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How Harry lost his virginity

1000 replies

SnottyLottie · 05/01/2023 16:46

Harry described losing his virginity as "a humiliating episode with an older lady".

He said it was "with an older lady, who loved horses very much and treated me like a young stallion".

The excerpt read: "'I mounted her quickly, after which she spanked my ass and held me back… one of my mistakes was letting it happen in a field, just behind a busy pub. No doubt someone had seen us'."

source: Sky News

well I don’t even know what to make of that 😬🤭😆🤣

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ClaudeMyWinkleman · 05/01/2023 20:28

#ShutUpHarry is apparently trending

nypost.com/2023/01/05/shutupharry-trends-as-prince-harrys-book-spare-leaks/

ShamedBySiri · 05/01/2023 20:28

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 05/01/2023 17:14

Well, at least Charles can feel better about Tampongate now 😂

🤦‍♀️😂

MaudGone · 05/01/2023 20:28

TheRedLip · 05/01/2023 19:03

Hang on, if Harry mounted her (presumably from behind) then how could she simultaneously spank his arse? Does anyone have a diagram?

The spanking was after the deed was done

bakalava · 05/01/2023 20:29

MaudGone · 05/01/2023 20:28

The spanking was after the deed was done

Show quote history

Probably cos he farted.

SnowdroppersUnite · 05/01/2023 20:30

Hang on, if Harry mounted her (presumably from behind) then how could she simultaneously spank his arse?

Welcome to 2023 people. I think it's gonna give the last few years a run for their money Grin

greennavy · 05/01/2023 20:30

The Windsor family's whatsapp must be pinging off this eve!

Goosefatroasts · 05/01/2023 20:32

Yes it’s been bothering me all evening. How can you mount someone and then also get your arse spanked. I have some terrible images running through my mind. 😂😂

pillow56 · 05/01/2023 20:32

He is making himself an absolute object of ridicule

it's money in his pocket though.

MaudGone · 05/01/2023 20:32

SirChenjins · 05/01/2023 20:26

What does “held me back” here mean anyway? Held him at arm’s length at told him never to darken any of her doors ever again perhaps? Or has its real meaning been lost in translation?

The other translations say, "and sent me on my way", which makes a lot more sense

MalagaNights · 05/01/2023 20:37

I so hope Williamd and Kate are reading this.

Bluekerfuffle · 05/01/2023 20:37

8misskitty8 · 05/01/2023 20:10

Wonder if the lady in question will come forward to give her views on the ‘encounter’

Probably not, he was only one year older than prince Andrew’s accuser, wouldn’t look good for them.
I thought they had security with them at all times anyway. Either they were slack or had to watch that revolting spectacle.

ShamedBySiri · 05/01/2023 20:37

Fiji10 · 05/01/2023 17:30

So who's going to play older horse lady in season 7 of The Crown?

Oh God I'm late to this thread but it's the funniest yet.

I sometimes visit a pub that was Harry's local. I think I'm going to go there tomorrow evening with my ears flapping like mad.

Clettercletterthatsbetter · 05/01/2023 20:40

ArcaneWireless · 05/01/2023 18:22

The original would have been pictures in crayon so I doubt you would have escaped it.

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Oh I hope this is a genuine extract from the book. But, even if it isn’t, I’m happy as this thread has made me chortle.

@ArcaneWireless Your comment about the crayon drawings made me laugh so hard I had to leave my toddler’s room before I woke him up!

Fleurdecerisier · 05/01/2023 20:41

BruceAndNosh · 05/01/2023 16:49

How very unlike the home life of our dear Queen

I may never stop laughing at this 😂

Talapia · 05/01/2023 20:42

Horizons83 · 05/01/2023 17:00

I hadn't realised the ghostwriter was Jilly Cooper.

I thought that too, sounds so much like a Jilly Cooper novel.
This is way more information than anyone needs to know. Surely, he must realise his kids will read this one day.

User787878787878 · 05/01/2023 20:42

DH asked me yesterday whether we were going to get the audiobook for this. I don't think I can cope with listening to Hazza saying "penis". Just imagining hearing talking about this is making me cringe.

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 05/01/2023 20:42

This is just grim, he'll be releasing sex tapes next.

To think it was written while the Queen was still alive and would have become aware of it as far as he knew at that time.

BellePeppa · 05/01/2023 20:43

GrannieD · 05/01/2023 19:51

Theresa May once said she bad been naughty in a field............

Sorry peeps !!!!

Brilliant 😂

simplefree · 05/01/2023 20:43

next thing we know he will claim he was raped

User787878787878 · 05/01/2023 20:44

Talapia · 05/01/2023 20:42

I thought that too, sounds so much like a Jilly Cooper novel.
This is way more information than anyone needs to know. Surely, he must realise his kids will read this one day.

Show quote history

The only thing that's missing is Harry saying "Kerist" as Meg wraps herself in a dark-blue towel after taking a bath....

bakalava · 05/01/2023 20:44

I'm thinking of cancelling the audiobook. If I ever get the paper copy I shall put a Dostoyevsky dust jacket on it just so that I never get caught reading it!

thestepmumspacepodcast · 05/01/2023 20:45

This MUST be a joke!! 🙈

SnowdroppersUnite · 05/01/2023 20:45

The next book...

How Harry lost his virginity
BellePeppa · 05/01/2023 20:45

Normally M&H get my blood pressure rising but I haven’t laughed so much since these leaks came out 😂 There are going to be so many memes about this and the spat with William.

FirThusThraed · 05/01/2023 20:47

The next movie

How Harry lost his virginity
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