Just finished 'Spare'...

[HerReputationMadeItDifficultToProceed]

… and I encourage anyone who’s even vaguely interested in this story to give it a read. Especially if what’s been leaked has made you at all angry, because I think in context everything makes a lot of sense.

I wasn’t a Harry and Meghan hater before reading this, but I wasn’t a fan girl either. Like many Brits, I find a lot of Americans- especially West Coast Americans- quite irritating and Meghan firmly falls into that camp for me. I’m sure she’s nice enough, but she’s very American and very perky and much like Wednesday Addams, I don’t do perky. However, I suspect that her intentions and generally good and that like most of us she’s got good and bad qualities. She’s clearly ambitious and I think that she probably initially dated Harry based on that ambition and on getting a platform, although I think that she genuinely loves him now.

The ghost writer has done a great job at capturing Harry’s personality I think; he comes across as introspective and thoughtful but funny and bright.

I think that Harry has a good soul; I think that he’s kind and has had a hard time of it growing up. I also think he’s a bit clueless and naive and has been in a bubble, but I think he acknowledges that and wants to understand and change. Undoubtedly losing his mother at the age he was had more of an outward impact on him than it had on William. He’s also been a victim of his dad’s wishywashy parenting. It sounds like- and looks like to me from my vantage point as a normal citizen who knows bugger all except what I’ve seen in the media- that Charles has been there for his kids to an extent, but not in a hands on or especially useful way. It also seems clear that Charles has always put Camilla first. From almost the moment Diana died it seems that he wanted, above everything else, to rehabilitate Camilla’s image so that they could marry. I think that he put that above being a father and the way Harry writes about their relationship makes that clear too.

I also think that it’s suited the palace to portray Harry as dimwitted and feckless to show William in a better light and that Harry has every right to be angry about that and not want to play that game anymore (and to call it out now). Especially as it’s obvious that the palace haven’t kept up their side of the bargain and protected Harry from the media in return.

I also think that the media have treated H and M poorly and it’s clearly the case that the palace has used them and news stories about them to divert from other newsworthy problems… certainly Prince Andrew, perhaps William’s affair/s. Is Harry overly jumpy about the media and the paparazzi in particular? Yes, of course. Who wouldn’t be with his background. But they’ve also obviously been hounded and harassed.

I do think that Harry is on a journey that he isn’t at the end of yet, but I think that he realises that too. I think that he was always going to leave the royal family and that Meghan didn’t cause what’s happened, she was just the catalyst for it. I think that he’s been scapegoated and an afterthought within his nuclear family and I don’t blame him for being angry. I think that he means well and is essentially good. And I don’t think that anyone who’s read the whole book would be able to disagree.

More than anything I think it’s clear that the British Royal Family is no longer fit for purpose; the way they live, bring up their children, pay their members for work and demand unrealistic levels of protocol and formality is no longer working in the 21st century. These people need purpose and lives beyond the crown and those on the edges of the heir shouldn’t have to live their lives in service of the their. Realistically H and M could have worked as royals and had private interests, the RF chose not to bend to help them live fulfilling lives because of its own, outdated reasons.

Plain grammatical English, you kept trying to make it say something it didn’t.

It couldn’t have been plain. Plain English is what it says on the tin. If numerous people misinterpret something it’s ambiguous.

Yeah, it’s q difficult to decipher the meaning of a deranged obsessive but I did my best 🤷‍♀️

2 people, not the brightest toffees in the tin, confusing themselves over a perfectly grammatical question. 😂

Fun as this is, I have nails to pull.

Off you pop then.

Exactly this! No more needs saying

Ha ha ha ha you’ve gave it a good go, no one can take that away from you

I think everyone who sympathises with Harry should reflect on their own families and how they would feel if their child wrote a book finding fault, exposing your parenting mistakes and trashing everything you stand for. Imagine if that book exaggerated all slights real or imagined and demanded more money and power for shutting up. Three book deal you know. Wouldn't wish that on the most diehard fans.

Book of comedy and half remembered truths. Harry is not a scapegoat but was a very much loved member of the family….until he met her.

Good personal summary of the book. I don't think they are bad people either but I do think though that if the Royal family were abolished it would be better for them and us - they could all have a more normal, private life and TAXPAYERS money, given to maintaining the Royals (SOVEREIGN GRANT) could go towards better causes, to support "ordinary" people and institutions who need and deserve it such as the NHS, enabling poor children in this country to go to school with food in their tummies and learn properly, building social housing, eradicating homelessness etc. Those who support the family somehow seem to forget how antiquated the whole institution is - what place do Queens, Kings, Princes and Princesses have in modern society - 2023??? They forget how much poverty there is in "Great" Britain - homelessness, food banks, no social housing, poor or no mental health provision, NHS staff, carers, teachers and generally hard working people paid a pittance. Yet many are happy to bow, scrape and queue to people they don't even know, they deride people on benefits the majority of whom are genuine as scroungers even though they don't know them either! British Public please wake up!

While I don’t disagree that Charles is a cold individual who struggled with fatherhood. He’s hardly alone when it comes to fathers struggling to show their gentler side… that said I don’t particularly like him or Camilla. I found the whole set up with Diana horrible and disrespectful!

However I don’t think it’s fair for anyone to speculate that William somehow cared less or coped better. Just because he hasn’t done interviews or written books I’m sure he’s equally as upset, as for ‘affairs’ why is Harry flinging mud at his brother? even if William has had affairs it is in no way Harry’s place to spill this to the world…. Disgusting behaviour !! However as H&M have been caught out lying before and seem hellbent on bringing down the monarchy purely because they no longer benefit from it, I don’t really believe much either says.
I also hate the media and haven’t bought a paper for years! I’ve started blocking all the videos on Facebook slagging off H&M…. Telling his story is fine, don’t agree with him telling Williams! William can chose to tell his own… or not.
Harry had no right to!

for me to have any belief in Harry words I would have liked for him to have a proper interview. Not necessarily a grilling but at least an inquisitive one. Bradby was the closest and was still weak. In a book where there is some interpretation/opposition to be had especially as we have faces to those he has grievances with it would be good to have clarity. the two issue he has spoken about of the racism claim (oprah) and the Taliban have both been met with press context.

It's Mumsnet. Double standards rule here.

I've read the passages about the Taliban and miffed why anyone would think its a threat to his family, when killing Taliban was plastered all over the same press crucifying him now.

Perhaps you should mention this to all the senior military personnel who criticised this passage. Unless you know better than them of course.

If you can't see that including the kill number and calling the dead "chess pieces" is inflammatory, and you don't understand that the geopolitical situation in Afghanistan is completely different from 2013, more fool you.

yep, this. Exactly this.

The whole pull of this book is its scandal. If Harry had of just written a book in tribute to his mother it wouldn’t of had its selling potential. If he’d of said he was a choirboy in his youth and he had worked at a charity shop in his spare time like a good lad no one would’ve bought it. Because it’s full of scandalous fantasies and revelations it hits the worst aspects of the public imagination and people love it because people love a scandal. Why did the red tops sell? People love a scandal! You can think yourselves all sorts of reasons for buying this book but you bought it because you love a scandal and you love what is hidden in these pages.
We love to muck rake and read of a prince losing his virginity behind a judge or what not. The more muck the better. Be honest. The more mucky revelations the the better the public like it

keffie12 · Today 00:28
pocketvenuss · 14/01/2023 22:31
Interesting that those who have read the book end up sympathetic. Those that hate on H&M have not read the book. They base their hatred on tabloid spin
Exactly this! No more needs saying

Well of course! Harry is paying the ghost writer to make him look good! Be a pretty poor effort if he couldn't. It's not up to the writer to to call out Harry's lies. The papers will do that

I agree with the original writer. I am currently reading Spare and think that the assessment was very fair. I also feel that H & M have suffered from the toxic British tabloid press, which has a lot to answer for. They are not perfect, but who is??

Where in the book dies Harry talk affairs?

Agreed. People love to feel scandalised, they love the drama, and they love to hate, all the while condemning precisely what they have pored over.

Monarchists are not honest about the media’s fundamental role in their monarchical drama or their own prurience.

I was very patient with you it’s true.

But it is worth noting that the post you quote was wrong, because quite a large proportion of those who are critical of H on this thread have read the book. I think some are more questioning and less inclined to take it at face value.

@Blossomtoes FFS.... even when I'm not online you have to drag me in, and call me names, just stop it! We agree on so much elsewhere, and yet you have to have a dig at me on this thread and call me obsessive when I'm not even here to defend myself and haven't posted since 9pm last night.

Respond to my posts by all means but for god's sake leave me out of it when I'm fast asleep. I don't drag you into things like this. You've just really pissed me off.

as for ‘affairs’ why is Harry flinging mud at his brother? even if William has had affairs it is in no way Harry’s place to spill this to the world…. Disgusting behaviour !!

@T1Dmama Where on earth did you get that from? Why do you say this? Harry hasn't done that so you are just jumping on the bandwagon and making stuff up!