Page 18 | How Harry lost his virginity

SnottyLottie · 2023-01-05T16:46:39+00:00

Harry described losing his virginity as "a humiliating episode with an older lady". He said it was "with an older lady, who loved horses very much and treated me like a young stallion". The excerpt read: "'I mounted her quickly, after which she spanked my ass and held me back… one of my mistakes was letting it happen in a field, just behind a busy pub. No doubt someone had seen us'." source: Sky News well I don’t even know what to make of that 😬🤭😆🤣

Ladybug14 · 05/01/2023 19:10

TheRedLip · 05/01/2023 19:03

Hang on, if Harry mounted her (presumably from behind) then how could she simultaneously spank his arse? Does anyone have a diagram?

Horsewhip? Can you get a spank noise out of one?

RLScott · 05/01/2023 19:10

Saz12 · 05/01/2023 17:29

Either he’s so very far removed from the world we inhabit as to think this isn’t overstepping all boundaries of ick, and instead think that Jo Public wants this information - or he has some ongoing MH disorder / issue that leads him to make these things public.

Bit of both. He has no grasp on reality. Think his “rude and abrasive” wife has also been an influence.

OldFan · 05/01/2023 19:11

Yes, it's ewww, TMI.

He and Meghan have verbal diarrhea levels of oversharing.

Speedweed · 05/01/2023 19:11

SomethingLessIdentifiable · 05/01/2023 17:12

Good Lord I can’t look away, as much as it want to. I have really bad second hand embarrassement for him.

Who will actually buy this book now that the majority of it has been leaked by the press?

I wouldn't buy it, but I'm definitely putting my name down on the list at the library 🤣

Wishimaywishimight · 05/01/2023 19:12

I won't be buying the book but I am hugely looking forward to the first thread on 10 Jan!

Maireas · 05/01/2023 19:12

JaneJeffer · 05/01/2023 18:07

.

😂😂😂

crabbyapples · 05/01/2023 19:12

NeuroWasabi · 05/01/2023 19:10

Wow some of you are snobs. Why shouldn't he tell the truth about his own sexual experiences? It's his biography, and is about his experiences. He's just a human and I think he's well aware of the fact and wants others to know it too. I've got a lot of respect for him.

Look, if this is just the beginning, I am fully signed up for 50 Shades of Harry 😄

Maireas · 05/01/2023 19:13

crabbyapples · 05/01/2023 19:12

Look, if this is just the beginning, I am fully signed up for 50 Shades of Harry 😄

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😂😂😂

SirMingeALot · 05/01/2023 19:13

NeuroWasabi · 05/01/2023 19:10

Wow some of you are snobs. Why shouldn't he tell the truth about his own sexual experiences? It's his biography, and is about his experiences. He's just a human and I think he's well aware of the fact and wants others to know it too. I've got a lot of respect for him.

He is actually going to go way up in my estimation if publishing cringeworthy sex anecdotes becomes a recurring theme, not gonna lie.

JustMerkinYourChain · 05/01/2023 19:13

crabbyapples · 05/01/2023 19:12

Look, if this is just the beginning, I am fully signed up for 50 Shades of Harry 😄

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50 Shades of Bray 🐴

Mrsjayy · 05/01/2023 19:14

crabbyapples · 05/01/2023 19:10

He recalls: 'When I got to my partner and good friend Ahmed Raza Kahn, a Pakistani, I said, ''Ah, our little P* friend.'''
He added: 'And I didn't know anything about unconscious biases either. I was twenty-one years old, I had grown isolated from the real world and wrapped in privilege, and I believed that word was the same as 'Yankee.' Harmless.'

Sorry to derail the thread slightly, but does our H take any self-responsibility?

He is blaming his culture on his racism but its fine its all unconscious bias he didn't know any better ! He just wants to be "normal" now

Ryder68 · 05/01/2023 19:14

BruceAndNosh · 05/01/2023 16:49

How very unlike the home life of our dear Queen

😆

Fladdermus · 05/01/2023 19:14

crabbyapples · 05/01/2023 19:10

He recalls: 'When I got to my partner and good friend Ahmed Raza Kahn, a Pakistani, I said, ''Ah, our little P* friend.'''
He added: 'And I didn't know anything about unconscious biases either. I was twenty-one years old, I had grown isolated from the real world and wrapped in privilege, and I believed that word was the same as 'Yankee.' Harmless.'

Sorry to derail the thread slightly, but does our H take any self-responsibility?

Nope and he clearly doesn't know the difference between unconscious bias and blatant racism either.

Maireas · 05/01/2023 19:14

Isn't there a Bad Sex Award for books with the worst examples? We may have a winner.

ReunitedThorns · 05/01/2023 19:14

Who are they going to cast in The Crown? Judi Dench, Maggie Smith?!?

Youarethesun · 05/01/2023 19:14

I really hope it turns out this is a spoof or bad translation.

Because the alternative is that he wrote this, Meghan (probably) read a large portion of, if not all. The Ghost writer read and tried to rewrite it better than Harry had. Their media team must have read it. And possibly others.

and either they all thought it was great. Or they told him it could do with changes and he ignored them.

It doesn’t make sense that all these people liked it OR he is so arrogant he thought people would think the book was great and ignored advice.

crabbyapples · 05/01/2023 19:14

50 Shades of Neeeeeeeigh!

Horsey erotica - that's where Hazza can make his millions

JustMerkinYourChain · 05/01/2023 19:15

crabbyapples · 05/01/2023 19:10

He recalls: 'When I got to my partner and good friend Ahmed Raza Kahn, a Pakistani, I said, ''Ah, our little P* friend.'''
He added: 'And I didn't know anything about unconscious biases either. I was twenty-one years old, I had grown isolated from the real world and wrapped in privilege, and I believed that word was the same as 'Yankee.' Harmless.'

Sorry to derail the thread slightly, but does our H take any self-responsibility?

Yankee is not a term without issues either. He can’t help himself here.

Mrsjayy · 05/01/2023 19:15

JustMerkinYourChain · 05/01/2023 19:13

50 Shades of Bray 🐴

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👏

JustMerkinYourChain · 05/01/2023 19:15

I’m also trying really hard to not make a Yankee Doodle pun.

ferneytorro · 05/01/2023 19:15

TinyChancer · 05/01/2023 17:06

'mounted' 😬where's the sick emoji? What's wrong with 'shagged'?
'stallion' - yeah he wishes

We really did not need to know this

It’s the juxtaposition of the words mounted and ass that rather grates.

it’s just grubby, there’s perhaps a balance between emotionally repressed and spewing it all out but this isn’t it. I said it earlier at work and I’ll say it again it’s grubby. Very bad form.

Original poster

SnottyLottie · 05/01/2023 19:16

JustMerkinYourChain · 05/01/2023 19:13

50 Shades of Bray 🐴

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You win the internet!

OP posts:

ArcaneWireless · 05/01/2023 19:16

50 thrown shades
50 shades of hay
50 shades damper (assuming it was a water bowl)

labazslovesliving · 05/01/2023 19:16

sounds like something out of a Jilly Cooper novel!

JustMerkinYourChain · 05/01/2023 19:17

SnottyLottie · 05/01/2023 19:16

You win the internet!

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I think I was outdone by @crabbyapples follow up of 50 Shades of Neigh 😂