Page 31 | How Harry lost his virginity

8misskitty8 · 05/01/2023 23:16

Can just imagine the Amazon reviews titles once it’s released.

Blossomtoes · 05/01/2023 23:20

ArcaneWireless · 05/01/2023 21:52

I can’t do it I won’t do it
Oh go on sir it might be nice
Go quickly if thickly
You might be up to do it twice

There’s my need, do the deed
My lulu’s for the filling you hairy red steed
You can do it, you can do it
You can do it toniiight.

I can do it I can do it
My cherry’s been whole long enough
Full of beer come here dear
It’s time to pucker up your muff
I’m hiding whilst riding
I don’t do navigation I may need some guiding
I can do it I can do it toniiiight

I have done it I’ve done it
I can really call myself a man
Took a while, equine style
It’s a story I can tell my gran
A stallion, rapscallion
My name is Horny Harold bring me my medallion (necklace)
I’ve done it, I’ve lost it toniiight.

You deserve a damehood for services to MN today. You’ve had me laughing all today.

notangelinajolie · 05/01/2023 23:21

This is by far the best Mumsnet thread I have ever read. Thank you all for making me laugh.

Wayk · 05/01/2023 23:23

Harry you are a married man with children, we do not want to know how you lost your virginity, whatever issues you have take them to counselling.

NeighHarry · 05/01/2023 23:23

Harry should stop horsing around.
The question is though, was it a filly or an old nag he mounted?
Did he should hi-ho silver?

FrostBittenNob · 05/01/2023 23:23

Took a while, equine style

This is possibly the funniest line I have ever read on MN, and the whole poem is an excellent adaptation.

EsmaCannonball · 05/01/2023 23:24

Anyone else want Princess Anne to buy a stallion and call it Harold?

EsmaCannonball · 05/01/2023 23:29

Lentilweaver · 05/01/2023 21:37

Please let him do the audio book. Please God.

Does Will Ferrell do audiobooks? I'm definitely seeing him in the film.

Abigail69 · 05/01/2023 23:30

SnottyLottie · 05/01/2023 16:46

Harry described losing his virginity as "a humiliating episode with an older lady".

He said it was "with an older lady, who loved horses very much and treated me like a young stallion".

The excerpt read: "'I mounted her quickly, after which she spanked my ass and held me back… one of my mistakes was letting it happen in a field, just behind a busy pub. No doubt someone had seen us'."

source: Sky News

well I don’t even know what to make of that 😬🤭😆🤣

IMO, this story was aimed for April 1st and somehow got released early

"stallion"?? More a case of a donkey, lol

ArcaneWireless · 05/01/2023 23:30

I’m loving that we are getting to experience what it would have been like if Alan Partridge had been born into the royal family.

The ball is not in their court.

I think you’ll find where it is if if you lift the lid off the gear knob. 😉

dcut · 05/01/2023 23:33

I was born in 1980 so I'm too young to remember, but can anyone tell me if the general public were actually speculating about whether royal babies were circumcised in the early 80s? I can possibly imagine it now, with the influence of America on public discourse, but back then?

Why are they circumcised? Are a lot of babies circumcised? Or is it a royal tradition or something?

I'm not talking about the Jewish practice of circumcision - I am aware of that.
Just didn't realize that non-Jewish babies might also be circumcised.

BellePeppa · 05/01/2023 23:38

dcut · 05/01/2023 23:33

I was born in 1980 so I'm too young to remember, but can anyone tell me if the general public were actually speculating about whether royal babies were circumcised in the early 80s? I can possibly imagine it now, with the influence of America on public discourse, but back then?

Why are they circumcised? Are a lot of babies circumcised? Or is it a royal tradition or something?

I'm not talking about the Jewish practice of circumcision - I am aware of that.
Just didn't realize that non-Jewish babies might also be circumcised.

No. I was an adult then and I have absolutely no recollection of that being discussed in the news or papers.

BellePeppa · 05/01/2023 23:39

EsmaCannonball · 05/01/2023 23:24

Anyone else want Princess Anne to buy a stallion and call it Harold?

Oh that would be sweet 😁

Marisquita · 05/01/2023 23:43

dcut · 05/01/2023 23:33

I was born in 1980 so I'm too young to remember, but can anyone tell me if the general public were actually speculating about whether royal babies were circumcised in the early 80s? I can possibly imagine it now, with the influence of America on public discourse, but back then?

Why are they circumcised? Are a lot of babies circumcised? Or is it a royal tradition or something?

I'm not talking about the Jewish practice of circumcision - I am aware of that.
Just didn't realize that non-Jewish babies might also be circumcised.

Here’s an academic analysis of the subject in connection with the RF:

journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2158244013508960

SockGoddess · 05/01/2023 23:43

He said it was "with an older lady, who loved horses very much and treated me like a young stallion".

The excerpt read: "'I mounted her quickly, after which she spanked my ass and held me back… one of my mistakes was letting it happen in a field

It kind of reads as if she really thought he was a horse!

Anyway I can’t believe this is real, surely Meghan would have checked the text, how could she let him make such a twat of himself and embarrass her and their kids like that? I mean who wants that to be public knowledge about their dad/husband. Criiiiiiiinge.

And yes the poor woman, you shag a prince (who you possibly thought was a horse) in a field 20 years ago and it comes back to bite you on the arse! Someone will know who she is (prob Wills at the very least). The only way this could get more embarrassing is if we have to hear her side of it too.

EsmaCannonball · 05/01/2023 23:44

Are we sure the older lady into horses isn't one of those pub landladies who's very proud of her horse brass collection and misses the days when you could smoke down the William Hill? Never seen without a tea towel.

NotAnOAP · 05/01/2023 23:45

SnottyLottie · 05/01/2023 22:44

Meghan, One’s Stallion?

www.google.co.uk/search?client=safari&hl=en-gb&cs=0&q=megan+thee+stallion+cash+shit&stick=H4sIAAAAAAAAAONgFuLVT9c3NMwwMkkzjC9LVoJyDdPNTEwrjbUEfUuLM5Mdi0oyi0tC8oPz89IXscrmpqYn5imUZKSmKhSXJObkZObnKSQnFmcoFGdklgAAc1Dpc1MAAAA&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiktLWDzrH8AhV5gf0HHUhbCsgQri56BAgLEDM&biw=1024&bih=725&dpr=2

StClare101 · 05/01/2023 23:47

“I mounted her quickly”. His misogyny really shines through there. She was a real person, Harry.

FirThusThraed · 05/01/2023 23:47

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 05/01/2023 21:20

No.

The ghostwriter will be getting their story from the horses mouth.

Show quote history

The horse behind the pub?

Hellybelly84 · 05/01/2023 23:48

From the man who moved to America to avoid press intrusion…im so embarassed for him.

Yfory · 05/01/2023 23:50

"mounted her" - who says that!
What astonishes me most is that he's saying all this stuff and yet there are also reports that he would like to be reconciled with William and Charles again - HOW after all this??

dcut · 05/01/2023 23:51

Marisquita · 05/01/2023 23:43

Here’s an academic analysis of the subject in connection with the RF:

journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2158244013508960

Show quote history

Thank you!

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 05/01/2023 23:52

EsmaCannonball · 05/01/2023 23:44

Are we sure the older lady into horses isn't one of those pub landladies who's very proud of her horse brass collection and misses the days when you could smoke down the William Hill? Never seen without a tea towel.

Maybe that's what she whacked him on the arse with, sent him on his way with a flick of the beery teatowel?

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 05/01/2023 23:56

Let's hope he keeps his trap shut about Chelsy and Cressida. He's a chump of the first order.

Return2thebasic · 05/01/2023 23:57

If the netflix show has earned them any sympathy (particularly in the States), I'm afraid after this book (if really as leaked) would make not one sane soul/business want to be associated with them. Just self destruction in full display.

Is the published book really what they approved???