker would bring in around £28K. So two full-time min wage workers would be £52K. Just about half the take home for the OP (considering there's no commuting costs for one of them probably exactly half)

Not sure what the point of the thread is as you are contradicting everyone. So my advice yes I agree with you, fantastic idea, go ahead. Baby is bound to love everything you suggest and DH will be fine. Well done on having such a great income to mortgage ratio and sorting out such an amazing education plan. Did I miss anything?

This is true but it’s so early

lunch 11/1130
nap 12
tea 330

ive never understood why they don’t do
lunch 12/1230
nap 1-3
tea 430/5

those who have a snacky tea 330 ish then have another tea at home with parents

I think your Dc should go to childcare.
Your dh may have the energy to take dc out to give you a break , but you probably had done a lot to organise that trip out for them.
Your dh may well find its different when he's in sole charge of a child.
Also , brain fog and a history of seizures may get worse with tiredness

Crikey someone (double) jumped the shark there. (1) £90k combined being nearly minimum wage and (2) £24k in savings, when you have a small child being 'very meagre' savings.

What planet does the OP live on?

wtf. Not on much more then minimum wage at £90k

min wage for 40hrs is 26,436.80 x 2 is just under £53

you have another nearly £40k in wages on top of that

your salary is nowhere near min wage

whatever anyone suggests you disagree

a baby is not a toddler and will be different and harder

if dh gets tired and possibly fuzzy headed - how will he manage to carry a toddler in a sling /or carry fold up buggy

we have all had experience of toddlers and a baby is a doddle in comparison

as you go back to work and toddler wants you. Dh is left with a screaming tantruming toddler to then get to childcare

plus no cafe is going to be happy with you eating a packed lunch there and will need to buy drinks and a meal for toddler - which will cost extra each day

I know you want this to work but it’s a lot for dh to take on when he is signed off for exhaustion and medical grounds

I agree, and those were the timings we used to keep (if not slightly later), but if using nursery you don't have much choice but to stick to their timings.

I will eat the packed lunch in my office then meet dh and baby in cafe. We spent mosf of my maternity leave in cafes, they were always fine as long as you bought something.

Also when you are tired, nothing is worse fhan getting out of fhe door for 9 am start. Afternoon is better cos he can then slowly get the baby ready.

The nursery works with us to personalise the nap time to each child's schedule.

So baby, no toddler, will have a nap in the morning with DH and then have one with nursery?
Your mortgage relative to your wages is not that high. Rents around her in a very off the beaten track, certainly nowhere need London wages can be tht much for something decent.
you are risking your husband’s health and your baby’s safety for a short term saving.
I think you are very blasé about the whole thing. Don’t forget insurance companies do have fraud investigators and they might well believe that your husband’s claim is not that valid if he can do that much childcare and tube journeys every day.

Again - with a BABY. They will not be fine with a toddler flinging food on the floor and crying hysterically when you leave.

I really, really think you have to consider that your parenting experience is less than a year in duration. You've experienced almost nothing yet.

Well dh has often done daily tube trips with or without the baby so the fraud investigator will find that out anyway

nurseries have a set nap time. They can’t pander to all diff kids routines as just wouldn’t work

they have a set nap time

i jave never known a nurse has flexible as yours. Esp with adding on days /hours with notice.
What happens if they are full and can’t take any more on as then Be over ratio