How Harry lost his virginity

[SnottyLottie]

Harry described losing his virginity as "a humiliating episode with an older lady".

He said it was "with an older lady, who loved horses very much and treated me like a young stallion".

The excerpt read: "'I mounted her quickly, after which she spanked my ass and held me back… one of my mistakes was letting it happen in a field, just behind a busy pub. No doubt someone had seen us'."

source: Sky News

well I don’t even know what to make of that 😬🤭😆🤣

Or translated by a northerner.

@JustMerkinYourChain 😂😂

I am baffled as well. It is really sounding like he was with a horse.

Think he's been reading Jilly Cooper !

It is really sounding like he was with a horse.

Could he be the reincarnation of Catherine The Great 🤓

If he was my husband this would give me the famouse Mumsnet ick. M must look at him across the dinner table and wonder who the hell she has married.

It's supposed to be, "after which she spanked my arse and sent me on my way". That's what other places have printed, anyway

Those Spanish translators! Job of a lifetime, they must had had a huge 😂😅😂😜

Any chance the Spanish translation is a spoof? Do they do New Years’ pranks in Spain, instead of waiting until 1st April?!

Soooo…. Actually very little is known about H and W years.. sort of scraps but not much confirmed. Harry has just given Netflix and countless producers TONNES of material - stuff we’d never have ever known (or wanted to know). It’s also so weird that he’s disclosing stuff the press has never even hinted at? The Crown’s next season has written itself! I mean totally selling himself and all the really gorey cringey details. This is like a totally z list celeb book rather than a bio of anyone with any self awareness. Crinnnnnge! But thankful for such a funny thread :)

Theresa May once said she bad been naughty in a field

Katie Hopkins was caught on camera not being averse either...

What a charming image...

Next in Waterstones
A (Royal) Bonk In The Bushes
A collection of poems by Mysterious Older Woman
The sun was high, the air was still,I knew it would be such a thrill.
I spanked his arse,he gave a yelp,it was clear right then he needed help.
Behind that pub and under a tree, is how he lost his virginity!

@LeopardPrintHo - my thoughts exactly 😅 Oh dear Harry, please stop now!

😂😂😂👍👍

if it’s true then the identity of the woman may be known to his then circle of friends as I’m sure a 17 year old would tell his mates and that’s terribly unfair on her as she may fear the awful
embarrassment if her name comes out!

Is that a direct quote from the book @Barbie222? Straight out of the when Harry met Fanny chapter? It’s got the equestrian flavour and the other element.

Could a horse point a hoof to indicate the direction on which he/she wanted Hazza to go though? Or spank him on his arse? The dog bowl injuries would pale into insignificance after that, surely.

Ahhh I'm enjoying this thread so much!!

⭐️⭐️⭐️😂😂😂⭐️⭐️⭐️

Isn't the Wales nanny Spanish? She might offer a first quick blushing translation. I hope Kate and Will have a well deserved chuckle at Harold's stream of consciousness. OMG.

I keep thinking about Henry VIII, and the jousting accident he had in 1536 which historians have now theorised completely altered his personality, and caused his behaviour to become extreme... to say the least.

I keep wondering if something similar has happened here because I cannot imagine what on earth convinced Harry that talking about losing his virginity, having his arse spanked and to top it all off, an anecdote about his frostbitten knob, was a clever idea.

😂😂 the frost bitten knob!
Oh, this just keeps getting better!