Is it unusual that my husband says he never misses anyone?

[SlB09]

So during a conversation, my husband just said that he doesn't miss people other than he would miss me and our son. As in, he doesn't ever miss friends or family mum/sister (family live 5hrs away). He said that to him, missing someone is like to need something from them either emotionally or otherwise and he doesn't need anything from anyone ergo he doesn't miss anyone. He said about one of his best friend, 'if I never saw him again in my life I wouldn't miss him, yes it would be sad but I wouldn't miss anyone'

I miss many people! And it's not that I need something from them,I just like how it feels to be around them, or chat with them, or to share something with them etc! I like seeing my family and spending time with them, I miss them if I don't see them for a while for example. I have friends that live the other end of the country, I might see something we both would like and have a little wish you were here missing them type moment.

I'm quite shocked that he wouldn't miss anyone or doesn't have that sense of loneliness if he's not seeing meaningful people etc - not sure if I'm just v needy now?!!!

My husband has said he believes he is ND. And I definitely agree. He has great affection for people, but never “misses” them. Not me, not our children. He’s happy to hear from them, delighted to have them visit, but seldom thinks of them if it’s not in his face. He also compartmentalizes anything that makes him uncomfortable. Just… somehow puts it away and forgets about it, truly forgets it, through an act of will. He told me once that he simply doesn’t think of me really when I’m not present. Apparently, this is not uncommon with many Mumsnetters. They assume everything is fine with everyone until they hear differently and that’s good enough. Fine. But I miss my husband, children, close friends friends whether they are fine or not. I miss seeing them, talking to them, being in their presence. Maybe I’m an outlier, but I’d still rather value communication from my people, than just to have no object permanence, and not give a damn about other people.

He really needs a formal diagnosis. ADHD never travels on it's own, so he'll have other comorbidities.

I very much disagree with that @Paramaribo2025

Yes, ADHD can co-exist with other conditions but it absolutely can exit as a single condition in people.

I would suggest that there is a considerable difference between missing someone because one of you has moved to another town, or moved to another job or stopped coming to your hobby group or whatever, and the sadness of missing someone close to you who has died.

I don't miss people such as friends or siblings that I don't see for months, but whose company I very much enjoy when I see them. However, I do miss my parents, and have done many times over the years they have been gone. Even now, almost 25 years on, I wish I could phone them or pop round for a cuppa and just spend time with them.