How Harry lost his virginity

[SnottyLottie]

Harry described losing his virginity as "a humiliating episode with an older lady".

He said it was "with an older lady, who loved horses very much and treated me like a young stallion".

The excerpt read: "'I mounted her quickly, after which she spanked my ass and held me back… one of my mistakes was letting it happen in a field, just behind a busy pub. No doubt someone had seen us'."

source: Sky News

well I don’t even know what to make of that 😬🤭😆🤣

Anyone going to buy the audio book?😱😂!!

Me too. I’d decided i definitely wouldn’t but I could use a good laugh.

Not taking selfies at the time for their Netflix Doc

Just to be clear, it was NOT my inner Nan.

All royal/aristo babies are circumcised, I won't bother going into the reasons.

OMG. I am in tears of laughter here. Someone should publish the dodgy GCSE translation of the memoir with footnotes of the best Mumsnet/Twitter comments.

MN at it's finest.

Just blarfed tea all over my laptop!

What does 'spanked my ass and held me back' even mean?

This must be a dodgy translation surely?

What's the copy that The Guardian had apparently got hold of when this first all broke this morning? Was that a Spanish version too, because that hasn't really been mentioned since?

🤪🤢

If it's narrated by Manuel I might

This has got to be trolling, right? Apart from all the obvious ways in which the above is insane, it is assuming that being uncircumcised is a bit weird, which I think is (or was?) the case in the US but is definitely not the case in the UK.

I’m imagining the reactions from group of journalists, eagerly crowded around a translator who was holding the book…

Maybe it was you @ArcaneWireless 😅

He’d never again be first a foremost Willy. We’d never again ride together across the Lesotho countryside with capes blowing behind us. We’d never again share a horsey-smelling cottage while learning to fly. Who shall separate us? Life, that’s who.”

HOWLING

Is Page Six a spoof or genuine news site? I'm so confused.

i wish I could un-read that. How embarrassing…. Every other revelation is going to be obscured by that ridiculous bit of prose!

can’t do any worse…

It must be a spoof. This cannot be real.

Well played, whoever you are! Excellent trolling.

@Volkswagenitalia - “ spanked my arse and sent me on my way” it a version being reported by some papers. Sounds more sensible.

The English version needs to be out ASAP, so that the translators are not given artistic licence any longer 😂

Howling at some reporter having to choose between "spanked my ass and held me back” and "spanked my arse and sent me on my way” as being most true to the original 🤣🤣🤣

I've pre-ordered a copy now! This Spanish translation had better be accurate, I need a good laugh.

Oh please do go into the reasons!

I can't decide whether the book is really awful and the translators are having a laugh making it even more ridiculous, or that the whole thing is a fake. I mean, it must be fake, right? I think he's an idiot, but no one could be that much of an idiot?!

Here's another translation

In his explosive new memoir “Spare,” Prince Harry detailed losing his virginity in a “quick” romp with an “older woman.”
“Inglorious episode,” the Duke of Sussex writes in the book, which hits shelves in the US on Jan. 10. “She liked horses, quite a lot, and treated me not unlike a young stallion.”
He continues, “Quick ride, after which she’d smacked my rump and sent me to grace.”

The Editor: Are you sure that's what it says?
Translator: <Shrugs> Close enough.

Make it stop.

.