How Harry lost his virginity

[SnottyLottie]

Harry described losing his virginity as "a humiliating episode with an older lady".

He said it was "with an older lady, who loved horses very much and treated me like a young stallion".

The excerpt read: "'I mounted her quickly, after which she spanked my ass and held me back… one of my mistakes was letting it happen in a field, just behind a busy pub. No doubt someone had seen us'."

source: Sky News

well I don’t even know what to make of that 😬🤭😆🤣

Howling at much of this but I must admit, if he was my brother I’d be really really worried about him

i read this story about him and his virginity first on mumsnet more than a year ago,
do you think this is where the ghost writer is getting their story?

This thread is gold. But something has clearly gone very wrong with Harry.

No.

The ghostwriter will be getting their story from the horses mouth.

Even if you'd broken his necklace and thrown him onto a dog bowl?

I agree @TangledWebOfDeception I think that if you’re going to tell your truth to the world then you leave out the bits that make you look like a dick (frostbite, newly deflowered and all)

😂😂😂

Do we think this accidental Spanish translation is legitimate? What if its a prank that someone has orchestrated ..... because its all just a little too weird? spanking ass and falling on the dog bowl and killing 25 people - I can't imagine how ANYONE would want to share any of those details

what if this is one big prank and the worlds media has gone into a frenzy over what just is close enough to the real thing to seem real but is just bizarre enough to be a prank?

Even then!

I'm still hoping it is. But highly unlikely as surely all articles would have been pulled by now, once notification had come from publishers that this was not legit.

I think if it was a prank H&M would be onto it immediately, dismissing the claims and threatening all kinds of lawsuits.

You're fab. Plus, great user name.

Anyone else worried about the long term effects of frost bite?

Then wrote it on the hoof.

I'm relieved to know that someone's first sexual experience was more cringeworthy than mine.

But it shows the upper classes just have different types of bad sex, just with fewer back seats of a Ford Escort.

sorry but im not horsey-if he was the stallion why did he mount her?

Because she was the mare. That's how it works.

'Let's do it like they do on the discovery channel'

Oh my god, this is brilliant 😂😂

God.

Gonna have to google the new-one-on-me frostbitten knob before I sign off now 👺

<insert missing 'it' where appropriate*>

*NOT a euphemism

I'm thinking this.

And H&M are letting it run because once the book comes out and it will sell MILLIONS thanks to these daft stories

Snazzysausage - you are absolutely hilarious!
If you wrote a book I'd buy it full price (and not wait until it appears in charity shops for 50 pence like "Spare")

Risky strategy. But plausible I guess.

I never come on here because I am as Republican as they come, but Harry's oversharing has converted me! Brilliant entertainment to get me through January. I really hope this is not a prank.

I wish I could un-know this! Grim!