How Harry lost his virginity

[SnottyLottie]

Harry described losing his virginity as "a humiliating episode with an older lady".

He said it was "with an older lady, who loved horses very much and treated me like a young stallion".

The excerpt read: "'I mounted her quickly, after which she spanked my ass and held me back… one of my mistakes was letting it happen in a field, just behind a busy pub. No doubt someone had seen us'."

source: Sky News

well I don’t even know what to make of that 😬🤭😆🤣

I hope it is a prank, for his sake. If it's real then he's really not in a good place.

How on earth did his knob end up frostbitten?????

The Mare and Spare!!!!! This is absolute gold!

Surely he's not really going to do the audiobook? How will he manage not to snigger about a frostbitten nob or a spanked arse?

Please let him do the audio book. Please God.

Where were the royal protection officers when this was happening?

Were they a few feet away watching?

The newspapers are going to try and find the identity of this woman now.

I am currently recovering from Covid and at the moment I'm laughing so hard at this thread and wheezing away, I sound like Muttley 😂

Hilarious 😂

I never thought I'd ever see the words "frostbitten", "nob", "spanked" and "arse" appear together in one sentence. 😂

😆

There has to be a Megan Thee Stallion joke in here somewhere. Meghan, Thy Stallion?

No way, why buy the book the memes and quotes are all online, no need to go reading a print copy. This is much more fun.

I hope the woman involved isn't identified - she's going to get publicly ridiculed, and she didn't choose to put herself in the firing line like Harry did...

You should read more widely 😂

You win the internet for LIFE 🥇 😂😂😂😂😂

Oh I think that would backfire hugely. But people can be surprising!

I'm certainly not going to buy it (I wouldn't have any way, tbf). I'm having my fill of belly laughs tonight and then I'm going to go back to ignoring.

I thought the book had been withdrawn

I can’t do it I won’t do it
Oh go on sir it might be nice
Go quickly if thickly
You might be up to do it twice

There’s my need, do the deed
My lulu’s for the filling you hairy red steed
You can do it, you can do it
You can do it toniiight.

I can do it I can do it
My cherry’s been whole long enough
Full of beer come here dear
It’s time to pucker up your muff
I’m hiding whilst riding
I don’t do navigation I may need some guiding
I can do it I can do it toniiiight

I have done it I’ve done it
I can really call myself a man
Took a while, equine style
It’s a story I can tell my gran
A stallion, rapscallion
My name is Horny Harold bring me my medallion (necklace)
I’ve done it, I’ve lost it toniiight.

Well thank you!☺️
I did think if Mysterious Older Woman is on MN and reads this,maybe we could collaborate on a collection of poems. I'm not too expensive although I would require an upfront payment as opposed to a percentage deal.(To protect my income in the event of a straight to the bargain bin scenario obviously.) I'll do signed copies too.😉

He’d never again be first a foremost Willy. We’d never again ride together across the Lesotho countryside with capes blowing behind us.
It's just like Ted and Dougal, only with less hair

m.youtube.com/watch?v=jzYzVMcgWhg

Stop it, I'm choking 😂😂😂😂

If you’re horny, let’s do it, ride it my pony…

Genuwine needs to be brought back into the charts for this.

Seriously dying here 🤣

@ArcaneWireless - genius! 😂👍
Nods to the much missed Victoria Wood ☺️

This thread is comedy gold and has made me snort most inelegantly

From the older horsey ladies I know, I can totally imagine a brisk encounter being followed by a good slap on the rump and a “Trousers up man, off you go!”