Harry needs to go NC

[Twatalert]

Harry needs to go NC with his family and grieve for the kind of family he never had.

It is clear they are completely dysfunctional. I believe everything he says. He has gained awareness of the abuse going on, but now sees abuse everywhere. It is typical for abuse survivors. Once you have seen it you see it everywhere and it is hard to distinguish which part is the abuse and which part is human.

He needs to spend time with himself, continue to process and come to terms with everything rather than selling it.

In time he might understand that he cannot change them and he cannot convince them to change. They'll either wake up or they won't. He can only decice how he wants to deal with what they give him. He has not yet understood he needs to let go of them, which is the reality of many that have been abused.

William was the golden child and Harry the scapegoat. Trouble is he finds issue with 'normal' things (bigger and smaller bedroom's..) rather than pinpointing the systematic abuse he has suffered.

He's trying to convince the world he was treated unfairly. A sign that he is not ready to let go and wants approval from millions. He is in pain.

Instead of books and interviews, he should write a diary (and not publish it).

That is also true. He thinks the grass is greener on Williams side. It isn't.

Children drive much better the more emotional support they get. I could imagine William was supported better in many ways, because he had a role to grow into and they needed him to turn out ok. It happens in lots of families.

I totally agree. None of us know anything about other people's lives.

He is clearly very unhappy and feels he has been pressured into staying quiet all his life.

It is really bloody hard to describe dysfunctional family relationships when there hasn't been any physical or sexual abuse.

I am NC with my family. I am 'lucky' in that there was physical abuse so something 'to tell' if you will. However, my abusive Mother and siblings all have people who likes them and think I'm a right bitch.

No contact was the only way forward for me. It is bloody hard though and the guilt can be crucifying.

I think @growinggreyer expressed themselves properly. I, for one, clearly understood with what they meant. You appear to have made an assumption that, just because they aren’t treating you with respect, it doesn’t necessarily follow that they can’t do that to others.

I think he would if he knew how. Instead he wants to correct the false stories about him/his family, which I understand. He did say as much in his Tom Bradby interview, when he thought leaving the country would stop the tabloids. He still doesn't know how to exist without the monarchy being there, though, which is going to be to his detriment further down the line.

You are not a suitable judge of whether or not your brother was abused. It is so difficult to uncover and the two of you likely did not have the same parents.

I'm contemptuous of you too, both for your misogynistic user name and for helping to ruin "Active" by making one of 20,000 royal family threads in the last few weeks

She's a better judge than you, though.

Can't stand the whinging tosser, if the family is so so AWFUL then why does he want to keep coming back for events? Don't forget they wanted half in half out, why would you even want that if they were abusers? He's a liar who doesn't like the institution but more than happy to trade off it and make tons of cash, they still use Duke and Duchess titles...he's a two faced lying hypocritical prick.

No, they have not. They have used sarcasm, and this is always a sign of contempt and inability or unwillingness to express ones views, needs and wants.

They could have simply said 'I disagree with you OP because of xzy' but instead chose to insult me.

Of course he won’t go NC, he needs to get as much blood money as possible to fund his Californian lifestyle 🙄
The toxic pair need ongoing conversations etc to spill the beans on in future tell-all books and documentaries- that’ll be nearly impossible if the go NC.

This is not Harry having his say. He is doing this for money. Millions and millions of pounds. Lots of us have NC situations or are estranged, few of us decide to monitize the misery. His mother and father both did ill advised things (such as interviews) when their marriage fell apart, but I don't think anyone has ever suggested it was for ££££.

You can obviously chose to believe every word he says, I prefer a bit more nuance, especially when we don't know the other side.

@Twatalert we definitely had the same parents and we were treated exactly the same by them. Yes, he had the smaller room as he was born second. Is that abuse?!

I had the smaller room because despite being the eldest, I was the only girl of three. Hasn't scarred me for life as far as I know.

You have no idea.

So, what do you think made your brother the way he is? Let me guess, it was his own fault even when he was a child/teen? I will not go any further into your family relations as you don't understand enough.

I will not go any further into your family relations as you don't understand enough

And that, class, is how we define 'supercilious and condescending.'

No wonder you support PH - you're as tone deaf as he is, telling someone you understand her family better than she does.

🚨Twat alert. Nailed it in one.

Indeed.

“So, what do you think made your brother the way he is? Let me guess”

spoilt rotten ?

I believe every word he says, but agree we don't know the full story. Yes, he lacks awareness and does not see his part in all the drama (I'd too like to know what his part is), but I believe that fundamentally he is scarred and mental illness rarely only has genetic reasons.

By the way, Golden Children are also abused children. I am not saying William has't been abused. I actually think he might have been in other ways. Probably also lacks awareness.

Harry can only have his family back if they all decide to do years of therapy, reach a certain level of awareness, take accountability, change behaviours, learn new behaviours and forgive each other. It will never happen.

I have compassion for H in some ways, and for his family in others. This is not bacl and white for me.

@Twatalert you’re only considering nurture and forgetting nature. He was born with that personality. We were treated completely the same. In fact, my mum was so obsessed with equal treatment that she counted to the last penny how much she spent on us at Christmas and made sure we had exactly the same number of presents. As a teenager he actually got more attention than me as he played lots of sport and my parents spent a huge amount of time supporting that. You know nothing about my family and you know very little about Harry’s.

That wasn’t sarcasm. Sarcasm would have been something along the lines of ‘you’ve got the most contradictory username to your posts’ and not meaning it.

Actually they were much more direct. They were calling you a twat. As I said in my post, that was very clear to me at least.

I’d agree sarcasm is often used to express contempt, and if it had been used in this case, than I’m sure that would have been the intent. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they are unwilling to engage or express their views generally. It just means that they don’t want to with someone they consider a twat. I’m usually the same, though I do make exceptions.

I'd be interested to know if anyone's planning to buy his book?

I agree he should go NC. He can’t win against the tabloids and the establishment.

Given that the Royals must be one of the richest families in the UK, if not Europe, why couldn’t they just give him a massive lump sum so that he didn’t have to commit to all of these documentaries and book interviews.

I did make a NY resolution to read more fiction, but well-written fiction. So no.