Is it unusual that my husband says he never misses anyone?

[SlB09]

So during a conversation, my husband just said that he doesn't miss people other than he would miss me and our son. As in, he doesn't ever miss friends or family mum/sister (family live 5hrs away). He said that to him, missing someone is like to need something from them either emotionally or otherwise and he doesn't need anything from anyone ergo he doesn't miss anyone. He said about one of his best friend, 'if I never saw him again in my life I wouldn't miss him, yes it would be sad but I wouldn't miss anyone'

I miss many people! And it's not that I need something from them,I just like how it feels to be around them, or chat with them, or to share something with them etc! I like seeing my family and spending time with them, I miss them if I don't see them for a while for example. I have friends that live the other end of the country, I might see something we both would like and have a little wish you were here missing them type moment.

I'm quite shocked that he wouldn't miss anyone or doesn't have that sense of loneliness if he's not seeing meaningful people etc - not sure if I'm just v needy now?!!!

I'm a bit like this but I am always thinking of people close to me. I just don't feel a strong desire to see most people often.

I have an autistic friend who once told me that if he's not around people and doesn't hear from them he doesn't think about them at all.

This has nothing whatsoever to do with introversion.

@BirdyBedtime I can't imagine not missing my son when uni time comes along, but in a bad way, I'd prefer to think about more like you tbh!

My DH went away for 2 weeks just before easter i didnt miss him at all - which worries me as i know i should of. I loved my me time which i rarely get. He missed me though and wouldnt leave me alone for a good few weeks he has eased off a bit now but it made me realise how much i love my own space. He is very needy in our relationship and i am not - i love spending time together but wish i could sometimes have more alone time but it is very difficult when DH is around. I don't really miss people i don't see but if i was completely alone i might miss them i suppose interesting thread

Im the same. I dont miss anyone. I used to when I was younger but I don't now. Maybe trauma ?

@mugsandcups34 I actually don't miss my husband when he goes away tbh weirdly, I love eating and watching what I want it's like pure bliss, then he comes back and ruins my new routine 😂

I don’t miss people. Outside of my OH and boys, I don’t really give others a second thought if they aren’t in front of me.

If I go away for work I don’t miss my OH and boys, as I know I’ll be back home on a certain day and will see them. Of course I look forward to seeing them.

To me it doesn’t make sense to be missing someone.

I don't miss people. If DD is away, I worry about her, but I don't miss her. I can't really explain why, it's a bit like a pp said about object permanence - if they aren't there, they aren't in my current picture at all. I'm happy when I see my family or friends, but I don't miss them in a day to day way and (other than DD) it doesn't occur to me to contact them.

My best friend is like this. Doesn't wouldn't miss me or anyone apart from her kids. I miss her if I don't see her for two days! However, I often forget about more distant friends, when I remember them I miss them, but if I haven't seen them for a while, I just forget they are there!

I'm a bit like this too

It can be, object permanence but it doesn't happen for all with ADHD. I miss people regularly.

I have ADHD and I don’t miss people on the whole.

in fact - for those of you who do, I’d have to ask ‘what does it feel like’? My DD is at uni - like another PP said, I think ‘hope she’s okay, eating ok, getting enough sleep, etc’. Is that it?

I get like a bit of an ache sometimes when I miss certain people.

You will miss him loads at first but then kind of get used to it! Then he'll annoy you a bit when he comes back home by getting in your space. Then you'll miss him and feel sad when he goes back again! Well that's how it was for me anyway 😄

I feel the same. I like people, but I don't miss them. I'm glad to see them again if it's been a while, and I absolutely will miss my children when they move out, but for example family that has died I don't 'miss', it's like I just have instant acceptance that they're gone now.

I feel like missing people is self-indulgent and a waste of time (if I was going to put it harshly!)

I’m with your husband here I don’t really miss people other than my DH and my DC. I’ve always been quite happy with my own company. Some of us just aren’t built that way I guess.

What does missing someone feel like? I would say I dont miss people, my DD was in Australia for 6 months recently and I can’t say I missed her but I did worry slightly about them and hoped they were having the best time etc and wished at times that they were back home but the overwhelming feeling was I hoped they were living life to the full.

I’m not sure what missing someone is supposed to feel like - does my thinking about them and feel peace with what they are doing and that giving me warmth the same feelings as what someone might say is missing someone?

I’m with your DH. We live hours away from family, in the early days I missed the help with our small children, but I just don’t miss anyone outside of my nuclear family in the way you describe, with modern technology now it’s easy enough to talk to people.

I’m not ND to the poster saying that.

I have adhd and I don’t miss people at all,
not even children! I have felt very strange and guilty about it but since being diagnosed I have found many others like me. It’s not abnormal- does he have adhd?

This can be a neurodivergent thing. Like if you don’t see someone they sort of go out of your mind and then when you chat again it’s like no times past aNd you still get on but you don’t need that contact in between.

At the risk of barking up the wrong tree completely, is he ND? Sorry, it seems to be the cause of everything these days, but I did wonder. I'm a bit like your DH TBH. I rarely miss people. Sometimes I wonder about people had they/myself been in different circumstances, if we were still in touch etc, but mostly I let go of them quite easily. I'd be devastated to lose DH but I'd survive and sometimes imagine that scenario so I can prepare for it, should it happen.

My DH doesn’t miss people and I’d go as far as to say he doesn’t really miss me or the kids if he’s away either. He’s not a particularly reflective person. I find it kind of amusing as he’s not a particularly independent type and he doesn’t really socialise very much unless it’s organised for him. He’s very content with his own company and deep in his own interests.

I’m exactly the same and I’m not sure why. I love my friends but I don’t miss them. I can go a year without seeing them. I don’t even miss my partner and grown up children when they’re away. I was in bits when my daughter went uni and within a few weeks I was fine. I love her obviously and thought about her every day. I saw something once that said either adhd or autism causes people to be like this so maybe it’s that or I’m a psychopath!

When our oldest child, DD, went off to uni, after a month and a half, I said to DH, “Do you ever miss her?” He said, “No, why would I? She’s where she should be.” Well, yes. He’s right. But I still miss her. She’d been a lovely presence in the house for 18 years, then she was suddenly gone. Even though she is where she should be, it seems odd to me that he doesn’t miss her. He’s just like that. As a side note, she told me that she sometimes gets homesick. “I’m used to having 3 people (DH, me, and younger brother) telling me, ‘Goodnight. I love you.” She’ll be fine. But DH not missing her at all, I accept, but I don’t get it.

Ha- Yes! Dh is going away Wednesday and I love it. He does get on my nerves and he knows it. He even says I will have my peace and quiet when he leaves and I say yes. Well, two teen DS one autistic isn't really my idea of peace and quiet but I will be the only adult and it's very relaxing. Never miss him when he's away. Do I love him? Yes. But after 25 years together it's very nice to spend time apart.