Funniest things kids have said in class

[tryingtojokearound]

Just though nice idea to cheer people up on a friday evening!

One of my pupils was forever talking about a game on the computer that had something to do with putting a kitten in a box

So me and my TA casually mentioned Schrodinger's Cat.

The next day she just gave us a look and shook her head at us.

As a student teacher, I was observing a year 2 class on internet safety. TA asked them about potential dangers on the internet. Answer: 'You could get electrocuted.' At least they'd listened in my science lesson on electricity the day before.

Helpful answer from one of my favourite pupils ever. (She did the get the level 6 once she learned responses like this weren't going to help her!!

After doing about endangered species & poaching for weeks with Y7's, I asked them to write a story starting with "one time I went on a safari and..."

Most of the children in the class wrote about going on Safari the website browser

I'm not a teacher or TA but I'm really enjoying reading these

In the middle of reading a story based in 50s America the very attractive . teacher decided to remind the kids of the characters. "Who's Randy?" she asked. I had to leave the room when two 15year old boys nudged each other and raised their hands enthusiastically.

Doing the 'ur' sound with my reception class last year I was given 'burp' and 'turd' as answers from one child . Then had to find a way to tactfully explain why I wasn't going to write those words on the board, despite both being correct!

A little while ago one child asked "yknow Black Friday....is it cos of de blacks?"
Because of "the blacks" and what we never did find out!

My mother had a good story about going on a school trip with, I think, her Y4 class. She did say this was all completely spontaneous.

It was an archaeological site and they had worksheets. One child (boy) said to mum: "Mrs Teacher, is it a male skeleton or a female skeleton?". DM said, "Well, that's a good question, I don't know, shall we have a look at the worksheet and see if there is any more information?" Child: "Well, I think it is a female skeleton as it does not have a willy bone". DM, thinking in true teacher fashion that every situation is a learning situation: "Well, willies don't have bones in them, so it could be a male or female, let's look at the worksheet". Child: "Oh. Is that true. Sometimes my willie feels like it does have a bone in it".

DM: "SHALL WE HAVE A LOOK AT THE WORKSHEET"

Nursery lends itself to such funnies as:
Me to spotty child: I think you might have chicken pox...
Spotty child almost in tears: But I don't even like chicken!

Child runs up to me: Miss, miss! So and so just said a square word (meaning swear word).

When I was about seven months pregnant, child came up to me and said: Why is your belly so big?
Me: Because there's a baby in there.
Child runs away telling everyone "miss had eaten a baby"

Oh and my all time favourite when I told my class I was having a baby: Can anyone guess why my belly is growing round?
Child: Because you're fat?!

Gotta love three year olds!! 😂

"miss had eaten a baby"
love 'em!

An 8 year old at assembly (his role was to present the 'fact of the day'):

'Scientists in the U.S. say they've created a new strain of mosquito that could eventually help eradicate Malaysia.'

Miss do you have Down syndrome?

5yo (mine) being collected at home time, proudly showing his mum a large model something: "Are you going to put this in the recycling bin when I'm not looking too, mummy?" Mum >>>

Crying at these 😂.
I don't know many but my friends little boy at around 4 said to me.
'Auntie x can I come back to your house'
No sorry, your mums got to go to work later.
'But, but I just want to watch you get changed' 😳😂. I hasten to add he never has before or since actually seen me get changed!
Then he proceeded to sob! He is now 12 and am sure would be mortified if I told him of this little exchange.

A friend of mine had an Ofsted inspector in her class. The class were doing early morning work. The inspector sat at a table with a group of children and my friend over heard a child asking him if he could read. He said he could and the child politely pointed out that they couldn't read so he was sitting at the wrong table!

It reminds me as well that I went to visit a church with my year 6 class. I was sitting in a pew with 5 of my most challenging boys. One asked me what the kneeling pads were( after he had kicked it off its hook for the umpteenth time). I explained and he looked aghast " but miss if the people are kneeling then the vicar can't see them and they can get up to all sorts of stuff and no one will know." I had to point out that it was highly unlikely that someone kneeling to pray would have come to the church just to be naughty. He had a think and agreed that was probably true.

These are great.
I watched The Secret Life of 4-Year-Olds the other night (not sure when it aired but it was on catch-up TV). They filmed a girl chatting on the phone in the role-playing area and she said something like "Richard, you have to stop phoning. You're not the Dad. I don't love you any more".

Writing Alien Adventure stories, one of my Y1s wrote 'Then he got in his spaceshit......'

Year 2 child writing her fact file about the Queen. "Queen Elizabeth II has a really big fanny". She apparently meant family

Giving a talk to year 5 girls about puberty and periods. "So Miss, if I wear a sanitary towel, does that mean I can't get pregnant?"

My class did a history unit on Christpher Columbous.. They made the rather unappetising salty ship biscuits. At the end of the day we were given the biscuits, they all ran out to their parents with this ugly disgusting biscuits shouting "we made shit biscuits we made shit biscuits!" It was so funny seeing the parents' faces trying to work out what they were saying

Last year at Christmas I made a comment that if the class didn't behave, You-Know-Who would find out. One child, puzzled look on face: "Voldemort?"

Child with SN put his hand on my tummy, gazes up wide-eyed "Miss, do you have a baby in there?!"

No, kid, no such excuse

I had a 5 year old child who was getting changed for PE who was completely nude. I asked him where his underpants were and he pointed to the other side of the room. When asked why they were over there and he was nowhere near he replied he had just come to show the girls his testicles because they didn't have any so didn't know what they looked like.

Miss what's epi-fanny?
What do you mean?
Up there...Lent, Easter, Advent, Christmas, Epi-fanny.
I think you mean epiphany.
So what is epi-fanny?

A member of staff was leaving and I broke it to the children and told them to write her a message, her name is Trish, two of the 5 year olds wrote Dear Trash Im sorry you're leaving! :)