Just finished 'Spare'...

[HerReputationMadeItDifficultToProceed]

… and I encourage anyone who’s even vaguely interested in this story to give it a read. Especially if what’s been leaked has made you at all angry, because I think in context everything makes a lot of sense.

I wasn’t a Harry and Meghan hater before reading this, but I wasn’t a fan girl either. Like many Brits, I find a lot of Americans- especially West Coast Americans- quite irritating and Meghan firmly falls into that camp for me. I’m sure she’s nice enough, but she’s very American and very perky and much like Wednesday Addams, I don’t do perky. However, I suspect that her intentions and generally good and that like most of us she’s got good and bad qualities. She’s clearly ambitious and I think that she probably initially dated Harry based on that ambition and on getting a platform, although I think that she genuinely loves him now.

The ghost writer has done a great job at capturing Harry’s personality I think; he comes across as introspective and thoughtful but funny and bright.

I think that Harry has a good soul; I think that he’s kind and has had a hard time of it growing up. I also think he’s a bit clueless and naive and has been in a bubble, but I think he acknowledges that and wants to understand and change. Undoubtedly losing his mother at the age he was had more of an outward impact on him than it had on William. He’s also been a victim of his dad’s wishywashy parenting. It sounds like- and looks like to me from my vantage point as a normal citizen who knows bugger all except what I’ve seen in the media- that Charles has been there for his kids to an extent, but not in a hands on or especially useful way. It also seems clear that Charles has always put Camilla first. From almost the moment Diana died it seems that he wanted, above everything else, to rehabilitate Camilla’s image so that they could marry. I think that he put that above being a father and the way Harry writes about their relationship makes that clear too.

I also think that it’s suited the palace to portray Harry as dimwitted and feckless to show William in a better light and that Harry has every right to be angry about that and not want to play that game anymore (and to call it out now). Especially as it’s obvious that the palace haven’t kept up their side of the bargain and protected Harry from the media in return.

I also think that the media have treated H and M poorly and it’s clearly the case that the palace has used them and news stories about them to divert from other newsworthy problems… certainly Prince Andrew, perhaps William’s affair/s. Is Harry overly jumpy about the media and the paparazzi in particular? Yes, of course. Who wouldn’t be with his background. But they’ve also obviously been hounded and harassed.

I do think that Harry is on a journey that he isn’t at the end of yet, but I think that he realises that too. I think that he was always going to leave the royal family and that Meghan didn’t cause what’s happened, she was just the catalyst for it. I think that he’s been scapegoated and an afterthought within his nuclear family and I don’t blame him for being angry. I think that he means well and is essentially good. And I don’t think that anyone who’s read the whole book would be able to disagree.

More than anything I think it’s clear that the British Royal Family is no longer fit for purpose; the way they live, bring up their children, pay their members for work and demand unrealistic levels of protocol and formality is no longer working in the 21st century. These people need purpose and lives beyond the crown and those on the edges of the heir shouldn’t have to live their lives in service of the their. Realistically H and M could have worked as royals and had private interests, the RF chose not to bend to help them live fulfilling lives because of its own, outdated reasons.

It’s really not badly written. It’s actually very well written as it reads as if it is Harry who has actually written it. That’s a significant skill.
Are you seriously suggesting the shadowy powers that be through Harry’s own words have managed to stitch him up lol! You know Harry will have approved the book for publication. He hasn’t said anything in any interview that he was unhappy with the way the book turned out. Must be cosy under the tin hat!

Charles main commitment appears to have been to Camilla and ensuring she was protected.

You missed out “Harry wants us to believe that...”. This is Harry telling, by his own admission, a ‘curated’ version of the past that paints a picture to uphold his view of his present.

No thanks. I would need a sick bucket or two to read it from the bits I have seen quoted. For those that get uptight about people reading quotes in the press, some of the quotes would look bad in any context and most people can be credited with seeing through any spin of their own the press put on them. Have also listened to some of the interviews and he doesn’t come across well at all.

@Eyerollcentral Yes Charles carried on working after Diana's death pretty much as normal. But he was being called a caring father because he took Harry to South Africa to give him space without mentioning this was only for six days.

Harry's life apart from those six days appears to have gone on with boarding school and staff looking after him and no real care for a grieving child.

I don't think Charles was being nasty. I just think they are a totally dysfunctional family who had zero clue about how to effectively support a grieving 12 year old whose mum had just died in horrific circumstances.

@Shelefttheweb It has always been clear that Charles is devoted to Camilla.

Best thing is they used to share a room at one time

William apparently thought this would be their role and used this argument to get them financial independence from him. They then wanted half in half out, not the commonwealth.

Your last point makes no sense. Harry thinks the RF is terrible and damaging and he had to escape it and he feels terribly worried about royal life will affect the Wales children.

Fine. Then why keep his title and make a huge fuss about wanting his children to have titles (not just any title but very grand titles)?

Why choose a career (if you can call it a career) which relies on talking about your royal status at every opportunity?

Why not do as others do, when they emigrate or have a mid life crisis or come out of prison (real or metaphorical): retrain for another career and lead a boring normal life?

Why not do as celebs do when they get bored with celebrity: sack your publicist, stop making films/TV, stop giving media interviews, buy a farm in Colorado and lead a boring normal life?

Or course he has no answer to this. His wife wants to be the A list celebrity she was never going to be on her own, and that won’t happen on a farm in Colorado. They want titles because they NEED titles. And because they actually do quite like the media after all if they can make money from it and everything that is written is 100% uncritical.

What nonsense. He was called a caring father because he was a caring father. Harry’s normality was being at school. Do you think it would be a great idea to take a vulnerable child out of their routine and trot along behind a busy father who HAD to continue to work. You haven’t a clue what you are talking about re the boarding school staff. In the book harry says he absolutely loved them.
Do you think when he got back from South Africa Charles said right harry see you at Christmas. Again Harry in the book said he loved the trip with Charles to South Africa and the time they had together just the two of them. Know it doesn’t fit your narrative but 🤷‍♀️

I enjoyed J.R Moehringer’s previous book with Andre Agassi but was disappointed with the writing in this book. The clunky metaphors all through the book and the overwrought imagery (“Windsor Castle itself was a tomb, the walls filled with ancestors. The Tower of London was held together with the blood of animals, used by the original builders a thousand years ago to temper the mortar between the bricks. Outsiders called us a cult, but maybe we were a death cult, and wasn’t that a little bit more depraved?”) were too much.

Many thanks for sharing that thoughful and to my mind, being half way through a very accurate insight. I come away liking him warts and all and feel sorry for the obvious mental pain and anquish he's been through. All the collective frothing and hating at him from various quarters just makes me like him more.

I'm half way through and tend to agree with you

@Eyerollcentral I have already said that Harry said he loved the six days he spent with his father in South Africa.
I do not think sending a grieving child off to boarding school at 12 is good parenting.

A friends husband died two years ago very unexpectedly and she has two children. She has spent so much extra time with them as their need for her has understandably increased a lot.

But as I said the Royal Family are clearly dysfunctional so it is not surprising that they did not know how to support a grieving child.

I should add, I do not think any of this really is about the individuals involved in some ways though.
I think a hereditary monarchy with massive wealth and full of formality and markers of hierarchy, will almost inevitable lead to a family being dysfunctional.

Interestingly Harry doesn’t complain about going back to school at all. Which is telling because he would say if he thought that he had something to complain about. He was about to go in to his fifth year of boarding school when Diana died. It was his normality. That can be reassuring to children after a traumatic experience. Also he says at school he was left alone by the press. He was happy to be at school. You might not get it but moaning harry hasn’t said a bad word about it and he cannot stop complaining about any even minor slight.
Were your friends children already established in boarding school or were they day students at a school who just lived at home any way? Because if the latter it’s not comparable at all is it.
Loads of families are dysfunctional. Doesn’t mean the children of the family aren’t loved and cared for.

@Eyerollcentral Strange. On the one hand Harry is a confused and maybe even mentally ill man. On the other hand he knew exactly what he needed after his mother died when he was twelve.

Harry obviously has a lot of unresolved grief so it is self evident that he did not get the help and support he needed at twelve years old.

You do realise you can be both a mentally ill adult AND a child who knew what they wanted to do. You’ve made a lot of assumptions. I’m just pointing out that Harry hasn’t identified any issue with going back to school when he did.

I also read the book and agree with you: it was actually a decent read. I feel quite bad I thought of Harry as a bit thick. The documentary, interviews and the book have proven I was judging him prematurely. His love for his family certainly shines through, and I find myself pretty appalled by Charles, William and Kate. It was very clever of Harry and Meghan (or whoever advises them) to spend the first drop of the documentary criticising the media and outing them, knowing the media pile on would happen and prove them right. It gave their claims more legitimacy, and I do believe them.

I used to be a royalist, but while I continue to believe they economically provide value, they are no longer a representation I'm proud of as a result of this and the Prince Andrew paedophilia. I wish there was a way to continue the monarchy but not in the current line of succession, so failing that, I'd prefer to see the RF come secondary to the government and have ethics regulations in place to get rid of bad representation like Charles, Andrew, William etc.

Tbf nearly all the royal males are cut from the same cloth all seem to have affairs and be uber privileged and entitled. If there was any fairness the succession should follow down the female line, arise Queen Anne ! The best monarchs, if we must have such a beauty contest are QE1,Victoria and the late Queen Elizabeth. But rather than that I would have their constitutional importance and privilge end and as a country we engage as grown up citizens who can decide who we want as Head of State and free the Windsors to live a life of wealth in well earned obscurity (that will never happen!) and without the people thinking that they owe them something in return.

@Eyerollcentral Fine. If you think Harry's obvious unresolved grief over his mother had nothing to do with the lack of support he received after his mother died that is up to you.

I haven’t read the book, but I do find it staggering that people are complaining about the “damage” Harry has done to the Royal family when you consider that Andrew exists.

Harry could say pretty much anything at this point and it still wouldn’t come close to Andrew and his behaviours.

They have protected Andrew far too much. That is what’s made me lose respect for the institution.

I am going to read back and see, but I believe the word Harry used when talking about being back to school was abandoned.

And that's why hereditary privilege is such a nonsense and makes it an unaccountable genetic lottery ....

Doug Stanhope sums it up nicely for me (warning very offensive for some)....

‘. It was very clever of Harry and Meghan (or whoever advises them) to spend the first drop of the documentary criticising the media and outing them, knowing the media pile on would happen and prove them right. It gave their claims more legitimacy, and I do believe them.’ @Asthebellcurves it was clever as device to allow them to make serious but vague allegations. I have rarely seen so much mud thrown in all directions with so little in the way of specifics to back up what they are saying. Personally I’d say that is quite cynical, as you say it is designed to provoke a reaction. It is a tactic H and M have used again and again. The problem is they present vague allegations and allow people to read between the lines but then deny that’s what they meant at all - see for example the Oprah interview ‘racism’ allusions. It wouldn’t make me think the people pursuing the strategy are straightforward and wholly honest. It’s quite manipulative.

I'd say they have a very smart PR company working with them re Netflix, the book , the public appearances and Harry's training for the interviews. Some of the stuff that is appearing on the internet (and popping up here like mushrooms until MNHQ zaps them) is off the scale of wicked. Accusing Harry and Meghan and her mother of unspeakable behaviour and crimes even but I guess that what's happens when a toxic media waeponsiese a population to hate.

Now officially the festest selling book of alltime.