Is it unusual that my husband says he never misses anyone?

[SlB09]

So during a conversation, my husband just said that he doesn't miss people other than he would miss me and our son. As in, he doesn't ever miss friends or family mum/sister (family live 5hrs away). He said that to him, missing someone is like to need something from them either emotionally or otherwise and he doesn't need anything from anyone ergo he doesn't miss anyone. He said about one of his best friend, 'if I never saw him again in my life I wouldn't miss him, yes it would be sad but I wouldn't miss anyone'

I miss many people! And it's not that I need something from them,I just like how it feels to be around them, or chat with them, or to share something with them etc! I like seeing my family and spending time with them, I miss them if I don't see them for a while for example. I have friends that live the other end of the country, I might see something we both would like and have a little wish you were here missing them type moment.

I'm quite shocked that he wouldn't miss anyone or doesn't have that sense of loneliness if he's not seeing meaningful people etc - not sure if I'm just v needy now?!!!

Is he an only child? Are you?

I’m a misser, DH is not. He misses the kids and I when he’s away but apart from that, out of sight, out of mind. Meanwhile I miss my parents if I haven’t seen them for a couple of days!

I have ADHD and dont miss anyone in the moment, not even my own DC. But the day before I see them again, like when DD was coming home from uni, then I get really excited and the missing them kicks in then.

It works quite well for break ups! Especially as I also have face blindness. So I cant remember what someone looks like nor do I miss them! I might miss them in the sense of them leaving me with time to fill, but I soon get over it and find other things to do.

I'm autistic, probably haveADHD as well. I don't miss people. Not even my own kids. I love them loads, but when they're away I don't miss them. Two have moved out. I have to remind myself to call them, as they are also bad at calling (unless they want something!)
My DP has just been away for a long weekend and I didn't miss him, but I'll be very happy to see him later.

When my kids were away on Scout camps I'd send them off without a backwards glance. I knew they'd be having a great time, so I didn't see any reason to miss them.

My best friend and I have sometimes gone for ages without being in contact, but we'll just pick up where we left off.

Interesting thread!
I miss my DC if he's gone more than 48 hours - I think I'm just used to that amount of time as he's with his dad EOW. But I think he's the only person I even really think about in his absence, which sounds awful! I love my family very much but if I'm not seeing them it's because I'm busy I guess, and there's too much else in my head already.

Have to say I’m finding this thread very validating!

Has he ever lost anyone? Would he grieve if they passed away? It does unusual to me but we’re all different.

I've been thinking about this thread.

I grew up in a household where nobody ever told anyone they loved each other. There wasn't much affection or emotional support. If someone grew up in the opposite type of household, I expect they would be more emotionally attached to people and in turn, would miss people more?

I don’t miss anyone apart from DH and the kids. I haven’t seen DS2 for seven weeks and I’m yearning to see him. He’s home from uni this weekend and I can’t wait.

there’s nobody else I ever miss and I am fairly close to my sisters parents and various friends. I just don’t need to see them.

this is my experience - it teaches you not to need anyone - pros and cons to this but i miss people rarely. Actually sometimes i need to force myself to connect with friends to remind myself how much i really like and enjoy company. and that i
need it despite my self sufficiency.

I have it and I don’t miss people. Very much out of sight out of mind. I honestly don’t think twice about people I don’t see as awful as that sounds

This will possibly be the case for some but not all.

I grew up in a household where there was a lot of love and affection. I never miss anyone other than DH and my own children. I rarely feel the need to see anyone.

I am possibly neurodiverse though. Not diagnosed but DC are and I recognise many of their traits in myself.

I don't know about this. My Dad was a bit crap, but plenty of affection from my Mum and grandparents, Aunts, Uncles etc.

And yet I don't really miss anyone. Spent a week away from DP and DD a few weeks ago, and I didn't feel desperate to see them by the end of the week.

The only person I've ever really missed is my Mum, and it took about 4 months after she died before that happened. And even then it was because I needed something from her, just really could have done with her advice.

I am something of an introvert, but I do enjoy human contact, and feel a need to see people, but it's more "I fancy a couple of pints with my friends" rather than "I miss this specific person"

I don’t really miss people either, nor do I really grieve when people die. I’m autistic and it’s a fairly common “trait” to have. It doesn’t mean I don’t love people or enjoy spending time with them but when they’re not visibly present I just don’t really think about them - it’s like my brain compartmentalises and shuts them out.

I'm not sure if I 'miss' people . I do get anxious when my youngest is not close by (he's 16!) , but I'm not sure if that's missing him or just being worried about him which isn't really the same thing. My eldest is AuADHD and he said to me that he doesn't miss people. But that could just be because he's never had the opportunity because I've always been there.

So your mum gave you plenty of affection and you miss your mum.

I think the two are connected then.

But there's plenty of other people who gave me lots of affection, who have also died who I don't really miss. I was really close to two of my Grandparents. I was sad when they died, but I've never really missed either of them.

I don’t miss anyone. Actually can’t say I really miss dc or dh either! I mean, I love them. But if I went away for 2 weeks, it’s not like I’d be pining for them until my return. I’m a very independent person. It’s lovely to see people, but other than Dh and dc, I wouldn’t even really think about them in between seeing them again unless I had a reason to. I don’t have any family and my friends are nice, but I definitely don’t sit around missing them. 😂 I am totally NT and grew up in a loving home. I think my attachments are quite secure, hence no need to miss anyone. I know they’ll be there when I get back.

I’m AuDHD which may make a difference but I’m an ‘out of sight, out of mind’ person. Once someone goes away, I barely give them a second thought until or unless I see them again

Likewise, I haven't grieved any of my relatives who have died (although both parents and both siblings are still alive).

I didn't know that. DD has ADHD and I suspect I do too although I've not been diagnosed. Neither of us knows what it feels like to miss someone. I think about my children when I'm not with them but not to the point that I feel like I long for them. I don't miss DH when I'm away from him but I look forward to seeing him again. I'm very much a out of sight out of mind and have to work hard at maintaining contact with friends and family as I easily forget. I never could understand why some "school mums" would cry when we waved our children off on trips. I enjoyed the peace and quiet and always felt so bad for that.

I only really genuinely miss the dog

I have ADHD and miss people! Whereas DP is autistic and he doesn’t really miss people, like your DH…

I agreed with your husband, until having kids.

Now I am in your camp and find I am looking for excuses to see my family who live at the other end of the country. Only just got back from seeing them.

I don’t really miss people at all, other than my children. I have friends but I’m bad at staying in touch because I don’t really ever feel the need to seek friends out. I’m very happy in my own company. But I have absolutely no other traits of any neurodivergence.