Just finished 'Spare'...

[HerReputationMadeItDifficultToProceed]

… and I encourage anyone who’s even vaguely interested in this story to give it a read. Especially if what’s been leaked has made you at all angry, because I think in context everything makes a lot of sense.

I wasn’t a Harry and Meghan hater before reading this, but I wasn’t a fan girl either. Like many Brits, I find a lot of Americans- especially West Coast Americans- quite irritating and Meghan firmly falls into that camp for me. I’m sure she’s nice enough, but she’s very American and very perky and much like Wednesday Addams, I don’t do perky. However, I suspect that her intentions and generally good and that like most of us she’s got good and bad qualities. She’s clearly ambitious and I think that she probably initially dated Harry based on that ambition and on getting a platform, although I think that she genuinely loves him now.

The ghost writer has done a great job at capturing Harry’s personality I think; he comes across as introspective and thoughtful but funny and bright.

I think that Harry has a good soul; I think that he’s kind and has had a hard time of it growing up. I also think he’s a bit clueless and naive and has been in a bubble, but I think he acknowledges that and wants to understand and change. Undoubtedly losing his mother at the age he was had more of an outward impact on him than it had on William. He’s also been a victim of his dad’s wishywashy parenting. It sounds like- and looks like to me from my vantage point as a normal citizen who knows bugger all except what I’ve seen in the media- that Charles has been there for his kids to an extent, but not in a hands on or especially useful way. It also seems clear that Charles has always put Camilla first. From almost the moment Diana died it seems that he wanted, above everything else, to rehabilitate Camilla’s image so that they could marry. I think that he put that above being a father and the way Harry writes about their relationship makes that clear too.

I also think that it’s suited the palace to portray Harry as dimwitted and feckless to show William in a better light and that Harry has every right to be angry about that and not want to play that game anymore (and to call it out now). Especially as it’s obvious that the palace haven’t kept up their side of the bargain and protected Harry from the media in return.

I also think that the media have treated H and M poorly and it’s clearly the case that the palace has used them and news stories about them to divert from other newsworthy problems… certainly Prince Andrew, perhaps William’s affair/s. Is Harry overly jumpy about the media and the paparazzi in particular? Yes, of course. Who wouldn’t be with his background. But they’ve also obviously been hounded and harassed.

I do think that Harry is on a journey that he isn’t at the end of yet, but I think that he realises that too. I think that he was always going to leave the royal family and that Meghan didn’t cause what’s happened, she was just the catalyst for it. I think that he’s been scapegoated and an afterthought within his nuclear family and I don’t blame him for being angry. I think that he means well and is essentially good. And I don’t think that anyone who’s read the whole book would be able to disagree.

More than anything I think it’s clear that the British Royal Family is no longer fit for purpose; the way they live, bring up their children, pay their members for work and demand unrealistic levels of protocol and formality is no longer working in the 21st century. These people need purpose and lives beyond the crown and those on the edges of the heir shouldn’t have to live their lives in service of the their. Realistically H and M could have worked as royals and had private interests, the RF chose not to bend to help them live fulfilling lives because of its own, outdated reasons.

Thats a nice summary. I haven't read it (but I am interested in reading it) and my views are similar to what you wrote anyway.

Honestly, I just can’t be bothered. I’m fed up with the whole thing and wish they’d all just go into therapy and sort it out amongst themselves. Most families are dis-functional. People are on the whole are self centred and are not good at seeing other peoples view points. That’s never going to change.

Same as @Pottyaboutplants. I agree Harry is the scapegoat in the family, and scapegoats are always call out the dysfunction.

Thanks for the thoughtful summary as I’m not sure I can be bothered to read it!

Im very interested to see how it all plays out though. I know a lot of people see the whole thing as annoying/trashy celeb gossip but I think Harry is actually calling out a big fundamental flaw in our country’s set up that needs to change.

Wow that's a long post! I read the first few sentences. Sounds like you're saying it's nicely written etc.. and trying to give a balanced view.

I don't care really what the comtent of the book is. The fact it's been written, gives personal details of his family without their consent, and puts down members of his family for the world to see, is enough for me to form an opinion.

The fact H&M have done countless interviews, are v hypocritical and H is massively undermining the monarchy, openly dissing the UK and our traditions. Again, that's enough for me to form an opinion.

My opinion is H&M have no morals, have sold their souls and are, in Harry's words, in bed with the devil. For what?

I think the media hatchet job this week, presumably with full RF support, was because there is serious worry about the book. There was a massive attempt to set the narrative, to rebuff the book without being seen to respond.

I'm going to read it this week.

The people I know who've read it have said similar to you - the tabloid spin on it doesn't reflect the book.

Well done OP. At last a measured and reasonable post on H & M. I also agree about the royal family. Irrelevant now and very, very expensive. Why does the king need four palaces?

I will wait a few months when copies start appearing in charity shops.

More than anything I think it’s clear that the British Royal Family is no longer fit for purpose; the way they live, bring up their children, pay their members for work and demand unrealistic levels of protocol and formality is no longer working in the 21st century. I agree - it is a very dysfunctional family and we do not need that, nor do we need to paying for that.

I also think I also think I do think that the boys need to learn new sentence starters.

the RF chose not to bend to help them live fulfilling lives because of its own, outdated reasons

No.

The RF "chose" not to let them live a half in/half out role they wanted where they could cash in on their "royalties" without doing any of the work.

The Met (not the RF) refused to provide security abroad for very valid reasons.

How do you think acquiescing to their plan would have played with the public/taxpayers?

What they wanted was a non starter from the off and when they didn't get it H had a great big bloody tantrum because in his late 30's someone finally said no to him.

H is a millionaire many times over. He had many choices about how to live his life that most people will never have.

I'm not sympathetic. He is wallowing in his own privilege and I can't understand why people are falling for it.

I've read it and I totally agree with you.

I do feel sorry for him over his mothers death and how that was handled, the poor child must of been traumatised but just expected to get on with it. It's clearly had a lasting effect.

Nice summary. I listened to the to the book, and appreciated the honesty and tone of the memoir, as cringe as I thought some parts were.

I agree, I think in the end it's definitely larger than Harry and Meghan, but the relationship the BRF and institution has with the British tabloids.

If I were Harry, I'd be angry too quite honestly so I can't fault them for exposing this relationship and their family. I disagree with other posters...his family has sold him to the tabloids time and again, the difference is Harry putting his face to it. People defend their reputations every day abdhave a right to.

I do hope though, that Harry now pivots and focuses hia attention on going after the tabloids. Unfortunately Brits don't seem to care about the Murdoch driven agenda so the media space will remain as it it.

Also, is it just me or does no one else catch on that the British tabloids are essentially bullying and blackmailing the BRF and head of state? Why are people ok with this?

I'm about 4 chapters in and already feel the same as you, OP.

I wish them both peace and happiness but think he's got his side across now and now it's time to live the private life like they wanted to.

Yep ☝️

With bells on

I am looking forward to reading this book. I have similar views to you. Why couldnt they represent the commonwealth and live there as they requested? Away from the nasty british media. The RF & the institution have treated them awfully. It's so sad.

You may not have to wait a few months, the book is absolute rubbish.I've listened to it on audible whilst ill and know that I could never have physically read it.The only surprises I found within it was that Harry spent so long thinking his mother had disappeared, that he refers to the way she flooded the boys with attention then disappeared for long periods and that the Queen had a bizarre momentary stand off with the Queen when he asked her permission to marry Meghan.

Interesting that those who have read the book end up sympathetic. Those that hate on H&M have not read the book. They base their hatred on tabloid spin

So true, he's a spoilt child.

I've read it. I agree. Well said.

The RF need to change. What we see is far from the reality and truth.

I think H has some legitimate complaints - the RF needs to focus more on the family aspect and less on the royal, if they don't want this kind of fallout. And yes, some of the press have behaved appallingly.

But, I believe M never googled H? Do I fuck! And their narrative of nasty, racist Britain and the commonwealth being empire part 2, while retaining their titles and capitalising on their relationship with Britain and the RF, pisses me right off.
I think Britain is pretty decent on the whole, and takes a live and live live approach to most things, but hypocrisy (and dishonesty)gets right on our wick!

Ok so you read it. You believe it. You’re summarising it and presenting a summary of Harry’s view and have applied absolutely no critical thinking to it, and completely ignore there is two sides, clear lies and an abhorrent attach on direct family

cheers mate. Enjoy your kool aid.

I also think that anyone that throws their family under the bus for sheer petty arguments is a dangerous, nasty soul.

I’ve read it. Navel gazing at its finest. Tone deaf, self indulgent. One of the worst celeb autobiographies I’ve ever read. And I’ve read a few, they’re my guilty pleasure. Even the ‘cheeky’ (cringe) anecdotes, are dull and the reflections, superficial. Just goes to show how far he’s riding those coat tails of privilege.

I've read it from cover to cover.

I now know the real Harry.

A selfish, entitled, spoilt, paranoid and angry person who can be downright nasty about those closest to him. Someone who is obsessed with his image and portrayal in the media and social media. And who clearly has mental health issues which therapy only seems to have made worse.

Over twenty years of drug use has certainly had an effect.

I think it’s become clear to everyone with eyes now that everything H&M said about the RF and the tabloids was true. It’s been one massively out of context story after another every day since the Netflix documentary.

Despite all the haters out there I don’t believe the RF are going to come out of this on top.