I get the vibe she doesn’t like me and I can’t work out why

[ValleyClouds]

I have a friend “Sarah” who is very outgoing and organises a lot of group nights out. I have slowly become an established member of The Group.

Another member, Cleo, appears not to like me. At one event I was with just Sarah and Cleo and we were organising payment for drinks and Cleo very pointedly said “YOU’RE my friend” to Sarah, as if to say “ and YOU’RE not”

Additionally, I’ve organised a couple of things, and Cleo has very pointedly ignored me in the group chat for one thing and sent word to decline via Sarah for the other one

I have tried making inroads with Cleo and invited her out 1:1 - I was completely rebuffed not even a rain check.

I know you can’t be liked by everyone but I can’t see a real reason. I have got a disability and have wondered if she’s just decided she doesn’t have the bandwidth for a friend with additional needs but that just seems really crap.

When we are out as a group theres usually something going on so not much chat but I’ve realised we have got things in common if she gave me the chance.

any thoughts?

Maybe she's jealous of your friendship with Sarah. She doesn't have to be your bestie but she sounds pretty rude.

I don’t GAF anymore who likes me or not . It’s so liberating ! X

Yeah @Hallywally both the things I’ve organised are happening with or without her and I’ve decided to chill out about it. Sarah does most of the organising and I usually leave her to it but on this occasion (s) it’s fallen to me..

I really didn’t expect this many replies!

God, that sounds too much like hard work!
OP, just be cool and not bother about her. People just don't grow up sometimes. She was probably like that at school..

Even If you have things in common with someone doesn’t mean you will become friends.
some people just aren’t with the time if they are horrible to you.

What - not liking people? I find it hard to believe that some people have never decided within seconds of meeting someone that they don’t like them.

The woman isn’t a bully, she’s not jealous and she’s not desperate for attention. She clearly feels like OP isn’t someone she wants to be friends with so is avoiding her as much as possible.

It’s not much effort tbh. I can dislike someone within seconds of meeting them. I’m not insecure about them. I just don’t want to be around them unless absolutely necessary. The same way as I would expect people to potentially be with me. But then I have been described as ‘spiky’.

I think some people have never grown up past early teens. Nobody seems to understand that this person may not be in the wrong. But in any case I’m sure she just gets on with her life.

I genuinely don’t understand why grown adults would really care what people think of them.

Yes, you’ve amply made your point that she just doesn’t like me and doesn’t need a reason @LiviaDrusillaAugustayou’ve been heard loud and clear, thanks for your contribution

I’d be more bothered that Sarah doesn’t say something to call her out.

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea. Just ignore her the best you can.

And as it is a public forum I can.

Of course

I have a similar friend who does this to people
who aren’t in the established friendship group. It boils down to her being very insecure and jealous of her friends other friends.

I really can’t be arsed with folk like Cleo. She’ll be one of those godawful ‘I tell it as it is’ types 🥱
You are fine just as you are, OP. Match her energy and don’t give a fuck.

I think if you are part of a group you should be prepared to be polite to everyone in it even if you don't feel particularly drawn to everyone.

Yes, it absolutely does sound that way.

Thank you

I sort of wish this thread would expire now. I am a bit overwhelmed but have got what I needed

Can I ask a personal question, OP?
are you autistic or show any signs?

I was expecting early twenties! So immature. Perhaps she feels threatened and just needs time to warm up.

Don't take her on as some sort of challenge. She's not worth it.

You can always tell when a post is Livia’s 😁

Well we can’t tell you why she dislikes you and I suggest trying to get to the bottom of it will definitely do you no favours. I think you’re going to have to accept it avoiding her as much as you can.

Definitely not. I do suffer from anxiety though

My thought is that she is a cow and not worth your energy. I appreciate you can't be bosom buddies with everyone but she doesn't need to be nasty with the "YOU'RE my friend" statement (implying you're not).....what is she, like 10?! How pathetic....