How Harry lost his virginity

[SnottyLottie]

Harry described losing his virginity as "a humiliating episode with an older lady".

He said it was "with an older lady, who loved horses very much and treated me like a young stallion".

The excerpt read: "'I mounted her quickly, after which she spanked my ass and held me back… one of my mistakes was letting it happen in a field, just behind a busy pub. No doubt someone had seen us'."

source: Sky News

well I don’t even know what to make of that 😬🤭😆🤣

More neighing than barking! 🐎

No wonder Liz Hurley was all over the papers at the weekend telling everyone it wasn't her. Good grief.

Invading your own privacy is clearly ok. Also I now know more about his sex life than my own brother's. Thank God.

More neighing than barking! 🐎

Oh I dunno, the next volume will probably detail more sexploits 🤮- doggy is bound to feature

'I mounted her quickly, after which she spanked my ass and sent me away’

Harold mate, that’s one of the most cringe inducing lines ever.

Where is all the bleating about privacy now?!?

I get that they need to make money somehow to finance their entitled lifestyles....but there is absolutely zero requirement to make these pathetic details public.

How can they ever dare talk about privacy again when he's giving all this highly unnecessary detail about something intimate.

They are just totally discrediting themselves now. What a feeble minded, self absorbed individual he's showing himself to be with this book.

Maybe it was Camilla

very good @ArcaneWireless ! I knew you were given to mainlining Angel Delight but I had no idea you were a poet too!

I’ve never been much interested in the RF but tonight that has changed.

It has to be butterscotch though@YouOKHun 😉

Details are important.

Like a frost bitten knob or a fumble round the back of a pub. 🫣

This thread has made me laugh. Special praise to ArcaneWireless for rewriting Let's Do It.

You couldn't make it up, I'm weeping.

I'm loving all the namechanges 😂

<twirls>

With every new cringe inducing revelation Andew probably can't believe his luck.

Sounds like a Jilly Collins scene but without the detail. Why did he think anyone needed to know this?

Twirling too 😁

The thing is, it’s been ghostwritten. Yet it it reads like Harry has written it. It smacks of half literate teenage boy vibes
crossed With Meghan's overblown flowery language.

Jilly Collins = excellent mashup!

I was born in 1980 so I'm too young to remember, but can anyone tell me if the general public were actually speculating about whether royal babies were circumcised in the early 80s? I can possibly imagine it now, with the influence of America on public discourse, but back then?

If (and a very big 'if'!) it's true, why did William call his brother 'Harold'? In his case, it's the diminutive of Henry! You'd think his own brother would know his actual name.....

I don't. I'd wet the bed laughing or have nightmares.

Can I ask: this is a book of fiction, isn't it? In the style of Jilly Cooper?

I want that one! Very funny.

Nickname

@Janie1962 , maybe because they have nicknames for each other.
Have you not heard of Fred & Gladys?

I've just seen the bit about Harold tripping on mushrooms and thinking a pedal bin and a toilet were talking to him.

I'm loving that we are getting to experience what it would have been like if Alan Partridge had been born into the royal family.