How Harry lost his virginity

[SnottyLottie]

Harry described losing his virginity as "a humiliating episode with an older lady".

He said it was "with an older lady, who loved horses very much and treated me like a young stallion".

The excerpt read: "'I mounted her quickly, after which she spanked my ass and held me back… one of my mistakes was letting it happen in a field, just behind a busy pub. No doubt someone had seen us'."

source: Sky News

well I don’t even know what to make of that 😬🤭😆🤣

I missed the news, but read this post just before I got in to bed. Couldn’t stop giggling and really pissed DH off 😂😂

"I was snipped as a baby"
All right then...Roundhead rather than Cavalier.

Yeah me too love the fact Harry has found his voice - and is speaking loud and clear - sick of being silenced all these years.

I'm glad he's speaking too, I haven't had such a laugh in a long time. He's showing himself up to be the petulant, spiteful brat many of us have suspected to be for a long time. Could never have predicted he would detail his frostbitten knob though 😂

IF he was silenced, there was clearly very good reason for it. Being protected from himself, more like.

Am reading aloud to teenage dd who is still awake. Her response “OMG those poor children, imagine your Dad telling the whole world about his penis”

Agree, but Harry was 9 when the worst revelations about his parents were hitting the media, and at boarding school.

It’s not surprising that his reference points for normal are a bit off.

Harry was never silenced. I've heard him give interviews over the years. Somewhat different in content and tone to all of this, however.

Very true @Maireas - he's contradicted himself many times over hasn't he

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I agree with @MareAndSpare

@MNHQ can we please nominate this thread to go into classics? I haven’t laughed this much in ages 🤣

I feel torn about laughing at Harry as he’s clearly very unwell. However, if you didn’t laugh you’d cry. It’s so appallingly crass in every way. I think many people have someone in their family who behaves like this. It’s painful .

Thought Clive Myrie's eyebrows were going to take off.

On Newsnight Faisal Islam called the description of Harry losing his virginity 'racy'. I'm now wondering if he's on MN and was taking the piss about the stallion stuff knowing the RF's link with horseracing.

Really hoping it's just badly translated form the Spanish version !

If it was a badly translated version they would have pulled the articles by now. The fact its still in all the papers and the news suggests the extracts are a pretty accurate translation.

I can’t take credit for 50 Shades of Neigh, much as I’d love to - it was some genius on earlier pages. This thread has given me the giggles so much.

He truly is the Prince Andrew of his generation.

once considered to be the better/best ‘catch’ of the brothers

leans heavily on the served in the military element for public good will

unable to accept good advice from friends or staff

surrounds himself with ‘friends’ and yes men who encourage his worst ideas for their own benefit

unable to see his own privilege

jealous of his older brother and family for their more senior position

entitled

Clumsy, maybe, but it would have to be rue to the original.

Harry will be changing his surname from Mountbatten to Mountslappem

Spanish is not that difficult to translate, it’s not like it’s a rare language with few competent translators around. I’m going to assume it’s pretty accurate.

This, and also ordinary non-professional people speaking Spanish and English is a pretty common combination. It's not a particularly conducive setup to deceptive translations. I'm sure there are some things that are question marks, like I wouldn't be surprised if he says arse rather than ass in the UK version, but those are relatively minor.

I can imagine the ghostwriter adopting an 'Emily Maitlis interviewing Prince Andrew' poker face whilst Harry reminisced.

However I do feel that someone who cared about him - even if not the ghostwriter - could have saved Harry from himself.

Finding it funny makes me feel a little grubby.

Translation is hard and things can be lost - ie often you won’t want to actually to a word for word translation as it doesn’t make sense. Idioms in particular need some effort. I suspect there might be a bit of flowering up of the language in the Spanish version where a literal translation makes it more entertaining but the source material will be there in the English.

I wonder if it was inspired by a drunken game of Buckaroo. The fact that she slapped his arse and sent him packing was a way of saying that she had begrudgingly done her duty and was not up for round two.

If the original turns out to be "she smacked my bottom", how is that any better?

I can't imagine the verb or the object would be completely mistranslated into entirely different things!

However, if the Spanish translation is this funny can we PLEASE have translations from the other languages too!

I'd bloody love to hear of the frost nipped Bratwurst!😂

There’s my need, do the deed
My lulu’s for the filling you hairy red steed

Crying laughing at this. @ArcaneWireless wins MN and the whole internet.

@MNHQ this has got to go into Classics.

They are lucky that it wasn't originally leaked in Mandarin. Plenty of Spanish translators around.