Is it unusual that my husband says he never misses anyone?

[SlB09]

So during a conversation, my husband just said that he doesn't miss people other than he would miss me and our son. As in, he doesn't ever miss friends or family mum/sister (family live 5hrs away). He said that to him, missing someone is like to need something from them either emotionally or otherwise and he doesn't need anything from anyone ergo he doesn't miss anyone. He said about one of his best friend, 'if I never saw him again in my life I wouldn't miss him, yes it would be sad but I wouldn't miss anyone'

I miss many people! And it's not that I need something from them,I just like how it feels to be around them, or chat with them, or to share something with them etc! I like seeing my family and spending time with them, I miss them if I don't see them for a while for example. I have friends that live the other end of the country, I might see something we both would like and have a little wish you were here missing them type moment.

I'm quite shocked that he wouldn't miss anyone or doesn't have that sense of loneliness if he's not seeing meaningful people etc - not sure if I'm just v needy now?!!!

I don't think either of you is wrong really. Some people need others and some don't. Me and my DW are in our late 30's and both feel the same as your husband. Other than my child and her I don't think I really need anyone. I have friends I see a couple of times a month and family I see about the same and would feel sad if could never see them again. But I don't think it would bother me for that long. But we've both always been happy in our own company.

I don’t miss anyone until I see them again and realise I have!

my brain just isn’t wired that way. Out of sight, really is out of mind though I try my best to not appear that way and check in with people who mean a lot to me.

Does he have ADHD? It's a common element of that

Same. I expect my DH is the same as well. We miss each other and I miss DS fiercely but I rarely miss other people in my life, even if it is nice to see them.

I’m the same. I miss my husband. I never miss anyone else really… might sound harsh but I just don’t.

Maybe my little nephew a little tiny bit. But I’d be perfectly fine if I couldn’t see any of them for ages… I went a year without seeing everyone but my husband once and didn’t ‘miss’ anyone or pine for their company.

Perhaps by 'miss' someone, he is thinking about whether he feels some kind of longing to see them again, or emotional distress at their absence. And since he doesn't feel strongly about it, he says he doesn't miss them.

Also, I meant to say - 'out of sight, out of mind'. Not all that unusual.

I very rarely miss specific people. Of they're not there I'm not thinking about them I suppose. But, I do need people, I really do. I'd love to live nearby to all my favourite people and just bump into them all the time.

I love all my friends and family but don't necessarily need to see them all that often, do I miss them? Not sure i do but I'd hate to move away!

I did move away and I never felt anything particularly about it. I love them but it didn’t hurt at all.

How long had you lived in that particular place? Must make a difference,

I'm an introvert.

If I had my way, the only people I'd see would be my husband and children - and even then it would be interspersed with plenty of solitude.

I would miss my husband if I didn't see him for (I'd guess at) a week or so. My children are older and as they get independent and move out, I won't miss them. Not because I don't care. Because they are growing to become independent adults and I prefer being silent and alone (but rarely get enough chance to indulge in that solitude).

Its just how I'm built. I'm not cold and uncaring, quite the opposite. But I don't need people, at all.

I don’t miss people I don’t see often. My db lives the other side of the country but I don’t miss him although it’s nice to see him. Even else’s dc who I see around once a month I don’t really miss inbetween

That's interesting.

Like many others on this thread, I don't 'miss people' when they aren't here.
I guess it is a sort of 'out of sight, out of mind'.
I have several friends and relatives I get on very well with, and enjoy spending time with when I see them, but can easily go for months, or even years without seeing them.
When I do see them, we just chat away as if I saw them the day before though.

It's not that I like solitude. I really enjoy being with people. Since retiring I make sure I do something every day, so I am with people and chat to them. I also often meet people for a coffee or lunch or to go to an event. Maybe the fact I have lots of other people I can spend time with means that there is no reason to be yearning for someone it isn't easy to spend time with at that stage of life, due to geography ?

I’d lived in my home town until I was 21. Moved 400 miles away and never moved back. I moved 3,000 miles away after that and then back to 400 miles away.

I don't tend to miss people, at least not in the way other people do. I'm autistic and I think it's linked to poor object permanence. If I don't see someone for a couple of months, my brain just files their existence away as not currently relivent.

It's not that I don't like the person. If I run into them again, I remember they exist and are awesome, and really enjoy seeing them. I don't consciously decide to foget them, but if your not around regularly, it could genuinely have been a feew weeks or decades since i saw you, both feel the same to me.

@UndoRedo I/we highly suspect so. Never related this to that though good point!

@BobbieTables me too!

Interesting topic. My dad passed away last year, I don't ever say I miss him but I do fondly think of him regularly and remember things we did. He was 92 and had a good life, he obviously wasn't going to live forever. good friend of mine who died during covid, fondly remember her regularly and wonder how life should have turned out for her but I'm not sure I could honestly say I miss her.

@sprog on the tyne thats so interesting re time passing!

I am definitely an introvert and like my solitude so I don't think it's anything to do with that for me, I think it's just that I love and care deeply for my important people and get to a point where I miss interacting with them. For some that's a few weeks, for some it's a few months and for some it's a year!

I don’t miss people either other than DH and my kids. I had a lot of loss early in my life and remaining family dispersed so I learned to live without them.

There was a time I did miss some people but when you say goodbye to a lot of people, you detach emotionally. Maybe it’s self preservation.

Same here

I don’t miss anyone, I’m more than happy with just my husband and kids, anyone else is just exhausting.
I like having me time.

I often wonder if I think about my friends and family more than they think about me, who knows what goes on in other peoples heads though

I am like this. When I don't see people close to me I genuinely feel nothing. They just aren't there.

DH always says he's missed me if we've been apart for some reason and asks if I have missed him. I'm honest and he gets huffy. DD has been away at Uni and while sometimes I have thought about her it's more in a 'I hope she's eating/sleeping/studying/making friends' than missing her.

I have wondered in the past if it's to do with neurodiversity.