How Harry lost his virginity

[SnottyLottie]

Harry described losing his virginity as "a humiliating episode with an older lady".

He said it was "with an older lady, who loved horses very much and treated me like a young stallion".

The excerpt read: "'I mounted her quickly, after which she spanked my ass and held me back… one of my mistakes was letting it happen in a field, just behind a busy pub. No doubt someone had seen us'."

source: Sky News

well I don’t even know what to make of that 😬🤭😆🤣

She "spanked his ass"?! He's posh and English for goodness sake. Sounds like she took a whip to his pet donkey.

What made him think any of these revelations were a good idea?

You insult Jilly Cooper! I wonder if the older lady is on MN, will she disclose more details?

Or Zara's mount for the next Olympics??

Doesn’t the pub romp sound like a Chaucer farce? God these English princes!

And on another literary note, a friend just sent me a message saying Harold described Steinbeck’s Of Mice And Men as a short story about not very much 😱Classic Harold!!!

I’d love his reviews of other masterpieces…

Or she'll be on the phone to a literary agent!

I’ve literally just pissed myself a bit reading this!

The horse brasses and ‘flick of a beery teatowel on the arse’ have finished me off.

How can this man ever show his face in public again?!

And the RF whatsapp group will be red hot! Imagine Mike Tindalls's comments for starters.

I don't wish to post on a different thread, but I think that the Spanish leak was probably deliberate with someone with a view to finding the opportunity to take advantage of how tranlations don't always go through smoothly.

Haeold has made an ass of himself

OMG I'm going to die laughing. I can't breathe

Isn’t a sort of second Christmas coming up in Spain? On of our colleagues is off for it with family - so maybe the leak in Spain was to get sales in before that?

That’s the theory. Spanish booksellers jumped the gun so people could buy it as epiphany gifts.

Unfortunately for auld Harold, he is forever going to be known for the leaked words - however they may have been translated.

Not only a frozen knob but a knob that will be frozen out.

The whinny has been taken out of his sails.

I care not a joy for the royals but love to see Harry find his voice and speak out against ‘the firm’. Can only imagine the squirming and panicking in Buck House!😂
Paedophiles, adulterers and abusers that we have to pay for and yet so many trip over themselves snivelling and scraping like fools.
No thanks.

*jot

I’m absolutely loving him ‘finding his voice’ too, but I think for very different reasons🤣

I know it’s hilariously isn’t it! All a bunch of losers.

People in his position don’t get mental illness

Me too. Who knew his voice could be so very amusing? And spawn so much hilarity.

I also find myself have flickers of unlikely attraction for Prince William, much to my horror. Steaming round in person because Harold cravenly hung up on him, in order to stand up for his beleaguered staff and the final image of Harry in the dog bowl has cheered up January no end. Then standing up for his pregnant wife, pointing out how rude the new wannabe in law’s misogynistic comment is. Yum.

Fifty Shades of Neigh was the icing on the cake. Three cheers for the Spanish translation! I was NOT expecting to weep with laughter over this book. A pleasant surprise.

I'm so looking forward to the spin off Netflix show for kids about Horsey Harold and his ever involved pal little Richard going on adventures. The one in the field with the horsey mix up. The one in the south pole where little Dick gets frostbite. The one where they move to the US for privacy.

If it wasn't she'll probably claim it.

Fergie should get in on the action. She can add to her series of Budgie books with the tale of the frozen chopper…

Do you think if we agreed to give him £££ of taxpayers' money he might shut up?

That's what he asked for isn't it? The only reason he's flogging gossip is because the RF wouldn't fund his lifestyle when he wasn't willing to do any royal visits.

Maybe it was a camel and not a horse then.

Fifty Shades of Neigh

😆😆bravo @DuchessOfPort